Thread by @AtelierHeidi

Jared told me, point blank, "I own my infidelity. That's what it was and there's no excuse."

Now he's publicly insisting that it never happened and I'm just a liar. This is beyond dehumanizing. He cheated on me, acknowledged it, and backtracked for the public/his angry gf

He did suggest breaking up last October, and then it didn't happen. We had a conversation that ended with the mutual agreement to stay together. He kissed me sweetly on his way out the door to go fuck Holly at Twitch con.

I cancelled my own trip to twitch con the week of the event because he demanded that I did not go. He told me he would break up with me if I tried to go to Twitch con, even though I had my own room reservation and stream audience at the time.

I canceled my trip to save my marriage. I had no choice.
He threatened to break up with me to get some alone time with his mistress. I stayed home paralyzed with anxiety that my marriage would end no matter how hard I tried.
He came home and smiled and told me everything was fine

He's not just lying -he was living an entire double life. We bought new phones in December and he gifted me with a new tablet and data plan. We renewed our driver's licenses/ home address together in January. We simply weren't breaking up. He told me constantly he was committed.

He didn't even say he wanted a divorce until February. Then he said, "I'm ending this" instead of "I'm not sure if this is working". February was the official breakup. Until then, he was still getting indignant when I suggested he wasn't really trying to save our marriage.

Here's various screenshots of our conversations from that period. No, they're not very romantic because Jared was very emotionally distant. He wasn't being honest about why though, and let me believe he wanted us to work.

Here's me being incredibly passive about "establishing boundaries" with Holly a YEAR after she started interfering with our marriage. This is how convinced I was that he wasn't fucking her already. I still thought I could trust him to handle it lol
He did not respond in text

They had actually been fucking for 4 months or so by this point.

And here I was, naively asking him to handle it because I trusted him. I trusted him every time I asked, "what's really going on?" And he insisted, "nothing!"
Obviously I wasn't screening his texts like she claims

I was genuinely shocked when I discovered proof that he was lying. I could not believe that he was even capable of lying on this level, to this extent, for so long. It was calculated and intentional. It's pathological. It's terrifying.

Apparently he was even taking his ring off to stream and putting it back on before he walked out of his office to spend time with me. I only found that out much later, thanks to the internet.

That's not a scared desperate man. He was firmly in control.

This entire experience has been life- changing, traumatic, and deeply scarring. People shit on me for talking about it publicly, but the affair happened publicly. I endured it publicly. I was abused by public figures. They never truly respected my privacy. It's cathartic to talk.

And he did not value my mental health at all, to be willing to intentionally destroy it for so long just to get off. It's sick. Seeing him continue to push this ridiculous story is horrifying.

He always knew how his neglect and lies affected me. It wasn't an honest mistake.