Guy Benson Profile picture
@FoxNews Political Analyst | @GuyBensonShow Host | @dcexaminer Senior Columnist | @PremiereSpeaker | @NorthwesternU alum. 🇺🇸

Jul 18, 2020, 11 tweets

Ok, Twitter — pull up a chair, and buckle up for a wild, bizarre, hilarious story...

Have you ever heard of an online catfish scheme that actually and totally *worked,* in every possible way? I had not, until I found myself strangely in the middle of the following scenario...

A @GuyBensonShow listener named Michael DM’d me on Instagram (@guypbenson) a few weeks ago asking for a favor. I’m not typically inclined to entertain such requests from total strangers, but the backstory was irresistible...

Years ago, Michael’s cousin Alyson had a big crush on her very close friend, Dylan. She was stuck in the friend zone & frustrated. Michael hatched a scheme to invent a new love interest in her life, with the goal of making Dylan jealous & shaking him from his romantic slumber.

She is uncomfortable with the plan but Michael forges ahead with the creation of a fictional character: “Ryan Stevens.” He crafts a backstory about how Ryan and Alyson had met & needs a photo to match. He literally googles “generic white man”...

And on the very first page of the image results was this dashing young man:

(lol at this, btw, especially given the fact that I’m wearing the ubiquitous gingham @jcrew shirt that every generic white guy owns. It’s my ~2011 headshot)...

So there’s “Ryan.” Michael & his brothers set out spreading the fake rumor & it gets to Dylan. He’s now aware of real (and very dreamy!!) competition. His deep feelings for Alyson bubble the surface due to this urgent situation, and he finally gets off his ass & makes a move...

They start dating. Ryan is promptly discarded like a bad habit (💔), as if he never existed (indeed, he did not). Eventually, the truth is revealed to Dylan: “Ryan” was a ruse. A catfish-type ploy that worked flawlessly. This becomes a running joke w/in the family/friend group...

And next Friday, Alyson and Dylan are getting married. Relatedly, they went semi-viral with a cute “news update” video about the unpleasantness of planning a wedding during a pandemic: bostonglobe.com/2020/05/05/nat…

So Michael — who did NOT know who the generic white man was at the time — is now a Fox viewer & a fan of my radio show’s podcast (free! ). As the wedding approached, he was thinking back on his chicanery & it suddenly dawned on him that it’s me in that pic.Guypbensonshow.com

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