Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #notMyCat

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Spare room prepped for new foster, for the next few weeks.

(We have to keep her entirely separate from Napoleon, obviously) Bedroom with assorted kitty toys on the floor.View of room with lots of comfy places for kitty.
Guest spotted!
Very young and small for her age. Managed to survive a pregnancy on the street, before being trapped and now neutered. Cared for lovingly by a fosterer before us. Seems more chill than Napoleon was.

Possibly an expelled kitten or stray, rather than feral.
Read 11 tweets
Well the paperwork is complete. This stupid floof is now officially our cat.

So it's finally time to give him his own thread.

Twitter: OFFICIALLY meet Napoleon.

Let's look at his nine month journey from a hungry, desperate feral to snuggly duvet monster. /1 worryingly skinny black kitty on a drivekitty happily curled up in the nook of my arm on a bed.
This is #notMyCat. He lives next door and has always regularly popped in (with his owner's permission) when his they are out and/or their house is on fire.

(Literally. I opened the door to him one day and as he strolled past, Heard alarms/saw smoke and rang the fire brigade) regal looking tuxedo kitty on the sofa.
In late July last year we noticed he was a bit annoyed. It soon became clear why.

Another, much smaller cat was following him around, in obvious love and awe. We christened her #alsoNotMyCat

This was amusing. What WASN'T amusing was when we realised how ragged/hungry she looked very skinny looking black cat.black kitty up against house window while not my cat is insi
Read 30 tweets
ZOMG

The start of a reluctant truce, hopefully.
Napoleon is in the foreground.

Max (#notMyCat) has very much missed his sofa jumper, and is doing his best to ignore the yowling behind him, which is a serious concession on his part.
Max has clearly had a long day and is 100% prepared to tolerate Napoleon's presence here if he will shut up for a bit and let Max jumper snooze.

Problem is Napoleon isn't very good at shutting up.

It's his dinner time though so gonna feed him upstairs away from Max.
Read 9 tweets
Late night drama. NotMyCat and Napoleon standing off against each other.
For the record:

#notMyCat went face to face with Napoleon who didn't move. Backed off and both accepted snacks. More staring. Then he came round the back of the chair and hissed at Napoleon who finally retreated upstairs. #notMyCat stayed at the bottom. Was picked up and put out
So...

POSITIVES: Napoleon stood his ground. This gave #notMyCat considerable pause for thought (as I've said before, he's a posh-boy playing street kitty and he knows it). Napoleon clearly still willing to be friends.

NEGATIVES: #notMyCat still not willing to share house.
Read 5 tweets
Well. Guess who is back from the vets with a clean bill of health and is surprisingly happy to be back?

Little Stray Kitty!

Or should I say: Little Stray BOY Kitty 🤯

Whether his love for #notMyCat is platonic or romantic, what matters is that he's happy and true to himself 🥰
The important bits: He's free of feline aids, leukaemia, and well... his balls now too.

No obvious issues with his leg or anywhere else. He's just missing his white front floof as they had to shave it for blood tests.

And really does seem happy to be back here, not there!
It also highlights (and you can see it in this vid) just how tiny he is for a boy cat. Poor thing definitely had his growth limited by how hungry he was.

Vet reckons about a year old.
Read 5 tweets
🚨🚨 Breaking Little Stray Kitty news 🚨🚨
She's still super nervous in the house. She'll perch for a moment in the enticing boxes with soft things in, then she'll spring up and be all:

"NOPE NOPE can't risk. Mustn't stay. Bye thank you 4 fud."

If this was an anime she'd be sad nervous lonely girl.

It's heartbreaking.
But hopefully we get there before the real cold weather kicks in. And we still need to find a way to get her to a vet so she can be snipped and health checked.

But this is progress. Slow. But progress.
Read 5 tweets
Help.

I'm stuck. Kitty curled up in my legs on the bed.
Have booked the day off work. It was the only option.
I blame @BecksBiochemist. She must have left the patio door open downstairs.
Read 17 tweets
OH MY GOD.

SHE'S SITTING IN THE BOX WITH MY HOODIE IN THAT I PUT BY THE DOOR FOR HER.

BRAVE LITTLE STRAY KITTY!

Snooze little kitty. You're safe here. Little kitty snoozing in the box
SNOOZING IS HAPPENING. Snoozing kitty
This has been slow work. She's so jumpy and scared. And she was so hungry when she first appeared in the garden.

