THREAD: How every model of the VW Passat series feels about how Brexit is going.
ORIGINAL 1973 PASSAT: Tells everyone "I can remember the early days of the single market" without elaborating. Currently out of fuel.
1981 PASSAT ESTATE: Has had the picture of Thatcher in that EU jumper as their Facebook profile pic since mid-June 2016.
Currently out of fuel.
1988 PASSAT: Certain that Brexit is great apart from at 3am where they have to share a bunch of pro-Brexit Facebook memes in order to get to sleep. Blames the fuel crisis on media hysteria, lazy lorry drivers and that one man with the jerry cans.
Currently out of fuel.
1993 PASSAT: Hasn't been home since July 2016 due to father's gloating at a BBQ. They almost reconciled at Christmas 2020 until the father referred to the Labour party as "your lot" in the family WhatsApp group.
Currently out of fuel.
1997 PASSAT: Gets up every morning to like every single Andrew Adonis tweet and comment "bring back Blair" under every BBC tweet about Brexit.
Currently out of fuel.
2001 PASSAT: Just says "no I'm sorry it's too stressful let's just talk about something else please" if anyone brings up Brexit around them. Secretly voted Leave because they used to find Boris Johnson "hilarious" and Leave was never gonna win anyway lol.
Currently out of fuel.
2005 PASSAT: Believes that, at the end of the day, Brexit doesn't affect them particularly and therefore is it really such a big deal? Didn't vote in the EU ref.
Currently out of fuel (but only coz of the pandemic which has been raging for 18 months IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED!)
2008 PASSAT CC: Voted Leave and has perfected doing a really really loud laugh over the top of anybody who expresses any doubt over Brexit, even if they're just on the telly.
Currently out of fuel.
2010 PASSAT: Has made hating Brexit their entire personality which has gained them a 40k-strong Twitter following. Canvassed for Lib Dems in the 2019 election but deleted all their "WE'RE GONNA WIN" tweets from the month leading up to that in January 2020.
Currently out of fuel.
2015 PASSAT: Said "no Brexit please, we're British" at a dinner party in 2016 and everyone laughed heartily and they've used that line a total of 86 times since and it's never garnered quite the same reaction.
Currently out of fuel.
PASSAT ALLTRACK: Claims they can spot "a Remoaner" at 15 feet. Currently on sixth Twitter account due to multiple bans.
Has three quarters of a tank currently coz they happened to buy a full tank the day before the crisis started and believe this to be evidence of their genius.
Thank you for enjoying this very sensible thread about how the Passats all feel about Brexit. You can encourage more of this behaviour at ko-fi.com/soozuk.
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