Thread by @mrhenrymorris

An extract from The Tempest.

ACT V. SCENE I. Before PROSPERO'S Kentish cell.

Ye elves of Bills, trucks, standing queues and Goves,
And ye that on Kent’s edge with printless tyre
Do await permits to continue trade
That was already free; you hauliers that

1/5

By moonshine do the Swanley ring-roads block,
Whereof the Stobart frights; and you whose pastime
Is to make Serco profits, that rejoice
In tender-less processes; by whose aid,
Weak masters though ye be, I have bedimm'd
Democracy, seen off rational minds,

And 'twixt the Dover strait and Kentish vault
Set roaring war: in the dread rattling blunder
Have I given fire and rifted Gove's stout oak
With his own bolt; the Ashford lorry park
Have I made quake and by Broadstairs, clogged up

Sheerness and Dover: Gravesend at my command
Has waked its truckers, oped, and let 'em forth
By my so potent art. But this stuff tragic
I here abjure, and, when I have required
Some no Deal Brexit, which even now I do,

To work mine end upon your senses what
This sovereignty is for, I'll break my staff,
Bury it certain fathoms below M2,
And deeper than did ever Thanet sound
I'll drown my book.

With many thanks to @JoeKao23 for his breathtakingly patriotic performance.