Thread by @PGeeman

1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 305 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr. & Mrs Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word.

2. Last time, we discussed the topic: “Kuku Kill Me: Dealing with Domestic Violence” Missed it? Catch up here bit.ly/3iOMeOo #MrMrsBetterHalf.

3. Our topic of discussion today is “Soul Ties: Dealing with Negative Emotional Connections”. #MrMrsBetterHalf

4. First, please note that a soul tie is not demon possession or some other negative spiritual occurrence; it is an emotional bond or connection that unites you with someone else. #MrMrsBetterHalf

5. Soul ties are not inherently spiritual. Yes, emotional bonds can lead to spiritual bonds but they are not of themselves spiritual. Also, contrary to popular opinion, soul ties are not only formed via sexual intercourse. #MrMrsBetterHalf

6. Yes, sex is possibly one of the easier ways to establish a soul tie, but it is definitely not the only way. Soul ties can also be formed through close friendships, vows, commitments, shared experiences, hero-worship, etc. #MrMrsBetterHalf

7. Soul ties (emotional bonds) can be either positive or negative. So a soul tie can be a very good, desirable thing. God will and has strategically brought good people into our lives with whom we can or have formed healthy soul ties. #MrMrsBetterHalf

8. Many of us have friends that we love deeply and fondly call ‘brothers or sisters from another mother’. David & Jonathan in the Bible is a good example of friends who had a strong but healthy soul tie. #MrMrsBetterHalf

9. So, it is possible to have healthy soul ties with your family members, friends, spouse, children, mentors etc. It is great when your heart is knit with people that matter and who will do you good in life. #MrMrsBetterHalf

10. Should you have a healthy soul tie with your spouse? Yes! It is great when the souls of a couple are knit. It makes your relationship better, your prayer life better, your parenting better, your intimacy better etc. #MrMrsBetterHalf

11. Go ahead and pray that God knits you and your spouse’s hearts together in love. That’s His desire for you. #MrMrsBetterHalf

12. However, with every good that God designs for our benefit, the devil tries to corrupt it for our downfall. The devil wants us to have unhealthy attachments to people that can lead us on a path to unhappiness and destruction. #MrMrsBetterHalf

13. Let me share a true-life story. There was a lady who was in a relationship with a guy that I’ll call Charles. She bragged to all her friends about him. #MrMrsBetterHalf

14. As an undergrad with a boyfriend who had a job and his own apartment, she really seemed like one to be envied. Charles paid her a visit one day and saw a male classmate of hers in her room who was there to return her notebook. #MrMrsBetterHalf

15. After the classmate left, Charles attacked her in the presence of her roommates. To their shock, he started beating her right in front of them! They shouted for help. #MrMrsBetterHalf

16. Charles stopped, ordered her to meet him in the car park and stormed out. Guess what? She followed him! Her roommates begged her not to go, but even with her wounds, she said she loved him and couldn’t be without him. #MrMrsBetterHalf

17. In fact, she was so paranoid that he would leave her she pushed her roommates away as they tried to restrain her. This is one of the many stories of people whose experiences defy logic. Why couldn’t she dump him? #MrMrsBetterHalf

18. Clearly, she was suffering the effects of an unhealthy attachment to her abuser. She had a strong soul tie. Charles himself had obsessive jealousy over her that was also bondage for him. They both needed deliverance. #MrMrsBetterHalf

19. You may have never been in a situation as dramatic or with someone as controlling as Charles, but soul ties are real. Many of us outgrew unhealthy ties with our peers, but the ones from romantic relationships can be tough to break. #MrMrsBetterHalf

20. Do you have a bad soul tie? Here are 3 straightforward indicators of an unhealthy soul tie in your relationship. a) Confusion. You cannot seem to decipher what is right or wrong anymore. #MrMrsBetterHalf

21. Your friends keep telling you he/she is bad for you, but you can’t seem to see it for yourself. b) Misery: You are constantly in a state of great distress or discomfort of mind or body. Laughter is a foreign entity. #MrMrsBetterHalf

22. c) Torment: Your mind is constantly tormented. Peace has evaporated. Sleep is elusive & you are emotionally jittery. When a relationship directly violates God’s word, and you can’t stop yourself, you’re in an unhealthy soul tie. #MrMrsBetterHalf

23. So, let’s break these 3 points down into more recognizable questions. Do you feel you must always agree with your partner (spouse, boy/girlfriend, fiancé) even when he/she is clearly wrong? #MrMrsBetterHalf

24. Are you constantly gripped with a crippling fear of offending your partner? Has that made you very docile? Do you have a mind of your own? Can you decide confidently & independently without fear or insecurity? #MrMrsBetterHalf

25. Would you be completely destitute (both emotionally and financially) without your partner? Is your partner irrationally jealous and possessive? Does he/she monitor your every move? Your money? Your friends? #MrMrsBetterHalf

26. Single guys, there is nothing romantic about a girl who stalks you, threatens other girls and is always clinging to you. Single ladies, there is nothing romantic about a guy who insists on accompanying you everywhere you go. #MrMrsBetterHalf

27. A boyfriend should not determine where you eat and who you can eat with. That’s not love; that’s bondage. Couples, make no excuse for a spouse that is unnaturally possessive. You are God’s first before his/hers. #MrMrsBetterHalf

28. If your spouse infringes on God’s territory as concerns your health, wealth and wellbeing, it is a bad soul tie. If your spouse won’t allow you to worship God and you choose your spouse over God, you have an unhealthy soul tie. #MrMrsBetterHalf

29. Are you in a physically abusive relationship but you keep telling yourself that he/she loves you? Do you find yourself making excuses for him/her? That your spouse is ‘spirited, passionate, or cares too deeply’? #MrMrsBetterHalf

30. Please note that someone who has fits of jealous, uncontrollable rage and hits you can one day kill you. Does your partner humiliate you often? Do you feel emotionally drained around him/her? Does he/she scare you? #MrMrsBetterHalf

31. Can your partner separate you from your family, friends, church, or job just by his/her words or show of disapproval? #MrMrsBetterHalf

32. Does your spouse bully you in the bedroom? Making you do things that you find abhorrent? Does your boy/girlfriend lure you into sexual behaviour even though you want to obey God but can’t seem to resist? You have an unhealthy soul tie. #MrMrsBetterHalf

33. By the way, you can have unhealthy soul ties with people outside your relationship that affect your current relationship. Is there a guy or lady that you are consistently thinking about? One who you unconsciously dress for? #MrMrsBetterHalf

34. Is there someone you have inappropriate feelings for and you call it a harmless crush? Or a mentor, authority figure, TV personality, movie star etc. whose word is the law for you? #MrMrsBetterHalf

35. You may have an unhealthy soul tie even if the other party is completely unaware of it. If you are single and you have an unhealthy soul tie to your boy/girlfriend or ex, you need to take a step back, evaluate and deal with the issue. #MrMrsBetterHalf

36. I will conclude this discussion next Friday. If in the interim you want to share your thoughts/experience about this, I’m eager to hear from you. Just drop me a line. #MrMrsBetterHalf

37. Until then, thanks for following, participating & RTing. May your marriages & relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf