Thread by @cerbykerby

cw // age gap

the first time 20y/o wwx meets 15y/o lwj, he stands a full head above the second jade of lan.

wwx is absolutely intrigued by this handsome young lan and—out of sheer habit of training younger children—bends down a little to match lwj's height.

lwj is OUTRAGED.

yes, it is EXACTLY like that 'how not to talk to short people' meme.

lwj is so angry that the redness of his ears threatens to spread to his cheeks. how dare this ridiculously handsome and tall man insult him? lwj is a growing boy! he's not done yet!

meanwhile lxc is on the verge of tears from holding in his laughter because lwj looks SO PISSED.

meanwhile wwx is making matters so much worse by being like, "Ahaha, ahh sorry little lan-gongzi, it's just that you are so small and cute and…"

lwj, fuming: I. Am. Not. Cute.

wwx: AWWWWHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺💕💕UR CHEEKS GOT SO CHUBBY WHEN U SAID THAT

after wwx returns to yunmeng, lwj starts increasing the amount of vegetables he eats. he still stays within the 3-bowl limit as according to family rules, but he's definitely eating much more than usual.

lqr says nothing. he just spoons more food into lwj's bowl.

lxc notices, though.

lxc: you have quite the appetite, wangji. as expected of a growing boy like you~ 🥰

lwj: mn

lwj, internally: if i am not taller than wei ying by the time we meet again i will go into seclusion and never show my face ever again

five years later, 25y/o wwx is making a name for himself as a sharp, charming, and talented cultivator. there's an entire betting pool on which girl will be lucky enough to be his wife.

but 20y/o lwj is also getting attention. his solemn demeanor and grace turns heads.

the cultivation world anticipates that they will be rival bachelors. there's probably entire volumes of self-insert and y/n fanfics where the author/reader catches both wwx's and lwj's attentions and they battle it out for the main character's affection. it's absolutely wild.

so, of course, there's much anticipation for when wwx and lwj finally meet again at jyl's wedding. everyone who is anyone is there, and so many people are watching.

when asked for his opinion on lwj, wwx perks up and says, "Oh! The little Young Master Lan! Yes, I know him!"

when the gusu lan sect's arrival is announced, the entire hall buzzes with anticipation. there are many expectations as to how their first meeting would go! would they declare each other rivals? or passive-aggressively greet each other? maybe they'll fight??

what they get instead is now a very-tall, very broad-shouldered lwj walking up to wwx. he bows, lifts his head, and calls, "Wei Ying."

wwx bows too. then, there is silence. wwx is staring directly at lwj. he's not saying anything. nobody is breathing.

then wwx's face splits into a realizing smile. "Oh! Hello, Qingheng-Jun! You'll have to forgive this one for not recognizing you immediately. I didn't have the honor of meeting you until now." he leans to the side, trying to peek around lwj. "Did you bring Lan Zhan with you?"

everyone watching is SHOCKED. qhj is still in seclusion! for wwx to mistake lwj for his father, isn't he saying that—that lwj looks /old/? such insult! especially for a cultivator as young as lwj! how dastardly of wwx, striking the first blow! this will be a rivalry for the ages!

meanwhile, lwj is trying to get it through that wwx that he's not his father.

lwj: wei ying—

wwx: and i was looking forward to seeing him too 😩 ah, well. i'm sure with a father as handsome as you, he can't have grown up too badly. *wink*

lwj:

lwj:

lwj: yes

lxc: NO 😭😭

poor lxc can HEAR the little *beep bop achievement unlocked: daddy kink* in lwj's head and he's absolutely not having it. he quickly walks over. "Wangji, we haven't greeted Young Mistress Jiang yet. It's been nice seeing you again, Young Master Wei." and then he hustles lwj away.

the watching crowd utterly loses their mind. zewu-jun had to step in! the two of them were about to fight! this rivalry is all anyone will be talking about for MONTHS!

meanwhile lxc is giving lwj a very stern lecture the whole way to where jyl and jzx are seated.

"I understand that desire is not something you can control, but you CANNOT impersonate our father just because Young Master Wei mistook you for him."

lwj pulls a sour face. "I was not going to."

"You were thinking about it," lxc retorts.

lwj petulantly looks away.

meanwhile wwx has gone through the stages of grief twice over and is on his third: and back on denial.

"It's impossible," wwx mumbles with his face in his hands. "He was /an entire head shorter than me/ not too long ago! I could use him as an armrest! There's no way that's him!"

"News flash: people grow," jc snaps. he has been listening to this for ten minutes straight. "Of course he's tall now."

"No, you don't understand!" wwx seizes jc by the front of his robes. "The Lans are /vegetarians/. You mean to tell me that kid grew that tall on CARROTS??"

throughout the banquet, wwx catches lwj watching him several times—although, to be fair, wwx is watching him too. he can't believe that the cute little lan he met five years ago turned into this. 😭😭😭 goodbye baby cheek chub.

meanwhile lwj is just undressing him with his eyes.

wwx, tall: NO FEAR 😈😈

lwj: *grows even taller*

lwj: *shows unmistakeable interest in wwx*

lwj: *now has daddy kink cos of wwx*

wwx: one fear