Every day I wake up numb with disbelief that any of this happened in the first place. I was there and it still seems unreal and unfathomable. I feel numb all the time now, after being treated like my emotions and wellbeing were worthless for so long. The man that I desperately loved and constantly tried to please, the one person who took a vow to honor and cherish me forever, threw me to the dogs online to save his own reputation.
I'm not just talking about one video, I mean this whole "I didn't cheat" situation. Delusional.

Jared told me, point blank, "I own my infidelity. That's what it was and there's no excuse."

Now he's publicly insisting that it never happened and I'm just a liar. This is beyond dehumanizing. He cheated on me, acknowledged it, and backtracked for the public/his angry gf He did suggest breaking up last October, and then it didn't happen. We had a conversation that ended with the mutual agreement to stay together. He kissed me sweetly on his way out the door to go fuck Holly at Twitch con.

THREAD. Some thoughts on how you can help a friend leave an abusive situation, based on how my friends helped me. This isn't intended as universal or expert advice, just observations from my experience. Take it or leave it. Listen more than you talk. IMO that's vital for any emotional support. You're there to understand them, not tell them how to feel. Prioritize their story, not yours.

I lived with constant blame, neglect, lies, and anxiety for a year while my husband insisted none of this was happening, and our marriage was failing because I was just a bad person.

Going public was the most liberating experience I've ever had and I don't regret it. People who say to me now, "stop talking about it" don't realize that this has been an ongoing private hell. Talking about it is the only relief and peace I've felt in a long, long time. If you don't want to see me talk about it you're welcome to peace out, no hard feelings

Okay, Holly's Twitter thread is full of lies. She's exaggerating, twisting details, and taking Jared's word on a lot of stuff and running with it.

But most importantly, the heart of her argument is "I was just helping my friend leave his awful wife.... by having sex with him" As far as I can tell the whole point of these posts is to make me look bad? She's not adding clarity to her decision to secretly sleep with a married man, she's just saying, "look how awful his wife was"

Jared has always used his money to quiet me down. If I was upset it was, "go get yourself something nice" and never, "let's talk about it" This is his latest version of "I did right by her" -- meaning, he gave me money instead of integrity, honesty, and faithfulness

Well, I've already seen screenshots of Jared's latest statements.

Just count the number of times he says "Heidi" compared to addressing his actions.
I'm shocked that he's even still trying. This is full of misdirection and lies. He says he only acted with my approval and this is nothing short of bullshit. It's legitimately insane. I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not comfortable with polyamory after he proved he could not be transparent with me.
Countless people can corroborate this.

Couple things:
Yes I am physically safe. I am still in the process of moving into my new place, which keeps me very busy, but it's empowering to have my own little spot in the world. Yes, I'm in therapy. I have been for a long time, in order to cope with and get through this situation. My therapist is a huge badass and she challenges me and calls me out as well as supporting me. We all need accountability AND support.

I'm not a fan of cancel culture. Of course you should follow the people you like and ignore the ones you don't. But I also believe people are redeemable, if they want to be and work for it. During these last few months I was made to feel like I was tainted and unforgivable. That's one of the worst feelings in the world. I do not wish that on anyone, not even the people who hurt me

I have never dragged any friend or ex online for the sake of it. But my public figure husband cheated on me with another public figure, publicly, while fans cheered them on thinking it was fiction.
I think a public conclusion is appropriate. Any event I go to, people talk to me about Jared. Innocuous stuff about how they're fans of him too, or whatever.
Dealing with that while being abused by him was excruciating. I needed to tell people what happened to escape this.

I'm aware that Jared believes, and had told many people, that I'm abusing him. That's his justification for cheating on me. But the logic is flawed because even if I AM the worst person in the world, it's still his responsibility to break up with me instead of banging other girls That said, I begged to know what I was doing that hurt him, so I could fix it. He could never give me actionable feedback. He couldn't point to any of my current behaviors that needed to change. I spent every day desperate to please him while he gave me the silent treatment.

It's also true that he has been soliciting nudes from his fans for years. I was there. In the beginning, it was a joke on tumblr. Then it was its own tumblr account just for nudes. It was ostensibly a body-positive space for consenting adults, and I approved on that basis. It kept escalating secretly. He started a Snapchat, for getting nudes from fans, without telling me. I found out via a fan comment. I felt pressured to allow it even though I was uncomfortable.
Anytime I gave him an inch, he took a mile.

In recently learned that my husband @ProJared has been fucking @HollyConrad behind my back for months. I have no idea what announcement he just made because he blocked me. I have proof. Explicit conversations and photographs of their relationship, which he extensively lied to me about on many occasions. He was promising me that he was committed to our relationship at the time, and promising her he was breaking up with me.