Thread by @StillDelvingH

The only way that would work is if said investors did not speak English, tho in that case, they can't understand the speech.
(Yeah I do know disaster capitalists will indeed get opportunities from the ashes while getting the laws curbed as they like to fit their needs)

Do I have the strenght?
I mean, translating is my jon, but it's late...
(High-skilled: "Well we kicked out most of our low-skilled key workers and the British ones are home with Covid, so technically, those left are high-skilled")
(Low-tax: "Have you heard about our tax havens?")

"The IEA wrote my speech"

"We have just severed our domestic economic strength with diplomatic and security partnerships around the globe.
Which is good for the shadowy "network of (unhindered by human rights and planet protection profits') liberty" that got us in power (yeah it wasn't our skills)"

"Remember how we've just left the free exchange of goods, services, capital and ideas? Yeah that thing that made our nation great and at our best. Take back control, we called it."

"Oh and here's a reference to slavery. Right after 'We are at our best when we are open to new ideas and opportunities'. Classy."

"And now, a reference to the woman who gave us the Single Market that we just left in the name of openness and free trade. Imagine if her ghost could talk."

"OK in case it's not clear I'm representing the shadowy funders of the lobbyists that highjacked our govt here is a clear reference (don't read his books tho)"

"Who wants a slide of Great British exceptionalism?"

"This means deregulation -Everyone got that right?"

"Tax haven-funded deregulation, environmental disaster and extinction of human rights now is 'the jewel in our crown' -something about 'sceptred', seriously, it's cool"

"Don't ask me what happens to the people we don't consider the 'Best and the Brightest'."

"Remember how we lifted all taxes? Let's do that again! It's OK not like our NHS needs it or something -We're privatising it anyway, and soon they'll be so many hoops to jump through to get universal credits people will be dead long before they even get to see the last one"

"Oh you thought I was joking right? No, no, we'll create tax-free zones for you. Not just Singapore on Thames, Singapore on the whole island! They knew what they were voting for aso."
"What? Oh right, deregulated zones, of course -ha ha"

"Blah blah please don't mention how we screwed up copy/paste and Australia trade deal didn't happen also we're considering a trade deal with the Moon thanks to our flying taxis and our soon to be built spaceport. Delivering on people's priorities as always."

"I'd credit the IEA but they told me not too -'just stick to the delusion', they said, 'people's life is now so sh*tty they'll take any glimpse of hope they can get, no matter how irrealistic it is"

"We'll screw this country for you. Unshamedly. I mean look at how we handled Covid -the shambles, the corruption, talk to our cronies, look at their bank accounts. Making profits and delivering for shareholders is our only raison d'être."

"We have contacts to screw other countries too"

"Making profits and delivering for shareholders is how we'll make COP26 a success"

"Yeah I'm quoting the Atlas Network/It's +480 lobbyist groups website. No worries no one is aware of that. Nor of the shadowy funders behind it, coincidentally set to benefit from our 'unashamedly making profits and delivering for shareholders' ideology."

"We will champion openness, freedom and prosperity worldwide byt being hard-headed in defending our interests -please send us your money"

"A great country available for a great price."

"We'll protect your interests above all else. (Or you know, ruin you but no worry one of our cronies will make a benefit)."

"We'd give you facts and figures but those really don't look good so here is what we're going for. Thank you."

OK I need a drink.
Good night.