Thread by @dadjjk

#taekook crack au where at bangtan high, an anonymous account surfaces that starts to spread many rumors, it’s most popular being star quarterback jeon jungkook is in the closet; and outcast taehyung is his boy toy.

so this is my first au that i’ve posted so i’m sorry if it’s bad!! i’m trying here sksksksks and please no replying to the tweets just quote them! i hope people actually read this lmao

there will be:
~lots of gay
~mystery
~125% sexual tension
~clueless beans
~softness!!!
~maybe some angst? idk not too much if there is
~taemin love uwu
~side ships of yoonmin and namjin

#taekook intro pt 1: the stars of tonight’s program!!

#taekook intro pt 2: their trusty sidekicks ;)

#taekook intro pt 3: the commentary crew!!

i’ll probably start this tomorrow but yeah here’s a start! this idea came from a real life situation that happened to me when a fake account was made and spread rumors at my school so any similarities to other stories are purely coincidental! let me know what you think so far :)

#taekook 1: i love to start off my day with opposing opinions :)

#taekook 2: updates from inside the warzone (aka school)

#taekook 3: oh hoseokie if only you knew :)))

#taekook 4: the start of the end

#taekook 5: the infamous tweet that jimin sees

#taekook 6: the tea /gots/ to be spilled ~featuring a sprinkle of foreshadowing~ (ps im not making fun of demi she is an inspiration and im so glad she’s okay)

#taekook 7: a new challenger approaches! prepare your weapons and let the games begin!

#taekook 8: be careful what you wish for kiddos

#taekook 9: shock value much??

#taekook 10: tae is confusion

#taekook 11: the after effects

#taekook 12: jimin is a tad bit pressed

#taekook 13: hurricane taekook is abrewin

#taekook 14: jimin is a sassafrassy boi

(for the record, louie de palma is a character from an old show called taxi played by danny devito here is a clip for reference)

#taekook 15: jungkook is edumacated

#taekook 16: my name is jeon jungkook and i’m here to make it clear

#taekook 17: jungkook decided to do some “research” for uh science and makes some revelating discoveries

#taekook 18: meanwhile, unknown responds to jungkook’s tweet

#taekook 19: more tae confusion ~featuring more kermit memes and unknown’s weird comment~

#taekook 20: tae is fed up and just wants to eat his arby’s is that too much to ask ?

#taekook 21: sleepy time for lil miss expose pants

#taekook 22: moo moo we at the zoo

#taekook 23: how ironic that he’s in the closet

#taekook 24: intimacy? i haven’t heard that name in years

#taekook 25: everyone loves jungkookie and that’s the truth - well, except for unknown

#taekook 26: sounds like a plan, stan!

#taekook 27: talk about jungshook

#taekook 28: some fASciNAtiNg discoveries are made (sorry the ‘follows you’ is glitched up social dummy hates me)

#taekook 29: this au might as well be called ‘holes; not starring shia labeouf’

#taekook 30: you can’t tease someone about their nugs! that’s like, common sense.

#taekook 31: tae gets to work but alas, he cannot think of a fifth candidate

#taekook 32: jennie is added to the list and revisions are ~sadly~ made

#taekook 33: picky picky choosie choosie

#taekook 34: jennie’s profile ~featuring an ironic bio~ (ps making her twitter account made me even gayer because uhm wow look at that face like what is she so adorable for?)

#taekook 35: on the other side of twitter, jimin can’t understand the concept of ‘don’t poke the bear if it has anger issues’

#taekook 36: tae is sad about jungkook’s choice and jimin is quoting arrested development

#taekook 37: boom is the sound two bombs make after being dropped on twitter

#taekook 38: tae and jimin react to the news

#taekook 39: will jimin follow through? stay tuned!

#taekook 40: yoongi and jungkook get to talkin’

#taekook 41: tae is waiting for jimin but needs some emotional support so he texts seokjin

#taekook 42: jin knows all the tea and hoseok protects his babies

#taekook 43: minho the pointguard is hot as hell and not afraid to show his true ~GAY~ colors

#taekook 44: jimin follows through with his offer!!!

