If you use news websites then you will already be familiar with the 12 step process for reading a news article online. If not, I've summarised them below.
Please follow all steps carefully and don't skip any...
Step 1: accept cookies.
Step 2: close the window thanking you for accepting cookies.
Step 3: wait for text and images to load as if it was 1998 and you were on dial-up.
Step 4: close pop-up videos that you never wanted in the first place.
Step 5: close news notification pop-ups, as your phone already pings nineteen times a minute due to Twitter notifications.
Step 6: close requests to install apps as you have no memory left on your phone after your last WhatsApp update installed itself.
Step 7: close window notifying you that you are reading the article for free. You didn't come here for a guilt trip.
Step 8: close window requesting you to register to read more articles. You haven't the mental stamina to remember any more passwords.
Step 9: close window opened by accidentally clicking on sponsored content when closing other windows.
Step 10: close breaking news pop-up, as three other pre-installed apps you can't delete have already told you the same thing.
Step 11: carefully scroll through other sponsored content links that have pushed paragraph two of the news story halfway down the page (take care to avoid step 9 again).
Step 12: when you've finished reading delete all browser cookies, meaning you have to go through all these steps again when you read another article.
News costs, and pop-ups are the price you pay for information.
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