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May 29, 2020, 22 tweets

#kacchakoday thread post idea by @katschako !

Prompt: Explodie-O's!
Word Count: 779

#Kacchako #kacchakothread

“LORD EXPLOSION MURDER EXPLODIE-O’S IS THE BEST FUCKING CERIAL ON THE MARKET—“

“CUT!!”

“HA?!”

Ochako pressed her fingers to her lips, eyes blown wide and chest tight from holding in her laughter.

Her husband repeatedly kept changing the lines to the cereal brand he was being paid to advertise. It was an idea from his PR manager. Something that would make him a little more ‘kid friendly’ now that he was about to become a father himself.

Feeling a kick in her lower belly, Ochako stroked her swollen lump and giggled. “Oh, dear…”

“Bakugou-san…We’ve been over this. We are not calling the cereal…They’re just called ‘Explodie-O’s’.” The director was exhausted and they’d only been filming for just under an hour.

“Well, why the fuck not??” Katsuki spat.

“Because we can’t. You also can’t swear on television.”

Katsuki furrowed his brow. “Bullshit. I swear all the time on those talk show things.”

Ochako bit her lip.

He also never watched them to know how often they had to ‘bleep’ out his words and how many scenes had to be cut. She wondered if she should propose giving Tsukiko-san a raise for everything she put up with…

“Did you even read the script?”

Digging his finger into his ear, Katsuki rolled his eyes to the ceiling and shrugged. “I skimmed it.”

Good lord.

“I’m just saying good shit about how my cereal is better than everyone else’s. It’s not fucking rocket science.”

The director opened his mouth, thought better, and closed it before pinching his temples. “Okay. Okay. Let’s try this again, only this time, try to be a little less aggressive and a little more kid friendly. Think…”

his eyes drifted over to Ochako and his expression softened to a small smile. “Think about how you would talk to your own child.”

Katsuki’s shoulders relaxed as his eyes also fell on Ochako. She smiled back at him and waved.

With a nod, Katsuki returned to the set and picked up the box of cereal with little circles in the shapes of explosions and a cartoon version of himself holding a bowl of said cereal.

He looked directly into the camera and waited for the light to flash and the thumbs up before saying, “EXPLODIE-O’S!”

Loud and his voice had a natural growl to it, but that was to be expected.

“THEY’RE PACKED FULL OF HEALTHY NUTRIENTS TO MAKE YOU WEAK LITTLE PIPSQUEAKS STRONG!”

Ochako had to step away.

“SO QUIT YOUR FUCKING BITCHING—“

Her hand slapped over her mouth as she doubled over.

“—AND EAT YOUR GODDAMN CEREAL AND MAYBE YOU’LL BE A FRACTION AS AWESOME AS ME!”

“CUUUUUT!!!!”

Ochako lost it.

Her sputtering laughter drowned out the woes of the producer and who was very close to pulling all of his hair out after this.

———

Two months later, Katsuki paced the living room with his son in his arms. Ochako hummed from the divider separating the kitchen as she did dishes. In the background the TV was playing as the show they were watching faded into a commercial.

“You kids are going to love this new power-packed cereal!”

Katsuki turned toward the tv, eyes widening as he caught his commercial airing.

“Explodie-O’s are packed full of healthy nutrients to help you grow big and strong, like me!”

His head cocked to the side, eyes narrowing.

He let out a huff of air, tongue clicking. “I don’t know what that producer was talking about,” Katsuki threw his free arm toward the TV, bouncing his son with the other. “I sound fucking fine!”

Ochako nodded her head. “Yes, dear.”

“So, come on future heroes! Try your Explodie-O’s today!”

Katsuki held his son close, angling him toward the TV as the cereal flashed one more time. “See that, Yoshiki?” He asked.

“That’s daddy’s cereal and it’s the only fucking cereal you’re ever going to eat because it’s better than all that other shit on the market.”

Ochako turned around and grabbed the dish towel, quietly shaking her head.

He still didn’t realize they had to recycle all his old footage and voice over him with a new dialogue that was more ‘viewer friendly’.

She quickly sent a message to his PR manager, thanking her once more before she grabbed a bottle out of the fridge.

“The only thing he’s going to be eating for a while is milk and baby food,” Ochako giggled, walking out to go take her son.

Katsuki had a thoughtful look on his face as he passed their son over to her.

“…Maybe I should do a commercial for baby formula next.”

“Yeah.” Ochako patted his arm. “Maybe.”

💥🍡DONE💥🍡

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