Effie Seiberg wants you vaxxed,boosted, & masked Profile picture
SFF/middle-grade fiction writer. Strategy/marketing consultant. Dadjoke teller. Doggo fan. Sentence-fragment lover. #MECFS She/her. Repped by @samroebuck

Sep 25, 2020, 13 tweets

Are you having a day full of grumps? Time for some Very Lorge Bears

Time to intro the contestants in this year's #FatBearWeek
from explore.org/meet-the-bears

This is Chunk (32). You'll note Chunk is Very Hefty and has eaten the entirety of the salmon species.

This is Grazer (128)

Grazer has done an excellent job this year. Just look at that gut! It's filled with success!

This is Walker (151)

Walker is SO ROUND. Lookit that sphere of a booty!

This is 402. She's too shy for a full name, or even a body shot. It's ok 402, nobody's gonna pressure you until you feel body-positive enough on your own.

This is Holly (435)

Holly is a CHONKER. Look at that brilliance in bear performance! Such glorious fat folds! Truly she is going to be hard to beat.

It should be noted that Holly also had a spring cub, who's pretty round but nowhere near its mamma's majesty. It's ok little cub, you can do even better next year.

This is Otis (480)

He is LORGE and IN CHORGE and don't you dare try to take over his swimming hole. Everyone's gotta duck when he cannonballs in!

This is 719, a young adult bear who doesn't have a name yet. Be proud of her for being in the running for #FatBearWeek, even if she's the underdog. Or underbear.

This is 747, as in size-of-a-747.

That roundness goes in ALL DIRECTIONS and the silhouette is more blimp than airplane. Well done, 747! It takes dedicated training to eat as much as you have in prep for winter.

This is 812, and ngl when I first saw this pic I thought it was of 2 separate bears. THAT'S HOW BIG HE IS. LIKE THE SIZE OF A BEAR THAT ATE A WHOLE NOTHER BEAR. Definitely a contender.

This is 856.

He's got a good pear-shape going, towards that ideal lightbulb-esque bear form. Do you wanna pat that round bear bottom cuz I totally do

This is 909. She knows she's round but not yet sufficiently lorge, which is why she's standing at the top of this waterfall, just waiting for more fish. You can still do it, 909! Get chonky!

Voting for your favorite lorge bear for #FatBearWeek starts on the 30th, at explore.org/fat-bear-week

You can also learn more actual facts about these bears at explore.org/meet-the-bears

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