My wife sent me to the store to pick up a dozen Sprites, but I picked Seven Up instead.
#DadJokes
/1
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
“Between you and me, man, something smells!”
#DadJokes
/2
What do you call a short psychic who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
#DadJokes
/3
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
#DadJokes
/4
Why do you think “Civil Disobedience” was such a fantastic essay?
Thoreau editing.
#DadJokes
/5
Why was the nun’s cellphone bill so high?
She was a Roamin’ Catholic.
#DadJokes
/6
The defendant is accused of putting a stick of dynamite into a steer.
A bomb in a bull!
#DadJokes
/7
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De caffeinated.
#DadJokes
/8
Why didn’t the invisible man take the job?
He just couldn’t see himself doing it.
#DadJokes @HeathLambert
/9
/10 https://t.co/SIn1cnP2Q5
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