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Currently writing a tale about the riot trail / Fmr Vid Director @dailycaller / vid ed @levintv / desk monkey @nbc / ME history, Arabic, philosophy @georgetown

Nov 22, 2019, 7 tweets

THREAD: We did a report investigating #fartgate

WARNING: What we found may SHOCK YOU

In part one, @VinceCoglianese debunks the sliding mug theory, which was posited by many prominent fart deniers:

@VinceCoglianese In part two, we interviewed an *anonymous* source who suggested that Chris Mathews may have perpetrated the fart heard 'round the world:

@VinceCoglianese In part 3, we used advanced technology supplied by Project Fartitas to demonstrate a BOMBSHELL DISCOVERY:

Some of the most prominent American politicians have been FARTING IN THE PUBLIC EYE FOR DECADES:

@VinceCoglianese For anyone who might question the rigorous scientific methods we used to draw our conclusions, look no further than @VinceCoglianese who spent an entire work week sliding mugs and listening to farts:

@VinceCoglianese FACT: Politicians have been secretly sniffing their own farts for decades #fartgate

Folks, THIS IS THE POLITICAL SCANDAL OF THE CENTURY

@VinceCoglianese AS UPSTANDING JOURNALISTS, WE ARE THE PURVEYORS OF TRUTH. THIS IS OUR ANTHEM:

@VinceCoglianese For any politicians or news anchors who suffer from excessive flatulence while speaking to the American people, you don't have to worry. Fart Buddy™️ has your back:

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