Thread by @YehudaKrohn

A Modern-day Midrash:

When the Rabbis were ready to share their Minyan Guidelines:

They first offered them to the foodies: “What, no Kiddushes? This is not for us!”

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photo credit: Levi Clancy; unsplash

Then they offered them to the insomniacs: “What, we have to commit to attend for several straight days? Not for us!”

Then they offered them to the ADHD congregants: “What, no walking around and Schmoozing? Not for us!”

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Then they offered them to the Carlbach Chevra: What, no getting up out of our chairs? Not for us?

Then they offered them to the Chassidim: “What, no singing? Not for us!”

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Then they offered them to the Yeshivish crowd: “What, no Davening out loud? Not for us!”

Then they offered them to the Rabbonim: “What, no Derashos? Not for us!

Then they offered them to the women: “What, we have to wear masks? It’ll ruin our lipstick! Not for us!”

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By then, all that was left was the men who Daven early, so that their wives can come to Shul later… and they accepted the guidelines, because, up until now, they’ve Davened quickly, without singing or sermons, and have bolted when Minyan finishes.

The End (almost)

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Joking aside, the new Minyan guidelines have meant that most of us are giving up something, as we return to Shul. May our choice to return (and adhere, as best we can) bring about the return of Hashem’s Shul – the Beis Hamikdosh – speedily and in our days.

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