Ahhh, the "Proud Boy."
The self described "alpha males" of society.
To become a "Proud Boy" requires cereal, tickle fights, loyalty, and the ability to strictly adhere to the group's Constitution and Bylaws.
However, as happens in all facets of nature...
occasionally the alpha-ist of alphas must take disciplinary action against a "brother" in order to have an example to present to the rest of the group, the consequences for failing to act like a sheep and fit in.
Study this species of Sacramento Proud Boy, found in the...
beautiful land of California.
Note the cast on each hand.
This species is often referred to as #WankerPB. Their hands are often found in the vicinity of their genitalia.
Punishment for the inability to adhere to Article VI, Section 3, Subsection (g) *aka* "No Wanks" is...
delivered in secret fraternity fashion. Joseph Biggs leaves his own mother's basement and takes up residence at the offending #WankerPB's mother's basement, displacing the wanker, and learns her dress habits, speech habits, and drinking habits.
On the night of the...
#WankerPB's punishment Biggs impersonates her while jumping up and down the offending #WankerPB's masturbating hand.
This Sacramento species of #WankerPB must be a rare ambidextrous wanker, hence a cast on each hand.
The jumping continues until the punished wanker can...
name 36 of his great-great-grandfather's favorite breakfast cereals.
If said great-great-grandfather was historically known to be a wanker as well, 72 of his favorite cereals must be named.
After the required amount of cereals are named Biggs ceases to jump anymore...
brotherhood love is reaffirmed, and the #WankerPB is taken to the closest emergency room where the police are called and the entire incident is blamed on a shadowy force known as "Antifa."
The ritual is carried out with precision and outlined in great detail within...
Article V, Section (6) *aka* Discipline Of Members of the Constitution and Bylaws... including the exact amount of cocaine and Miller High Life to be consumed.
Trailer park methamphetamines may be substituted for cocaine, if desired, but Miller High Life may NOT be substituted.
The punishment serves many purposes.
First and foremost, it associates the #WabkerPB's genitalia with his mother and Joseph Biggs... often leading to the #WankerPB to never look at his genitalia again, let alone touch it.
It reinforces the core Proud Boy tenet of...
never accepting responsibility and always blaming the shadowy "Antifa."
This tenet, however, is often difficult to achieve due to Proud Boy Chairman Enrique Tarrio's unmanageable addiction to snitching to the feds before "Antifa" can be properly blamed.
Thanks for joining...
us on the week's edition of "Meet A Proud Boy - #WankerPB. The Proud Boy Species Aiming To Literally Take Fucking Around And Finding Out To New Heights."
Join us next week as we scour the urban jungle for, and discuss, the most common and sheep-like Proud Boy species on...
Next week's edition of "Meet A Proud Boy - #CuckoldPB. The Proud Boy Species Who Enjoy Watching Their Venerated Housewives Pleasure Three Percenters, Oathkeepers, and Patriots."
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