It's been a few weeks now of just putting down a bit of food and kitty milk, then backing away and making it absolutely clear that she is welcome to have it or not.
Read 20 tweets
Trying to explain to #notMyCat that he just needs to talk to #alsoNotMyCat and say that he's flattered, but would prefer just to be friends. Tuxedo kitty sitting and looking a bit shy
I know, kid. But some of us just can't help being gorgeous. It's just a burden we have to bear. Even if all we really want out of life is snacks and warm duvets.

It's all just part of growing up.

You'll get used to it. Kitty on chair looking a bit haunted.
Christ. Whilst I respect his emotional anguish. This is worse than an episode of Dawson's Creek.

I can't say that to him of course. Kitty moping.
Read 11 tweets
There's a cat snoozing somewhere in this house but I've given up trying to find him.

He'll no doubt make his presence known to me at about 3am.
NARRATOR: The head boops came at 2:30am
CAT: head boop!
ME: I was sleeping
CAT: hence the head boop
ME: Fine. I'll let you out.
CAT: Scritch me first
ME: No.
CAT: Wait... this duvet is warm
ME: You're going out
CAT: ignore head boop. Gonna snooze here for a bit first.
ME: *picks up cat*
CAT: HALP! I'M BEING OPPRESSED!
Read 16 tweets
Should say that we almost NEVER get other cats in our garden. Only #notMyCat. That's why it's full of birds.

He's worked out that if he hides under the pond fountain for one hour a day, the other cats just assume he might ALWAYS there, and don't enter his territory just in case.
Of course, in reality, he's either sloped off back over the fence and is (presumably) curled up asleep in his actual house.

Or, if it's noisy over there, he's snuck in here (like today) for a snooze instead.

Absolute top level kitty grifting.
Of course sometimes it backfires on him. The other night I saw him jump out of his under-fountain pounce spot at what he assumed was another kitty, only to discover it was actually a fox.

BOTH animals instantly decided discretion was the better part of valour and legged it.
Read 4 tweets
Oh no.

He's "helping" again.
Now in stereovision.
Turned up, tried to eat my snacks, disrupted my work, now snoozing on his office chair.

Must be senior management. Sleeping kitty curled up on chair.
Read 5 tweets
HUGE thanks to the firefighters of @LFBWForest. Here in mins to put out a growing kitchen fire next door last night.

A reminder why smoke alarms matter. Heard theirs going off. Peaked over the fence. Saw flames. Made the call.

The LFB will fit alarms for you! Just call and ask! Fire engine and firefighter...
The downside is that #notMyCat stayed with us last night because of the lingering smoke smell.

And now he's nested in my legs and I can't get up. 😭😭😭 Kitty nesting in legs on a ...
He deserves a snooze though. He was pawing at the patio door, which made me take off my gaming headphones to open it, which made me hear the alarm, then smell burning outside and investigate.

Hero kitty!

(Although I suspect he was mostly on the prowl for evening Dreamies)
Read 6 tweets
Got home. Opened my patio door. Went to have a cold shower.

Walked out five minutes later to find #notMyCat snoring his head off on my staircase.

I'm guessing his owners have been out all day. #indoorNapsBestNaps 😂
He absolutely loves that particular stair for some reason. It's always that exact one, and never the sofas or chairs. Even when he pops in at night and snoozes on the bed for a bit, he will eventually get up and shift to that stair.

No idea why.
Position change. How is that comfortable?!
Read 3 tweets
"hai. It is me. They are hoovering next door. What are we having for breakfast?" #notMyCat
Last time he sat there he got attacked by one of my Koi.

Sucker for punishment.
Kay. I'm gonna go nap. Wake me when there's food.
Read 8 tweets
"hai. It is pissing it down and I noticed that your door was open." #notmycat
(l like having the patio door open when it's raining for the sound/smell)
Wondered where he'd gone.
Read 3 tweets
There are some big old bruiser cats in our neighbourhood, so I've been teaching #notmycat to fight like the Vietcong.

I think it's important for military historians to realise we have transferable skills.
It's important to be flexible on the battlefield though so I've made sure he's capable of digging in too.
Blitzkrieg tactics will have to wait until we get a Roomba.
Read 3 tweets

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