Thread by @PGeeman

1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 312 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr and Mrs BetterHalf is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word.

2. Last week we discussed, ‘We love each other and want to get married but his finances are a mess! Do I walk away, or do we marry and maintain separate accounts?’ Get it here wakelet.com/wake/n1mkoj8KQ… if you missed it. #MrMrsBetterHalf

3. Today, we are looking at the topic: “Ambition is not the monster”. There are several misconceptions around relationships and money – one is that “Finances are often problematic when the wife earns more”. #MrMrsBetterHalf

4. We know that anyone hardly earns millions on their first job, so if a woman has accumulated substantial wealth, then she must have invested time and resources in building from the ground up. #MrMrsBetterHalf

5. And this brings us to another myth – “some women are too ambitious! If they would just ‘chill’ things would be okay”. This statement begs many questions: should a wife deliberately go for a low-paying job to avoid earning more? #MrMrsBetterHalf

6. Should she perform poorly to ensure she doesn’t get promoted? If she’s offered a raise, should she refuse? Should she not pay attention to her personal finance just so she doesn’t intimidate a potential suitor or even her husband? #MrMrsBetterHalf

7. We may think these things sound silly, but these are actual options some couples have considered in their homes. Sometimes, the man actually starts out earning more, but life happens & his business/career slows down & his wife’s business or career accelerates. #MrMrsBetterHalf

8. So the once ‘balanced’ household turns upside down because the woman now pulls most of the financial weight. Why should money (something so many seem to be chasing) become the very thing that can cause unhappiness? #MrMrsBetterHalf

9. There are 4 things I would like you to consider today - changing times, culture, acceptance and attitude. (A) Changing Times: Men, the days when women in the workplace were oddities are now behind us. #MrMrsBetterHalf

10. Thanks to the realization of a woman’s right to express her intelligence, the world has made much progress. Also with advancements in technology, many of the more physical jobs have been taken over by machines. #MrMrsBetterHalf

11. This means that there’s no reason women should be sidelined on the grounds of being physically weaker than men. Today there is hardly any industry you will not find women doing remarkable things. #MrMrsBetterHalf

12. As a result, it is not uncommon for husbands and wives to earn similar salaries or have the wives even bringing more. The truth is that most men like the added household income - they just want to earn more than their wives. #MrMrsBetterHalf

13. This becomes an issue of self-esteem and ego. You can’t derive your complete sense of self from money. Many men think being a man is all about bringing in money. It takes a lot more than that to be a real man. #MrMrsBetterHalf

14. Different things make a man a man. They include the ability to provide, lead, protect, nurture and love. Men, you must bring more to the table than just money to be an exemplary head of your household. #MrMrsBetterHalf

15. (B) Culture. In the past women were homemakers while men barely lifted a finger in their homes. As a result, women became skilled in people & money management, multi-tasking, negotiation skills, etc. #MrMrsBetterHalf

16. You’d think that keeping a woman in the house would incapacitate her in the business terrain, but you’d be wrong! Women develop the soft skills required for top tier management quite early in life! #MrMrsBetterHalf

17. Coupled with formal education, a woman who truly wants to succeed in business is a force to reckon with. Perhaps we should look at how we raise our sons these days. We might just be doing them a disservice! #MrMrsBetterHalf

18. (C) Acceptance. As a man, I understand that one’s ego can take a pounding if your wife earns more. Single men dating ladies that earn more often vow to themselves that they will turn the financial tables around. #MrMrsBetterHalf

19. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen. Sometimes a woman’s gift will shoot her to the peak of her profession. What will you do? Will you kill yourself trying to earn more? Will you resent her success, or accept it? I've come to know a certain truth: #MrMrsBetterHalf

20. As much as it might be your preference, who earns more is not your call. Everyone has a race to run. God has blessed everyone with a unique gift. You cannot determine the extent of another person’s potential. #MrMrsBetterHalf

21. Guys, when you court a lady, look beyond her looks, and determine her inner ‘horsepower’. There are ladies who are incredibly brilliant, driven, and ambitious. You can tell they are loaded from the onset. #MrMrsBetterHalf

22. Such people tend to have a light shine on them and often end up in the public eye doing great things. You don't marry someone like that and try to cap her - you will kill her spirit, kill the marriage or kill yourself. #MrMrsBetterHalf

23. Remember that your wife also wants to die empty. She wants to achieve all God created her to achieve. Your responsibility is to give her wings to fly. Be a real man; a secure man. Manage your ego and support her. #MrMrsBetterHalf

24. Also be self-aware. Some men simply do not have the temperament to manage a high-flying woman. If you know you have the tendency to be jealous of people’s progress or be competitive, marry wisely. #MrMrsBetterHalf

25. If you don’t think you can cope with a successful woman, please don't marry one! Don’t cause problems! Don’t make your home a battleground. In a marriage, both partners should cheerlead and urge the other to victory. #MrMrsBetterHalf

26. (D) Attitude. Sometimes some husbands try to be supportive, but the attitudes of their wives make it very hard. I have already addressed the men on attitude - build your self-confidence and be supportive of your wives. #MrMrsBetterHalf

27. To the women, don’t get it twisted: the man remains the head of the home. Don’t let money get to your head. Cultivate a gentle, quiet, and humble spirit. Money will always amplify who you really are. #MrMrsBetterHalf

28. If you are sweet, compassionate and respectful, you will continue to be regardless of how much you make. If you are crass, rude and disloyal, money will just make that more apparent in your home and cause problems. #MrMrsBetterHalf

29. Do you lord the fact that you earn more over your husband? Do you seize the reins and make the big decisions without an agreement on both sides? If you keep cutting down your husband because you earn more money, you pull down your home with your hands. #MrMrsBetterHalf

30. Remember, marriage is a partnership. Your success is really “our success”. His support will help you become even more successful. Carry your blessing with decorum and give him the respect due to him. #MrMrsBetterHalf

31. A woman that sees God’s perspective when it comes to the marriage institution will not misbehave when blessed. God has chosen to bless your family through you. Be humbled by the blessing and obedient to God’s order. #MrMrsBetterHalf

32. Finally, to the ladies - be mindful of the company you keep. Be with people who will keep you grounded. To both man and wife: keep praying for each other’s success. God will cause joy to fill your home. #MrMrsBetterHalf

33. I hope this has been helpful to you. I will be back next week with another topic. Until then, thanks for following and RTing. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf