Thread by @XiranJayZhao

ALL RIGHT WHO WANTS TO SEE ME SUFFER FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT & EDUCATION

BECAUSE HERE I GO WITH EVERYTHING CULTURALLY RIGHT AND WRONG WITH MULAN II (2004), THE THREAD:

Disclaimer: Culture is subjective so some of what feels "off" to me is gonna be personal opinion as a single Chinese person, but a lot will also be pointing out factual errors like them trying to write hero 英雄 but the 雄 is missing its whole right half???

ANYWAY the movie starts with George Takei praising Mushu for helping save China in Mulan 1998

just a fun fact but the scepter he's holding is called a ruyi, a Buddhist symbol of power that possibly originated as a backscratcher. you see it a lot in Chinese buddhist art.

....why is Mushu even getting treated like an emperor for barely helping in Mulan 1998? Why do the ancestors have to let him STEP OVER THEM now??

Why? What would happen to them if they refused to listen??

IT MAKES NO SENSE

not even gonna bother with the las vegas lights. it's just the style of anachronistic joke Disney liked to do in this era.

have fun bathing in old people spirit spit, Mushu

NGL I genuinely liked how pretty this ink brush style opening sequence was though. I'd even say it was done better than the original Mulan one.

Grandma appears to be doing I Ching divination, which requires 3 coins. But you don't PUT the coins in any particular place, you're supposed to flip them 6 times to derive a hexagram depending on how many heads and tails you get in each flip

more info: wikihow.com/Consult-the-I-…

oh and the sticks suggest she was also doing Kau Chim? which is where you put ~100 sticks in a bucket, each with a number on it, and shake one out while asking a question. then you look up what fortune the number indicates.

The page she's holding just lists the numbers 1 - 20. 9 is what's circled. We can only guess how this relates to her betting pool 😂

why is mulan's dad betting against his mom anyway? that implies she has her own money to lose...which she wouldn't?? this is ancient china? she's his MOM?

ALL OF HIS MONEY IS HER MONEY, LMAOOO

Rakes WERE a common weapon in ancient China. I mean, what else is a peasant gonna grab during the bicentennial farmer's uprising?

obligatory mention of Zhu Bajie and his signature 9-toothed rake

not necessarily something that *needs* to be represented in English, but in China it's super rude to call someone of a higher social status by their full name. this kid would be more likely to say Mulan-jiejie (Big Sister Mulan) instead

lol i actually liked this Lesson Number One song and the message it sends. too bad this movie itself didn't learn this lesson.

THEN OUR LOCAL BISEXUAL LEGEND LI SHANG SHOWS UP IN COOL ARMOR

helmet is likely anachronistic tho because the earliest example of this type of phoenix wing helmet is from the late Tang dynasty, a solid 300+ years after the era Mulan is supposed to take place in

Mulan era armor would look more like this:

(though the pic is from early Tang)

"what is this modern western nonsense??"

- me, watching this movie at age 12

CONGRATULATIONS FA ZHOU YOU HAVE ROBBED YOUR MOTHER OF WHAT LITTLE PERSONAL SAVINGS SHE MANAGED TO COLLECT AS AN ELDERLY WOMAN IN ANCIENT CHINA

OH MAN YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST THING ABOUT MUSHU IN THIS MOVIE IS

HE'S NOT VOICED BY EDDIE MURPHY

HE'S VOICED BY MARK MOSELEY, A SOUNDALIKE...WHO IS WHITE

mushu can you PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY

HOW WOULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT MULAN WOULD HAVE TO JOIN HER HUSBAND'S ANCESTRAL TEMPLE ONCE SHE MARRIES

what is this modern western nonsense, part II

NO, MUSHU

IN TRADITIONAL CHINESE WEDDINGS YOU DON'T GO ANYTHING BUT RED & GOLD

STRAIGHT UP BLINDING, TACKY LEVELS OF RED & GOLD

that is, in fact, not what the scroll says

you know what it says??

GRASS RADICAL, GOAT, MOUTH, EARTH, KING, PERSON, SUN, I, NO, TWO, BOAT, THREE, INNER, AGAIN-

actually i'm pretty sure the seal script on the steles are nonsense too because the leftmost and rightmost ones are straight up copy and pastes of each other

shang i love u but shut the fuck up. only the person with the uterus gets to decide.

woooow mulan and shang are so different. one likes blue and the other one likes pink!!!

