Thread by @WhatTheTrans

CN: Cis dominance of trans identities & defining our needs

Lots of cis people regularly do the above. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Here is a thread of examples from my life so you understand

And remember, I’m a trans woman. Compared to non-binary folks I’m lucky

My first GIC appointment:

Was told I wouldn’t get HRT unless I came out to my father. Family I was out to were against me ever coming out to him. I had to choose, risk crossing my family, or medicine.

The clinic needed this to see “commitment” from me

My word wasn’t enough

Telephone banking:

Online bank authenticator had bust. Called for a new one. My voice ‘didn’t fit the profile’ (wrong pitch). Fraud team locked the account. Tried to tell them there was a note on my account to avoid this issue. They didn’t believe me

My word wasn’t enough

NHS:

Gp surgery, after 6 years as F reverted my files back to M. They said they couldn’t fix it. NHS said only the surgery could fix it. Was told “I get mistaken for a man, no big deal” by cis staff. After a year I quoted the equality act. They fixed it

My word wasn’t enough

Outed:

Came out to my cousin. Told her to not tell anyone until I could tell other family myself. She went on Facebook, found a picture of me in a dress and sent it to everyone. I found out 6 months later. When I challenged her: ” you clearly wanted it,”

My word wasn’t enough

It’s a slur:

Was called a tr*nny by a (now former) friend. I told her it’s a slur, and could upset people if she called them that. She told me I was wrong because she used to hang out with drag queens in Australia.

My word wasn’t enough

Party:

Approached by cis woman, she asked why I was in fancy dress. I wasn’t. I told her I was trans. She told me I wasn’t. I insisted, she laughed

She came back later crying. A friend had told her I actually was trans. I was forced to comfort her

My word wasn’t enough

Wedding:

The cousin who outed me was getting married. I wasn’t going to go

Her mum said if I was going I would need to go as a man. I challenged this, felt like a battle that needed having now before later. Told her I couldn’t do that. She said I could

My word wasn’t enough

Changing room:

Went to shop changing room. Cis workers freaked. I told them I was a woman. They didn’t believe me. They guarded me into a back room. They guarded the door. I told them this was humiliating. They suggested I was ungrateful

My word wasn’t enough

McDonalds:

I worked at a McDonald’s for a few months. Supervisor kept calling me Michael (not even my dead name). Told her it was horrible. She laughed it off, like it was nothing.

My word wasn’t enough.

‘Bants’:

At the pub a friend of a friend’s girlfriend asked if she could squeeze my breast to check if it was real. I said no, because it would be weird if I asked her. She grabbed my hand and put it on her breast. She grabbed mine.

My word wasn’t enough

Name change:

Had a nightmare housemate. Asked them to call me Michelle. They told me they would not call me that till I had changed my name legally.

My word wasn’t enough

GRA Application:

Applying to inform government of my gender. They want:

2 medical reports
1 statutory declaration
1 original birth certificate
1 Name change deedpoll
Evidence of “living in role for minimum of 2 years” (unspecific)

My word isn’t enough

Anxiety inducing:

(Now) former friend doesn’t want to be seen in public with me. Says he is scared to be seen with me. I say this is fucked up. Other friends say I was wrong to take it personally. “He has anxiety” they said. I tried to explain the obvious

My words aren’t enough

The debater:

Another former friend (I know, at a certain point it’s on me) refused to stop debating my status as a woman because he found it ‘interesting’. I told him to stop. He refused until I stopped talking to him for a month.

My words aren’t enough

Every level of society does this. It’s a whole thing.

Cis people, there is one very, very easy way to avoid doing things like this.

When we say something about ourselves or talk about our needs and experiences - believe us.

If you can’t do that, shut the fuck up.

@ChickswithDhat1 You have no power here. Your words mean nothing.

So keep going if you like. But you will be wasting your time.

Your boos mean nothing. I’ve seen what makes you cheer.