Christie's is auctioning off antiquities from the collection of James and Marilynn Alsdorf (christies.com/SaleLanding/in…). Here are some of the more "...you bought that?" lots, starting with...this.
We are informed that this is a Roman bronze panther. Funny, I would have said a camel with constipation of unprovable origin but maybe that's just me. christies.com/lotfinder/anci…
Here's a supposed Roman table leg, "based on" Lysippus' sculpture of Silenus cradling the infant Bacchus, preserved in a Roman marble copy in the Louvre. christies.com/lotfinder/anci…
Sure, this is the same as that. No difference. They're both unholy middle-aged babies about to have their faces gnawed off.
Someone please buy this supposedly Roman horse so we can take it out behind the barn and put it out of its misery. He'll never run another race again with that leg, Timmy. christies.com/lotfinder/anci…
Art student: "I'm so crap at carving faces."
Teacher: "Humm."
Student: "And hands? Forget it!"
Teacher: "Have you considered a career in antiquities forgery?"
christies.com/lotfinder/anci…
This supposed Etruscan statue is NOT AMUSED.
christies.com/lotfinder/anci…
(Also - Etruscan? That's not where I would have aimed the dart on the "pick a random attribution" board.)
https://t.co/yyOYML0Kdm
And another great questioning look at tool marks from @PortantIssues: paul-barford.blogspot.com/2020/04/christ…
Christie's has finally re-posted the lots in their current antiquities sales, so let's take a little look at which ones lack a pre-1970 provenance, shall we?
1980: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (and also: whhhhaaaaaaaatttt even is this thing? keep its tiny mouth away from me!)
1987: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (and we are not even trying on the details here).
1973: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (looking like a Jean Cocteau drawing).
1983: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (looking like she's posing for a stock photograph of a therapist).
1978: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (do panthers have hoofs?)
1973: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (what a smug stag).
1974: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (this dopey horse needs to form a comedy act with the smug stag, above).
"Said to be" 1971: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-…
Is it just me, or does this supposedly Roman antiquity being auctioned by @ChristiesInc look like Barf, John Candy's character in Spaceballs?
1985: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (good think there's absolutely no way that this is a piece of 19th century bric-a-brac! nope, just not possible.)
1973: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (is that three babies in a trench coat, I mean toga?)
1973: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (how is she supposed to walk in that?
1976: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (also: #mood)
1988: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (and this hare will f*ck you up).
1991: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (not how muscles work but whatevs).
1989: onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-… (also, come on).
Wow. Apologies for this thread getting so long. I started tweeting as I was going, but then it turned out that 38 of the 61 lots lack a pre-1970 provenance. Just... wow. I'm going to end with a couple more objects that have ok provenance, but are... special.
Is it a thing to have colored shadows/contouring on Roman mosaics for nipples/breasts? Asking for my job. God, I love my job. onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-…
I'm going to line right up for pay tens of thousands of dollars for this thing that the Met threw out! onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-…
And I'll sign off with this confused Hercules. So confused. onlineonly.christies.com/s/ancient-art-…
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