What's accurate here is that Mulan's mom would indeed refer to Mulan's dad's great-great-grandparents as her own. they probably don't literally have the same biological great-great-grandparents. otherwise...um

Surprising though that Shang got the yin half (associated with femininity) while Mulan got the yang half (associated with masculinity)

i always knew they were a queer couple

every comment on r/relationships

lmao i'm kidding. most of the relationships on there absolutely need to be broken apart.

damn what the hell happened to the imperial capital between Mulan 1998 and Mulan II 2004

y'all downsized??

WHY ARE THE MONGOLS INVOLVED WITH THE NORTHERN WEI DYNASTY NOW

IM WEEPIN

no, Shang, they will not. they will lose to the Mongols. like everybody else.

it's okay, nothing to be ashamed of. they were the Mongols.

OHH!! CANON CONFIRMATION THAT THIS IS THE NORTHERN WEI DYNASTY!!

YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME AND MY HISTORICAL JUDGEMENT NOW, MULAN II

FIRST OFF, THEY'D NEVER ACTUALLY CALL THEMSELVES THE "NORTHERN" WEI LOOL THAT'S A TERM USED BY HISTORIANS

THEY'D JUST CALL THEMSELVES THE GREAT WEI

AND U KNOW WHAT?? GRANDMA HAD A CALENDAR THAT SAID IT WAS THE YEAR OF THE FIRE RABBIT

WITH THE CONFIRMATION THAT THIS IS NORTHERN WEI (386-534), I CAN CONCLUDE THAT MULAN II (AND PROBABLY MULAN 1998 BY EXTENSION) CAN ONLY TAKE PLACE IN THE YEAR 427 OR 487

BAM!!

oh and in case any of you weren't sure - no, Qui Gong was not a real country. I have no idea if it's supposed to reference a real country.

I mean Lord Chin is a possible reference to the First Emperor of China...but why?

fun fact, China (or the 3+ dynasties in China then) actually did lose to the Mongols because they were too focused on taking out local enemies (even allying WITH the Mongols to do so) and didn't ally against the Mongols until it was too late

Mulan, is pic 2 you

u know you've grown up when the adults in Disney movies make way more sense than the protagonists

(historically, China does in fact have a tradition of making marriage alliances with northern nomad tribes to keep them from attacking)

ALSO since this is confirmed Northern Wei, the emperor's yellow robes are probably inaccurate because the first emperor to be recorded to have worn yellow as an imperial color was Emperor Wen of Sui, at least a hundred years later

WHAT THE HELL IS THE GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY

THE CHINESE GOD OF LOVE AND MARRIAGE IS YUE LAO, THE OLD MAN UNDER THE MOON, WHO CONNECTS LOVERS WITH THE RED THREAD OF FATE

NOT EVERYTHING CHINESE HAS TO BE DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS LMAOO

me @ 99% of the dudes who try to flirt with me

the knowledge that these 3 incels will hook up with the 3 princesses by the end of this movie makes me extremely angry

please do not ever assume the service workers are into you

please stop

the poly trio that SHOULD'VE happened

the hairstyles and shoes of the princesses (and the background characters in general)...surprisingly accurate actually

Mulan seriously why does this surprise you...you were fully ready to go into an arranged marriage of your own at the beginning of the first movie

aww emperor is at least a little sad about it

u know what tho? many cases of marriage alliances in Chinese history didn't even use real daughters of the emperor. more often they just chose some random palace girl and was like "ok emperor adopting you, you're a princess now, go"

Honshu pass...why are y'all passing the main island of Japan

Mushu why are you like this now i cry

how come every travel montage through an Asian country needs to have a shot of them passing by a farm being worked on by a female farmer

MULAN IT IS LITERALLY THE HAPPINESS OF 3 PRINCESSES VS THE SAFETY OF YOUR ENTIRE COUNTRY

THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR LIBERAL FEMINISM

shut the fuck up immediately i am begging

(China doesn't refer to itself as "China." We say Zhongguo, "Middle Kingdom"...which this movie also uses later on??? can we have some consistency????)

what sort of incel fantasy plotline is this

girls when reaching for reasons to explain their shitty relationship:

Ting Ting is the only princess with her head on right. Shame it didn't last.

why do their meal rations look more like the offerings you'd leave at your ancestral altar than food for travel

if i were Ting Ting i would've executed him for this

oh boy if you're gonna be eating pomegranates in a carriage, it's gonna be a MESS

(though, fun fact, pomegranates are actually an auspicious fruit for Chinese weddings, because the seeds allude to having lots of children asdf;ljds)

I mean....if your duty is to form an alliance to stop the Mongols from attacking your country and your heart is telling you to hook up with some guy you're only gonna know for 3 days...

Okay, here...Shang says they're going back on the road, but then it cuts directly to Mushu messing with him and Mulan fishing??

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO BISEXUAL LEGEND LI SHANG

okay NGL, this was genuinely adorable

I cannot believe we are going to have to cancel Li Shang, bisexual legend, for the surfacing of these photos

ok the way the visual gag of the bandage actually tangled into the carriage wheel and caused the whole thing to fall down a cliff?? the movie sure...did that

i cannot believe i was subjected to witnessing this dog play with my own two eyes by Mulan II (2004)

MULAN??? WHAT IS THIS LOGIC

WHAT IF THE NEAREST TOWN IS LIKE 5 DAYS AWAY

YOU HAVE LESS THAN 3

MULAN, THE SAFETY OF YOUR OWN COUNTRY IS AT STAKE, SHANG IS IN THE RIGHT IN THIS

WHAT IS IT WITH WESTERNERS AND THIS TIRED ASS JOKE

IT DOESN'T EVEN WORK IN THIS CASE, THEY'RE IN THE GODDAMN WILDERNESS

WHAT HAVE THE WRITERS OF THIS DISNEY-FORSAKEN SEQUEL DONE TO MULAN AND SHANG, QUEER COUPLE OF LEGEND

The letter actually has proper Chinese on it, though it reads a little too colloquial (I'd change 实在不能 to 实在无法), and it never gets to the "my duty is to my heart" part. It stop at "I cannot complete-"

ah yes, instead of insisting that they are NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS, the princesses want to actively BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS. true revolutionaries.

Pillows in ancient China would not have been stuffed with feathers. They were hard and made of wood or porcelain instead.

.....y'all this was just straight up racist 😭

the toxic masculinity demon in dude's heads be like:

HOW DID THIS EVEN WORK

DOES MUSHU HAVE SOME UNEXPLAINED HYPNOSIS POWERS

i would like to sue this movie for emotional damages for what it did to my boy Li Shang, bisexual legend

you know what, everyone in this movie sucks so much that this is actually valid advice by this point

once again, that line never ended up getting written on the letter, lol

this Fu Manchu mustache is also kind of racist 😭

OKAY SO....ATTILA'S REIGN WAS FROM 434 - 453

ASSUMING THAT GOSSIP ABOUT THE SHIT HE DID IN EUROPE ACTUALLY MADE IT TO CHINA, WE CAN REMOVE 427 AS A POSSIBLE YEAR FOR THIS MOVIE

BASED ON CANON EVIDENCE, MULAN II DEFINITIVELY TAKES PLACE IN THE YEAR 487 CE

ahh.... bodily harm is what finally makes Ting Ting crack

You know...if this movie was realistic, this actually would've been an amazing ominous reference to a Chinese saying that refers to something illusionary: "The Flower in the Mirror; the Moon in the Water."

MULAN ARE YOU KIDDING ME

HOW IS IT ANY BETTER THAT THESE PRINCESSES ARE HOOKING UP WITH THEIR GUARDS, WHO THEY'VE KNOWN FOR LESS THAN 3 DAYS

SHANG'S ANGER IS 100% JUSTIFIED TBH

THESE 3 ABSOLUTELY ABUSED THEIR POWERS IN AN EXECUTION WORTHY WAY OUT OF THEIR DESIRE FOR THESE SHELTERED PRINCESSES AND I HATE THAT THIS MOVIE ACTS LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE

OH NO MULAN IT'S EXACTLY AS BAD AS IT SEEMS

you know, if the plot wasn't completely asinine, this actually would've made a really interesting conflict for a Mulan sequel

EXCUSE ME??? LI "FOUGHT WITH YOU FOR THE WHOLE CLIMAX OF MULAN 1998" SHANG DOESN'T TRUST HIS HEART????

why is there a takeout container here...why........

Mushu, horrifyingly selfish for this whole movie so far, suddenly cracks out of guilt????

