Tomi T Ahonen Moved to Post, Spoutible & Mastodon Profile picture
Author, consultant, motivational speaker. Biggest social media slut in mobile. A mAd vidiot, F1 fan, globetrotting digital gypsy 007 wannabe. The T Dawg

Aug 5, 2021, 5 tweets

Benefits of Basic Brown Level Trump Card

20% discount on free parking at Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lots

Free travel insurance to Thigh Land

10% discount on all purchases of Trump Steak *

Priority booking at Trump Shuttle *

* Currently not available

#TrumpCard

Benefits of Silver Level Trump Card

Box Seats at New Jersey Generals home games *

Priority boarding at Trump Shuttle *

Free travel insurance against all forms of Windmill Cancer

Complimentary copy of latest issue of Trump Magazine *

* Currently not available

#TrumpCards

Benefits of Gold Level Trump Card

Complimentary breakfast covfefe at Trump Casinos *

Lounge access at Trump Shuttle flights *

Free insurance against 5G **

3 credits at Trump University *

* Currently not available
** Not the 5G tech. This is Bee Gees tribute band

#Offical

Benefits of Religious Level Trump Card

Free insurance against either of the two Corinthians

Free Course 'Saudi Bone Saws & Jesus' At Trump Univ *

Priority access to hangings of Mike Pence

Complimentary bottle of Trump Water *

* Currently not available

#TrumpCards

Benefits of Platinum Level Trump Card

Free insurance against magnetims in blood

6 credits at Trump Univ *

Priority access to legal advice by Rudy Giuliani **

Complimentary buffet breakfast at Trump Casino *

* Currently not available
** Pending law license renewal

#TrumpCard

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