Thread by @garius

Help.

I'm stuck.

Have booked the day off work. It was the only option.

I blame @BecksBiochemist. She must have left the patio door open downstairs.

He's just sitting there. He knows exactly what he's doing.

I think this is his revenge for us feeding little stray kitty.

Got a delivery due at 11am. Can't really get next door to accept it.

"Hey. Please could you watch for my parcel? Your cat walked into my house and has trapped me in bed."

He's just sitting there, purring to himself. He knows exactly what he's doing, and he's very pleased with himself. The devious little floof.

I can hear little stray kitty downstairs.

I'm trapped in some kind of kitty power play.

Tried to do the thing where you very slowly remove your legs while stroking the cat to distract them.

He bit me, then curled up into me legs further.

Well I guess this is my entire life now.

Tried to move again so he did this.

He's now periodically doing dramatic "woe is me. Nobody loves me." sighs.

Okay I think he's gotten too comfy and made a tactical error. Because he's actually fallen asleep.

Gonna wait until I hear snores then try again.

Actual snoozing is now underway.

While I wait for kitty snores, here are the horrific decals the last owners of this house thought would be a good idea in this bedroom.

We really need to redecorate.

"what shall we do with the ceiling?"

"How about a polystyrene firetrap?"

"GREAT idea!"

VICTORY.

Man 1 v 0 Cat

You beat yourself, kitty. You beat yourself.

UPDATE

I have returned to bed for a post-lunch nap.

#notMyCat is happy with this unexpected development.

Woken up by someone's snoring. 🙄