Thread by @PGeeman

1. Hello and welcome! It is episode of 309 #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr. & Mrs. Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word.

2. Last week, we discussed “Can married and single people be friends?” If you missed it, catch up here wakelet.com/wake/Lb6rEA8Ng… #MrMrsBetterHalf.

3. On today’s episode, we are discussing “How do you make new connections when you're isolated and lonely? Not too long ago, some single friends confided in me about how they were having a rough time dealing with loneliness. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

4. And this is valid especially with the coronavirus pandemic and its attendant lockdown and social distancing in different parts of the world. This has a huge impact on singles, especially those that live alone and are not dating. #MrMrsBetterHalf

5. Discussing with my single friends, I realized that many singles don't even want to admit they're lonely because they feel embarrassed. People make them feel like it is their fault for being alone & lonely. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

6. So, ladies hear comments like, ‘it’s your fault for being too picky’ and guys hear, ‘stop delaying! Go and get married!’ Here's one thing that many people either don’t know or have chosen not to believe - married people get lonely. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

7. The truth is, though marriage can help to curb it, it's not a cure for loneliness. You can be lonely even when married. e.g. if you’re going through a rough patch with your spouse, you can feel disconnected, which leads to loneliness. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

8. Loneliness is an emotion that people encounter in those moments when they feel isolated or disconnected. That’s why you can be single but not lonely if you have vital connections. #MrMrsBetterHalf

9. So, I’m saying that it is not automatic that being alone should equate to loneliness. Loneliness often has more to do with your emotional state than whom you're with. That’s why you can be lonely in a crowd. #MrMrsBetterHalf

10. Sometimes loneliness comes with being in a new territory- a new job, new school, new house, new state or country. Loneliness is not something that one should be ashamed of, but it isn’t something that one should accept as the norm. #MrMrsBetterHalf

11. When loneliness is protracted, it can lead to feelings of desperation, which engenders bad decision-making. Some people have married the wrong spouses or had affairs or one-night stands in a bid to combat loneliness. #MrMrsBetterHalf

12. Many vices and addictions have been borne out of feelings of loneliness and the desperation to connect. Research shows that many people who join gangs do so to be a part of a group. They just want to belong. #MrMrsBetterHalf

13. Research also shows that people who committed or attempted to commit suicide felt terribly lonely before doing so. We're all created for connection; it’s vital to our health & well-being so don’t allow loneliness fester in your life. #MrMrsBetterHalf

14. Whoever you are - single, married, introvert or extrovert, if you're constantly feeling lonely, this episode is for you. Now singles, while it is good to marry, the lack of a spouse or mate is not the only reason you are lonely. #MrMrsBetterHalf

15. The truth is, if you’ve never been married it means you have always been single. So, why is loneliness plaguing you now? Is it only because you’ve come of age? Or could there be other factors involved that you’ve overlooked? #MrMrsBetterHalf

16. Like I said earlier, there are people who have no spouses but are not lonely because they are vitally connected. Loneliness is primarily a connection problem and we can connect emotionally in different ways. #MrMrsBetterHalf

17. So, answer this first question honestly to combat loneliness: ‘why am I lonely?’ Here are some common reasons: (a) Many times we feel lonely when there’s a disruption in our lives or routine. #MrMrsBetterHalf

18. A single friend of mine once went through a terrible season of loneliness when her best friend died. That was understandable - but she also had to do something about it. She had to make new friends! #MrMrsBetterHalf.

19. If you have experienced disruption, the big question today is what are you doing about it? Did you move to a new city? Get plugged in to the social activities. Join a church, a society or club and meet people. #MrMrsBetterHalf

20. Did you get a new job? Make friends with your colleagues. Choose a new one each week and invite them for lunch. Did you quarrel with your best friend? Makeup! Don’t let malice stand in your way of having healthy connections. #MrMrsBetterHalf

21. (b) For some people, it might be a weakness in their personality type. People who identify as melancholy are often introverted and usually love their own company. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

22. This, however, could be disadvantageous because you still need to be connected. You still need to love and be loved. If you identify as an introvert or as one who’s melancholy, still be deliberate about making connections. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

23. You don't need to have dozens of friends; you just need to have a few people who fill your emotional bucket. It may also surprise you that some extroverts also get lonely. This is because popularity does not equate intimacy. #MrMrsBetterHalf

24. Extroverts or sanguines, you must be deliberate about developing deep and not shallow relationships. If you don't, there will be moments when you need to share your heart and the only people around are acquaintances. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

25. You cannot share matters of deep relevance with fans. You need true friends. (c) Sometimes the company you keep amplifies loneliness. Do the people around you tolerate or celebrate you? #MrMrsBetterHalf

26. Every year, people quit their jobs more because they don’t feel valued and less because they wanted more pay. It’s been proven repeatedly that job satisfaction goes far beyond money. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

27. In fact, many people will take a pay cut to work in an environment they consider healthy, peaceful and supportive. This is similar to whom you are hanging out with. Do you feel important or relevant to your friends? #MrMrsBetterHalf.

28. Do they care about your life? Are they vital, positive parts of your story? Are they there for you in a crisis? As difficult as it may be, be bold to quit the company of people who don’t appreciate you & find other people that do. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

29. The interesting thing is, people are still making new friends and making vital connections in this season through interest-based online groups in the church and otherwise. #MrMrsBetterHalf

30. If you are not willing to go out much yet, it’s okay to find your tribe and belong to a community of like-minded people. #MrMrsBetterHalf

31. One of those new connections may or may not lead to a relationship but you’re sure to meet people who will challenge you to be better, business partners, travel buddies in future and essential find a solution to loneliness. #MrMrsBetterHalf

32. One failsafe way to make new friends is to be helpful. Be willing to serve others - you'll make new friends in a flash. Try serving in your local assembly, a charity drive or a community project. A generous soul is always attractive. #MrMrsBetterHalf

33. (d) Sometimes loneliness is as a result of the state of your spirit. You were created to have a relationship with God. The truth of the matter is when your heart is far from God, there'll be a yearning in your heart that no man can fill. #MrMrsBetterHalf

34. No spouse, no friend, no child or parent can take the place of knowing that you love and are loved by God. If you are listening to this and you are far from God, I invite you to start a relationship with Him today. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

35. All you need to do now is block out all distractions and speak to Him. You could say something like this: “Heavenly Father, I know that you created me and you want to have a relationship with me. #MrMrsBetterHalf.

36. I acknowledge that you sent Jesus to die for me and I know that I have been far from you. I want that to change. I want us to have a close relationship and I ask that you come into my heart and fill it with your love. In Jesus name. Amen!” #MrMrsBetterHalf.

37. If you spoke to God just now, get a bible, and you can start out by reading the book of John. Also, find a church that teaches from the bible about Jesus and become a part of it so you can grow. #MrMrsBetterHalf

38. I invite you to join us online @elevationng and you can also join us online at 6.30pm WAT on Wednesdays & from 7am WAT on Sundays at onlinechurch.elevationng.org or youtube.com/TheElevationTv #MrMrsBetterHalf.

39. I hope this has been helpful. I will be back next week with another topic. Till then, thank you for following, participating and RTing. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! MrMrsBetterHalf.