Thread by @swardley

X : Are you vaping?
Me : Yes.
X : It's unprofessional to vape in a meeting.
Me : I suspect that's a shibboleth.
X : A what?
Me : A dividing line between the digital natives and those who have never really felt comfortable about letting go off the office.

X : It's distracting.
Me : So is someone having a cup of coffee.
X : That's different.
Me : Ah, so you're arguing for "accepted norms". You invade the digital space and want it to conform to your idea of what are accepted norms do you? Try adapting.

... or maybe, we should demand suits and ties? Yes, my new boundary. If you're in a zoom meeting with me without a tweed jacket, check shirt, a pipe. plain white wall background, no guitar, no books and total conformity to my strict guidelines then you're unprofessional? Hmmm.

Or maybe, we reserve vaping for only those with the clout and prescence to do so.

A new social class - ... maybe I should start frowning on people I consider not up to the standing of the vaping class. I will call them - lesser mortals :-)

Alternatively, let us not try to reinforce symbols and rituals of social power and conformity in this space.

That's my nice way of saying, when online, I'll smoke when I like.

X : But I find it distracting,
Me : I find your face distracting, switch it off.
X : I can't help my face, it's part of me.
Me : Vaping is part of my identity, as much as the clothes I wear, the way I speak etc. If you don't like then simply leave.

I find it disturbing that people lack the civility to not ask someone, in their own home, to stop vaping and to link this to "professionalism". But it's the utter arrogance and lack of humility that makes a person think they are entitled to do this that I find most shocking.

This is an aspect of the change caused by the isolation economy that I hadn't considered before. There is a very different etiquette online from old WoW guilds to online developer meetings. It's a privilege to be invited into someones home even when it is for a zoom meeting ...

... the idea you would go to someones home and tell them how they should look or act and not expect a bloody nose would be surprising.

X : What if they pick their nose?
Me : It's their home, they're entitled to do this. Ditto kids running about, dogs coming into the room, even cats (the spawn of the devil) wandering past or parcels being delivered ... you're being invited into a person's home. Respect it.

X : "professionalism" is regularly used as a way to police marginalized people.
Me : Insightful. The attempts to expand "social" power beyond the office and into the home. It's like the attempts to create status within online meetings - designed background, studio equipment etc.

X : You often raise your hand when wanting to ask a question in zoom.
Me : Yes. Most of the time.
X : But you even do it when you're the host.
Me : Of course. It's rude to interrupt guests and you should avoid it where possible.
X : But you could mute people.
Me : Oh dear.