Thread by @kateneuropsych

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD Ya know when ever my kid said no, and stomped her foot or some such, I'd smile (genuinely)lean down pull her up as I stood up fully, here face at my face level, eye to eye with her legs dangling in the air, and say, "DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH BIGGER I AM THAN YOU LITTLE GIRL?" 1/

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD cause it tickled me pink that she'd even try dat. There's nothing like the physical sensation that YOUR BODY RECOGNIZES of who youre up against to turn the conversation. That she had the guff to "try me" I thought was terrific and DID NOT WANT TO SQUASH THAT OUTTA HER. It's a 2/

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD hard world out there and shes gonna need every once of that guff. So when she'd look down after getting I was so much bigger I'd say, since we gotta do this, or since you don't wanna do that WHATS YOUR SOLUTION? If it was a valid/solid, we did that, or tried that to see if it 3/

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD worked, if not, it was, "you got 3 minutes to get it together on the inside to do what we gotta do on the outside."

I'd also say
1) While a single mom, I only had one child
2) My life was centered around rasing her even at our poorest (which was a steady variable) so it was 4/

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD not about my timing and what I wanted it, was about the time she needed to grow!
In other words my life WAS SLOWED DOWN TO MATCH HER GROWTH NEEDS. I was not struggling to speed her up. The world was gonna do enough of that! 5/

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD That in and of itself took a lot of the stress off me that I see a lot of other parents taking on!
And
3) the last thing I'd say was I did not relate to her in stages, I just related to her as she was and tried to identify the underlying "talent or ability" she was displaying 6/

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD that was currently TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL (because remember to master ANYTHING YOU FIRST GOTTA MAKE A MESS) and help her shape how she was responding so she could get control of that and harness it for good, for growth.
7/

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD That's it, plus a lot of humor and love which y'all no doubt have for your own kids
Best advice out of all three SLOW IT DOWN, think it through and don't let your kids make you unhappy, it will make them unhappy and feel like a burden even if that's not how you really feel. 8/

@LillianRSims @JerrySoucyRN @AlexAndersonMD Kids are funny, they feel everything is their fault cause they were there. Once we grow up NOTHING IS OUR FAULT. Responsibility is a good medium to strike here.
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