Thread by @r_diamond

Question for all the #exvangelical #exfundie #exchristian moms out there, if you nursed your child(ren):
Did you, too, encounter bizarre attitudes about breastfeeding in your time in church? #thread

It started when my son was tiny - he didn't nurse until he was 5 weeks old, so I pumped and syringe fed (with my husband's help) every two hours around the clock for 5 weeks until he could latch.
I was told it was just my pride making me fight to nurse.

When he finally could nurse, where, when, and how often I nursed him became ammunition for them, beginning with my mother.
I was "being seductive" by nursing in public, nevermind that I had him in a sling and was wearing a tank under my shirt.

At 9 weeks, in La visiting friends, a pastor's wife walked into a restaurant where I was sitting - in a back room - with my friends. She peeled back my sling uninvited, and then yelled to her husband to "Stay back, she's BREASTfeeding!"

Then she proceeded to lecture me as to how in HER day, women breastfed in private. In a back room. That it was "enticing" to men for me to nurse while completely covered, because they could tell my baby was eating.

My pastor asked me not to feed my baby in church - before my baby was born! - because he thought women had to take their shirts off the nurse (???). To his credit, he did apologize after I stood talking to him, nursing, with him none the wiser, for 30 minutes.

At 6 months, a church lady pointed out to me that breastfeeding my son was making him "too attached" (???) and "If you died, he'd be really traumatized. So you should let me babysit him and give him a bottle."

I declined, asking why she thought pre-traumatizing my kid was good prep for "just in case" trauma.
Then I remembered my audience, and realized that 'christian' child-rearing practices are just another tentacle of that whole gnarly mess.

If I nursed him past a year, he'd be gay (that's where lesbians come from, too, mothers who nurse daughters. The More You Know...)

The worship leader commenting on my breasts, asking me - and I quote - "Do you name your boobs before you give them to your kid to suck on?" was met by the pastor with "Well, he's never been around nursing before, and he's a guy."#boyswillbeboys

I was asked to leave family dinners. I was told I was disgusting. I was told I was shameful. I was told that I was a rebellious Jezebel who wanted men to think about my breasts.

And in the meantime, all I wanted to do was feed my kid. I finally resorted to asking them "So, what kind of bottle did Mary use for Jesus?" and "You do know Samuel was at least 5 when he was weaned, right?" but that didn't make a difference.

All these years out from it, I see it as control. As another way to police women's bodies. After all, the nursing pair is exclusive. When all goes well, a mother's body makes milk. Her baby drinks it. If you believe in a Creator, surely this is designed by that Creator?

And no, this is not me criticizing women who couldn't nurse or who didn't want to nurse their child(ren). Your baby is fed? Good job, mama! <3 Because the same criticism in reverse is leveled at bottle-feeding moms (forsaking God's design!) See control, above.

Given that I encountered this in two countries, in multiple states and provinces, I'm thinking it wasn't limited to me and my son. But I'm curious - what were your experiences?
(And I'm shamelessly cc: @C_Stroop because more of you see her tweets ;-) )

@C_Stroop Oh my. How could I forget the "best" one? My MIL - whose pastor had told her she couldn't associate with us because we had "backslidden" - showed up at my door at 11pm, sneaking in to see her grandson.

She insisted on waking him up, this newborn baby I'd just gotten to sleep. His eyes were, understandably, red and he was fussy.
"You're making him r*t*rd*ed by breastfeeding him!" was her stunning conclusion.

And that's how I found myself getting a note from my son't pediatrician that my kid showed no signs of abnormalities and certainly none due to breastfeeding. :/ But that wasn't religious wackiness, that was just my MIL being my MIL ;-)

Ah yes, another memory...my son was 11 months old. I was sitting on the floor nursing him while I composed a eulogy for my grandfather's funeral that was starting in two hours. My 4 year old niece came up to me and asked "Why is he drinking from your BOOBIE, Aunt Rebecca?"

I said "Because that's how some babies eat. A mom's body makes milk, and the baby drinks it from the breast."
She replied "Well, MY mommy says that's DISGUSTING."

All I could say is "I'm sorry, sweetie. Your cousin seems to think it's pretty yummy, doesn't he?"

Those are the attitudes I fought against. I haven't seen my nieces since 2008, but I hope they remember. I hope that I gave them a glimpse of a different world.