IDK MULAN, YOU TOLD SHANG HE DIDN'T HAVE A HEART WITH YOUR OWN MOUTH

OMG MAYBE DON'T YELL THE PRINCESS PART THAT LOUDLY WHEN BANDITS ARE DROPPING IN ON Y'ALL

okay, genuinely liked the art direction of this scene

THIS SCENE TOO...goddamn why couldn't the script have been better

it makes me sad to think that so many people must've put so much work into this universally hated movie

damn...it really took Shang's (perceived) death to wake y'all up to the fact that you're on a mission to ensure peace for your country, huh

HOW DID SHANG SURVIVE THAT FALL

DOES HE ALSO HAVE UNEXPLAINED MAGIC

what's with Disney's insistence on putting these impossibly huge calligraphy scrolls in throne rooms??

omg i messed up the thread

there were a few tweets I commented in the replies of previous ones, but they're not too important so I'm gonna pick back up here

the turtle shells clearly reference oracle bone divination, but it would've been out of use for 1k+ years by this era

omg, movie finally refers to China as the Middle Kingdom

I think it's because they want to keep it ambiguous as to whether Qui Gong is also "China"?

???? WHAT ABOUT THE TWO OTHER PRINCES

but his crown doesn't even use jewels tho

please shut the hell up about the Golden Dragon of Unity asfl;dkjsdfl Yuelao is weeping

does this movie realize "Chinese finger traps" aren't actually Chinese

it's one of those things that got the label of Chinese slapped onto it just to make it seem more Exotic and Confusing😒

HOW DID ALMOST DYING MAKE YOU COME TO THIS CONCLUSION

WHAT ABOUT THE ANTI-MONGOL ALLIANCE

yeah because THE GOLDEN DRAGON OF UNITY IS NOT A THING

mad at how much I love Mulan's wedding outfit

I think her crown may be based on the Song dynasty empress crowns, though Qui Gong may not be China so I'm not counting it as anachronism

NO THE FUCK HE DOESN'T

WHY DO THE BACKGROUND CHARACTERS IN THIS SHOT LOOK RACIST AS ALL HELL

WHY DID SHANG JUST THROW A SHURIKEN

SHURIKENS ARE JAPANESE

PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS MOVIE

THIS IS A DIPLOMATIC DISASTER

THE ONLY EXPLANATION IS THAT SHANG LOST ALL HIS BRAINCELLS DURING THE FALL

definitely not behind you, because that is clearly a stone lion

WHAT ABOUT THE MONGOL INVASION, SHANG!!!!!!

i'm so tired. please someone set me free from this movie.

why is everyone just bowing when their king is outright prostrating?????

i want everybody to remember that these lines are being said in a fake Blaccent by a white man

after all that shit that just happened in this movie...how could you say this with your own mouth

WHY ARE THE PEOPLE OF QUI GONG CHEERING AT BECOMING AN INTERNATIONAL EMBARASSMENT

what is this modern western nonsense, part III

OKAY SO...WHAT ABOUT THE ALLIANCE??? IS THAT GONNA HAPPEN OR???????

WHAT ABOUT THE A L L I A N C E

(also...is this a dirty joke...)

i wish i was never born to have had to witness this moment

OK SO this is a calendar page for the New Year!!

The year after Fire Rabbit is Earth Dragon. It should be 戊辰, not 辰末, but timeline wise, this confirms that Mulan 1998 took place in the same year as Mulan II, since they're only a month apart

MULAN 1998 TAKES PLACE IN 487!!!

WHO MAKES THESE PROMOTION / DEMOTION RULES

Why is Shang putting a plaque for his uncle Li Gang, not even his parents, into Mulan's ancestral temple?????

HOW???? HOW DOES THAT WORK???? WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE IN HIS FAMILY??? HOW ARE ALL THOSE LINEAGES SUPPOSED TO COMBINE WITH MULAN'S???????????

THAT'S NOT AN EXPLANATION

ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS PROPERLY, GEORGE TAKEI

WHY IS SHANG DRESSED KIND OF ACCURATELY LIKE A CHINESE GROOM (though not accurate for this era) BUT MULAN'S JUST WEARING A FLOWER CROWN????

Shang...you could've just joined HER family temple instead and not made this mess, you coward

and that's it. that was Mulan II. my suffering is over. i am finally free.

ah. i see. these are the people i can blame for the torment i just sat through.

if you want to help me pay for therapy after this movie pls preorder my book Iron Widow, a Pacific Rim x The Handmaid's Tale reimagining of China's only female emperor, out Sept 21 from Penguin Random House

buy links: ironwidow.com

Goodreads: goodreads.com/book/show/5245…

omg i just realized I accidentally broke the thread here adslfk;jasdf

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