Thread by @ErinLThomasPhD

This is a thread about how something as simple as a blowout can be traumatizing for someone with "textured" hair.

So, I wanted to treat myself for once. I decided to try out @theDrybar for a blowout. I had previously researched them - as any Black woman with natural hair would - and sure enough, had read that they service all textures.

@theDrybar Fast forward to my online scheduling. The website has photos of women sipping champagne and living their best lives. Yes! That will be me. I made an appointment in Lincoln Park, which is the ritzy north side of Chicago, and just knew I'd be taken care of.

@theDrybar As my 4-year-old says, "Yay me!"

@theDrybar I still had the wherewithal to add the requisite disclaimer to the notes section when I confirmed the appointment: "I need a stylist who's skilled with black natural-texture hair (chin-length). Thank you!" I'm not foolish enough to surprise a salon with my texture.

@theDrybar I know that notice is needed. In the past, I've been turned away from appointments that I scheduled on foot and have even had stylists quit mid-treatment even after having had a consultation.

@theDrybar So, I trek up north today during my babies' nap time. Windows down, feeling myself. I walk in all cheery and the receptionist tells me to make myself comfortable. I will indeed!

@theDrybar My stylist comes out and mumbles that I should follow them. They don't introduce themselves or say my name but they're black so #winning? I ask if there's a place to hang my coat - I wore my fanciest wrap jacket to fit the #treatyoself theme.

@theDrybar My stylist motions to a bench without speaking. Mmmk.

@theDrybar I follow them to the shampoo bowl and it's, um, not the best experience. Was that the mud mask I'm paying for? How long was that scalp massage supposed to last b/c that can't be it?

@theDrybar I'm not feeling comfortable but I'm trying to keep it positive and basically ignoring all signals that this won't end well.

@theDrybar I sit in the chair and my stylist struggles to find an instrument that will make it through my hair. They spray a shitload of nice-smelling products everywhere but my hair is basically just air drying.

@theDrybar It's a struggle and I do the delicate dance of staying aware without wanting to insult or spend the calories confronting. The "blowout" ends and I can't see myself, but - as someone who gets blowouts every 2-3 weeks - it doesn't feel like any heat actually hit my hair.

@theDrybar Before the flat iron comes out, I decide to ask for water. Cue the explicit nonsense.

@theDrybar My stylist calls out to the receptionist and the two of them argue back and forth over whose job it is to get me water. My stylist takes care to tell me the receptionist's name, as if to arm me with the details I need to complain.

@theDrybar This is the most animated my stylist is for the entire appointment.

@theDrybar Things are devolving but I find myself stuck. I'm exhausted and was trying to do something for myself and try to stay optimistic about my hair, though -foreshadowing - that was foolish.

@theDrybar The flat iron comes out, my roots sizzle with virtually every pass, I share that my scalp is still wet, my stylist says it's the product "cooking off", I persist, they pull out the blow dryer. It's a perfumed burnt hair shit show.

@theDrybar But I still keep a glimmer of hope b/c all I wanted was to reward myself and maybe this is like the movies and ill spin around to a whole new me and I don't have the emotional capacity to be disappointed and...

@theDrybar Welp. Here’s what I asked for. Or, better yet, here’s what I took the initiative to request because I was never asked...