#taekook 45: i spy with my little eye a.... jealous jungkook?

#taekook 46: the penguin cafe- the place where you wanna be

#taekook 47: comedic timing on point yeehaw

here are their outfits for reference, courtesy of google (i just realized the outfits match omg goals)

#taekook 48: diddly darn acting skills; no longer foolproof <rest in piece>

#taekook 49: ebay deals: a package of “heteroness”! ~including an exclusive look at /the tweet/™

#taekook 50: bippity boppity boooooo the magic drink saves the day!

#taekook 51: popularity? idk what that is is it a popcorn brand

#taekook 52: if yOUUUUUUUUU

#taekook 53: two texts occur on jungkook’s phone hMmMmMmMmMmMm

#taekook 54: jennie the overachiever and taehyung the kind lima bean

#taekook 55: tae messages unknown but didn’t cope ahead lmao oopsies

#taekook 56: a group chat is made ~laganja would be so proud~

#taekook 57: jimin changes the group name and hoseok gives an inspirational speech let us all clap

#taekook 58: she-who-shall-not-be-named is dead to us in this household capiche?

#taekook 59: why is jungkookie thirsty? stay tuned to find out!

#taekook 60: tae’s got unknown right where he wants them. or does he?

a few weeks have passed and homecoming is in less than a week. tae and unknown have become close; tae and jungkook even closer.

#taekook 61: what we’ve missed these past few weeks ~part one~

#taekook 62: what we’ve missed ~part two~ -featuring my artwork

#taekook 63: regerts- by sneaky boi

#taekook 64: tae reacts to da news (what news? you’ll find out sooooon)

#taekook 65: taehyung breaks the news

hi it’s been a week im so sorry if this has typos and shit i wanted to give u guys some crumbs while i write some more but do you think unknown is jennie? what do u think she said? my cc is in my bio :) ps quick question if i have like super limited smut is that okay?

#taekook 66: hands are meant to be held uwu

#taekook 67: the perfect plan?

hi this is super short but i will /try/ to post tomorrow or the next day (tomorrow is my bday aka in a few hours in my timezone) so yeah! do you think it’s jennie? if not quote this tweet with theories or say them in my cc ~ which is in my bio hehe

#taekook 68: the plan is in motion boobies !¡!

#taekook 69: hehe this is 69 — get it cuz sex

#taekook 70: angry jungkookie lowkey makes me pop a chub ngl no homo

#taekook 71: hoco ? more like hoe no

#taekook 72: jennie is crying :/

#taekook 73: dates ?¿? ft. me uwu

#taekook 74: shookity shook jiminie with a countdown to prom !

#taekook 75: the next tae (get it cuz it’s tae instead of day ? hehe im funny)

this is the ‘the bees are back’ reference i just wanna bless ur lives thnx

#taekook 76: great googly moogly !!

#taekook 77: who was kookie talking about ¿

#taekook 78: wait what

heY I CHANGED MY USERNAME YEET anygays thank you for reading and always supporting me even if it’s just a few of you :))) do yall like when i do the written out parts in my notes ? i do but im just curious if yall do ! also my cc is in my bio uwu

#taekook 79: minho + tae = ?

#taekook 80: diet coke is my religion

#taekook 81: tae is hot & jimin’s twitter feud

#taekook 82: he knows... everything ?

#taekook 83: we stan a 🅱️ussy 🅱️op !¡!

#taekook 84: we stan cheap vodka that tastes like rubbing alcohol

#taekook 85: yoongi is me needing attention

#taekook 86: /you can never break a pinkie promise/

#taekook 87: tae’s drunk tweets from earlier

#taekook 88: meanwhile...

#taekook 89: tae’s an honest drunk

#taekook 90: sleepover it is !

#taekook 91: the next morningggg

#taekook 92: wendy needs /all/ the attention

#taekook 93: 🅱️ussy makes the world go round

#taekook 94: his mouth is glued shut

#taekook 95: is he still drunk tho ?

#taekook 96: authors note im dumb skdhdhsjjdjd

#taekook 97: he did what

#taekook 98: pump and dump is a real thing a guy told me a few nights ago

#taekook 99: this tweet is dedicated to @goobyjeons !! aka my beautiful mom

#taekook 100: yAY WE HIT 100 TWEETIES

#taekook 101: here we come !!

