Can we all agree that ‘functional training’ is a euphemism for still being able to tie your own shoelaces as you slide into 50? God, this is depressing
I’m really not very functional, apparently. Ugh
Seriously, I hate all this cross-fit stuff. It’s depressing. It really makes you feel washed out. I’d rather run
So I did: strava.app.link/KrmR1FJkS8
Here we go again. Wow. All these mobility exercises are actually pretty tough. All this ham and spinal twisting makes you feel like a grandmother who can’t get out of a recliner. Very humbling
Seriously, I miss the 80s, when everyone sat around the gym in knee-high Dad tubesocks pretending to bench. That was way easier.
Wait, this gets worse? What the hell are ‘commando planks’? Planks are bad enough. Good grief.
How about some hill repeats instead? At least I know what that is: strava.app.link/ZOsZqrsWU8
So I’ve completed a week of ‘functional training,’ and my conclusion is that I’m, um, dysfunctional.
Pretty sure my wife and my dean would concur with that assessment.
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