Thread by @VidyaG88

1/28

The Courage To Be Disliked is an extremely logic oriented look at happiness and life.

Snippets of it may sound patronising at times but it leaves you with more questions than answers - It forces you to think!🙂

Some takeaways via a 🧵..

#BookTwitter
#BookRecommendation

2/28
The world in itself is simple. Life in itself is simple.

It is WE who make it complicated.

How ?
By Comparison.

We all live in a subjective world that we OURSELVES have given meaning to from OUR perspective.

So how can then they be the same for all ? 🙂

3/28
Ever observed how the world seems beautiful at times , sometimes mean & selfish , at times helpful ?

So does the world actually keep changing or does our subjective world change due to the change in our projections ? 🤔

Something worth reflecting upon !
👇

4/28

Not everyone who has faced trauma / calamity as a child grows up to become a bad person.

We determine our own lives as per the meaning we give those past experiences.

WE decide HOW we live - In constant conflict or at peace.

How have you decided to live your life? 🤔

5/28
What differentiates us humans from machines is primarily the fact that we possess Emotions.

Each emotion is merely a tool .
It can be used effectively or in a detrimental way.

But then again , what is effective and what is detrimental is all subjective ,ain't it ? 🙂

6/28
Yes, CHANGE IS PAINFUL. Stressful.

Familiarity is comforting & it's easier to blame our misfortunes & environment! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ironically isn't a secure person (owing to the rigidity to change) the most insecure person for what would he be if this security were to be taken away ?

7/28
How many of us actually love ourselves the way we are ?

If not , what is stopping us from becoming the person we wish to be ?

Why do we build a realm of possibilities & shackle ourselves to it citing excuses galore ?

Why do we lack the courage to be ?

8/28

WHY do you dislike yourself / are unhappy ? 🤔

Is it because you choose to focus ONLY on your shortcomings ? ( Social Media does a fabulous job here ! )

Or is it because you are afraid of being disliked by other people & being distanced ?

Maybe a mix of both ? 🙂
👇

9/28

Being alone doesn't equate to being lonely.

Loneliness is having people around you & yet having that sense of being excluded !

But as human beings , we can't do without interpersonal relationships which are mostly the root cause of our problems.

Read to know more!
👇

10/28
Whatever we do , there is someone who has done it earlier , done it better , who has achieved much more than us , who is more successful than us ......
And then there is US ! 🙄🙆

Don't we all feel this way ?

Doesn't matter ! You are what you VALUE yourself worth.😇

11/28
But then is having an inferiority complex not good,even one bit ?

Definitely not !

One can use it as a Launch pad, a trigger for improvement & growth.

How well one confronts reality & reasons matter here.
Which ultimately boils down to our Courage to accept. 💪

12/28

My favourite.
LIFE IS NOT A COMPETITION! 🙂

It's enough to keep moving forward without competing with anyone or unnecessary comparison.

A healthy feeling of inferiority stems from comparing current self to one's ideal self.

For we aren't the same.But we are equals.

13/28
Once we accept that all are equal, but different,our way of perceiving things and people change.

Events don't become competitive anymore!

Inter personal relationships improve.
We are able to celebrate others happiness without envy.

We care genuinely.
We feel at peace!

14/28

We may be coming from toxic families .Had difficult childhood. Maybe traumatic adulthood, but we must learn to snap out of it instead of self pity & seeking revenge.

Seeking revenge does no one any good.

We lose the ability to make choices as our judgment gets clouded.

15/28

We often start disliking every single trait / action of our loved ones - be it friends , family or a spouse, suddenly !!

None of which bothered us before !

Now how is this possible ?
Maybe the problem is within us then ?🤔

Something to reflect upon
👇

16/28
" Freedom is Money. "

How far does this hold true ?
For money is certainly needed for happiness but is all happiness monetary ?

Do you realise then what robs you of your freedom ?

And how free are you exactly ?
For a lot of life's unhappiness stems from not knowing.

17/28
Don't we get upset when no one notices our efforts ? No one appreciates us ? 🙂

Why do we desire recognition from others ?
Is the purpose of our existence just to satisfy others' expectations ?
Why do we seek validation ?
Are we even being true to our inherent nature?

18/28
Can anyone change a person's life ?

Not really . No.
We can at most draw inspiration from someone , look up to someone .

But only we can change ourselves.

As they say, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". 🤷🏻‍♀️

19/28

Likewise one mustn't force their thoughts on others.

Most of our suffering stems from the fact that we want others to think the same way we do ! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Believe in Separation of Tasks , more so in family where there is less distance.

Lighten the load.
Make life simpler!
👇

20/28

It's a universal desire to be liked !

But then true freedom stems from being okay with being disliked by others.
We make our own decisions & be okay with society judging us.

But can we actually endure the brunt of this freedom ? Its true cost ?

The choice is ours. 🙂

21/28
Attachment to self .
Something really profound.

We wish to be thought well of by others, we are concerned with our well being aka being self centred.

We need to transition from "attachment to self" to "concern for others".

For we are not the centre of the world.

22/28
The concept of Horizontal Relationship over Vertical for all - Equal but not the Same.
Something that got me thinking.

Do we praise to indirectly manipulate or out of whole hearted gratitude ?

Buttering up our superiors to be in their good books or to network ...

23/28
Which brings us to Encouragement and Self Acceptance.

When one is building horizontal relationships there will be more straightforward gratitude & mutual respect , a feeling of Community.

Needless to say we become less judgemental of the other.

👇 Something Insightful

24/28
Thought provoking !

All human beings can be happy. But this doesn't mean all are happy.
The desire for recognition holds us back.
But without true freedom will even mere recognition help us be happy ?
If one is truly free , one will no longer crave for recognition.🙂

25/28
Why do we reject normality & celebrate being exceptional ?
What is so wrong about being average?

Being normal doesn't mean being incapable.Why flaunt one's superiority ?

Also, life is a series of dots, a series of moments called NOW.
We can only live in the here, NOW.

26/28

We cannot undo the past ,nor envisage the future . ( We like to think we can 😏 !)

The only thing we CAN do is earnestly live in the present !!

Yet all we do is regret the lost opportunities & keep planning for the future forgetting to live!

More details
👇

27/28
Life in general has no meaning.

Good people die soon .Children get killed in war. Natural disasters claim lives of so many.

Then how can life have any meaning in general unless we assign some meaning to it ?🙂

Each one of us shall have a different interpretation here.

28/28
We do not lack the ability.
We just lack the courage.
It all comes down to courage.....

Be it accepting our shortcomings , our want for validation , our insecurities , to wanting to be a better person.

IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO COURAGE.
Think about it ! 🙂

* The End *

Lastly thank you @position_trader for recommending this No Nonsense book last year. 🙂🙏

Thank you @warikoo for sharing this beautiful book to your extended audience often.
More people need to read this book & assess themselves & discover the courage to be disliked.🙂🙏