#taekook 102: tweets from da night ~gotta add some crack to this upcoming angst !!~

#taekook 103: we dont stan transparent feelings

#taekook 104: hoseok is with who now

#taekook 105: namjin up in this bih

#taekook 106: he finally arrives !!

#taekook 107: unknown is revealed

#taekook 108: bertha im scared

#taekook 109: unknown is actually revealed oops skhdhdjsjbdj

#taekook 110: taeho is the ship name boom im a genius

#taekook 111: the tweets that occured that fateful night

#taekook 112: listen to bad reputation we stan everything about it

#taekook 113: broken.

#taekook 114: the texts tae didnt recieve part one

#taekook 115: why cant they tell him? part two

#taekook 116: jungcork fucked up

#taekook 117: jin had given tae his old phone and tae finally decided to check twit and sees these tweets

#taekook 118: mayhaps tae snapped

#taekook 119: taehyung is still bothered so he does some google searches

#taekook 120: (reposted bc it was the wrong screenshot uwu) jin texts tae

#taekook 121: jin is actually a supportive bean !!

#taekook 122: lets have a good day

okay it was 50 nuggity nugs for $10 sorry gotta clarify uwu

#taekook 123: tae is me when anyone asks if im okay like bitch there’s crusty snot on my eyebrow what the fuck do you think

#taekook 124: can i have a dad like seojoon k thanks for coming to my daddy issues seminar

#taekook 125: tAE IS NOT PLAYING

#taekook 126: jikook are conspiring 👀

#taekook 127: he really will need it

#taekook 128: clean boi

#taekook 129: worried boi

#taekook 130: truthful boi

#taekook 131: assertive boi

LMAOOOO IVE BEEN LAUGHING THIS WHOLE ASS TIME THAT YALL DIDNT EXPECT THIS WE STAN PLOT TWISTS YALL REALLY THINK I WOULD MAKE IT JUNGKOOK AND JIMIN SKDHDJK anygays sorry im so happy yall finally know who it /actually/ is how does this make u feel? lmk :))) curiouscat.me/juicykth

#taekook 132: jungkook’s perspective of the cafe

#taekook 133: seojoon is a nice bean and deserves the world thnx

#taekook 134: wonder how that’ll play out for seojoon ?

#taekook 135: the text jungkook recieves

#taekook 136: jungkook tweets

#taekook 137: jimin saw gguk’s tweet and was worried

#taekook 138: namjoonie hyung, the true mother of this au

#taekook 139: jungkookie is lying :(((

#taekook 140: the next day dot dot dot

#taekook 141: taehyung wakes up finally

#taekook 142: we love character development

#taekook 143: what

#taekook 144: taehyung’s character development makes me ugly sob

#taekook 145: kiddos we out here bein confident or whatevs

#taekook 146: last night bitches

#taekook 147: taehyung being a confident gay holy fARTS

#taekook 148: jungkook is explaining shit

#taekook 149: softness > my bs angst

#taekook 150: maybe they do.

some time has passed and we’ve missed some stuff; here’s a recap !!

#taekook 151: the real question is why is the second pic so perfect for this

#taekook 152: jennie is finally not mean !! but she never was deep down

#taekook 153: namjin are okay :)))

#taekook 154: taekook nation raiSE YOUR HANDS

#taekook 155: he finally did .

a few months have passed and the two still haven’t kissed

#taekook 156: the stars are bright tonight .

#taekook 157: wait

#taekook 158: butterflies {|} (that looks more like a 🅱️ussy than a butterfly but yaknow)

and now, for the finale, mae presents...

#taekook 159: lets start off with seojoon !!

#taekook 160: jiminie and the frill

#taekook 161: jenlisa the legends

#taekook 162: i bet yall bitches forgot about hyungsik

#taekook 163: namjin uwuwuwuwuu

#taekook 164: hoseok ... ?

#taekook 165: jungkook the legend

#taekook 166: he finally hopped on the juancock

and they all lived happily ever after <3