Thread by @tomiahonen

Flippathon Thread 1/

Las Vegas oddsmakers have relased betting guide for the First Annual Trumpomobster Flippathon sponsored by the Republican Picnic & Tourism Board in celebration of Insurrection, Terrorism & Attempted Coup

The crowd is Yuge with the customary gallows
#BannDay

Flippathon Thread 2/

A favorite of the #Flippathon 2021 is Steve Bannon. Bannon is no run of the mill scumbag and Trumpomobster. A true monster human being, has tons of crimes he brings to bargaining table with FBI, in attempt to plea bargain

#BannDay #LetsoGoBannon

Flippathon Thread 3/

His past crimes include 'mind rape' (Bannon's words, not mine) of Republicans via Cambridge Analytica & Facebook. Bannnon was behind Muslim ban. He launched Breitbart News. So he is about as as vile as they come. Scaramucci ranks him as worst #Trumpomobster

Flippathon Thread 4/

Already convicted felon once, Bannon was pardoned by Trump. And as a US champion flipper, 'Steve the Weasel' successfully ratted out Roger Stone who was sentenced to prison

Vegas odds on flipping: 99%
Possible asylum country (none)

Flippathon Thread 5/

Perennial favorite flipper is notorious serial butt-dialer and alleged attorney Rudy Giuliani, the Grand Duke of Four Seasons Total Landscaping (parking lot). Rudy Colludy has confessed his crimes on live video, so he is utterly screwed. He has to flip

Flippathon Thread 6/

As America's Mayor turned America's Vampire is former Federal prosecutor who sent Mafia killers to life in prison, he is in mortal danger inside any federal housing. He will spend his prison time in solitary confinement. This means he is in a rush to flip

Flippathon Thread 7/

Sir Buttdial McRudypants had been under federal wiretap on January 6, so all his phone calls from his War Room at Willard hotel were meticulously recorded by FBI. Anyone dumb enough to call Rudy on Jan 5 or 6 was thus also caught. They may bear a grudge

Flippathon Thread 8/

Rudy Colludy had built a powerful 'insurance file' with evidence of numerous #Trumpomobster crimes but this evidence was seized when FBI raided his office. So Rudy has less to bargain with. Thus his odds to flip have been reduced to

Odds on Flipping: 99.8%

Flippathon Thread 9/

Unstable volcanic mineral The Rogerstone ran his own War Room in the Willard Hotel too. He was surrounded by toy soldier Oath Keepers who immediately when caught, abandoned their oaths, confessed to Jan 6th and are now ratting out Roger Stone

Flippathon Thread 10/

The Girl With The Nixon Tattoo is a degenerate convicted criminal who was of course pardoned by Trump. Vegas Oddsmakers eagerly anticipate the grudge match of Bannon vs Roger Stone, who gets to flip on the other, first. This is a rat-eat-rat lovefest

Flippathon Thread 11/

Roger is so terrified of prison, he blackmailed Trump. He knows Trump crimes going back decades, and was point man with Trump selling Presidential Pardons. He can also deliver creeps like Jared the Bone Saw Boy.

Odds on Flipping: 99.9%

Flippathon Thread 12/

General Michael Flynn of Russia wearing a US uniform, was paid by Russia when working for the Trump campaign. Flynn conveniently forgot to mention this payment and became US National Security Advisor. Is a convicted felon. Trump of course pardoned him

Flippathon Thread 13/

Flynn is a Vegas oddsmaker favorite for his immense stupidity to go back to criming after he had received a Presidential pardon. He can deliver Don Jr, Eric, Jared when he rats everybody out

Odds on Flipping: 99.99%
Possible asylum country: Russia

Flippathon Thread 14/

War criminal and scumbag Erik Prince (brother of racist bastard Betsy DeVos) is skipping this year's #Flippathon. He is in exile hiding in the UAE. He will be tried in absentia, have his assets seised, passport revoked & becomes an international fugitive

Flippathon Thread 15/

Butthead Trump is about to be indicted in NY for tax fraud. He is a bit too coked up to figure out, that his slimy sister Entitlement Barbie has already flipped & has been wearing a wire. This reduces dramatically Don Jr's chances

Odds on Flipping: 98%

Flippathon Thread 16/

Repulsican traitor and Ranking Molester Gym Jordan (Q Talibanistan) was not aware, that Trump had helpfully told the DOJ in December that Jim is one of 3 'R Congressmen' who were plotting overthrow of democracy. Jordan was under surveillance

Flippathon Thread 17/

Together with House Bastard Rep Scott Perry (Q Coupsylvania) & Sen Ron Johnson (Q Moscow), the three 'R Congressmen' are destined to life in prison

Odds on Flipping: 98%
Possible asylum countries
Johnson: Russia
Jordan: Belarus
Perry: Pennsylvania forest

Flippathon Thread 18/

America's sharpest strategist, the My Pillow Guy flattered Trump so much on Fox, Trump invited the moron to his January Insurrection, Terrorism & Tourism party. Fully soft in the head, will not be offered plea bargain

Odds on care in mental asylum: 99.999%

Flippathon Thread 19/

Beavis Trump's father Gary Busey would not comment on Eric's whereabouts. He seems to miss this year's annual Trumpomobster #Flippathon due to being lost in a toilet. Nobody has sent search parties after him

Odds on eating paste: 97%

Flippathon Thread 20/

Two weeks after the main event the para-flippathon will be held like the kids table like Presidential debates. Vegas oddmakers are trying to pause the food fights and determine is there a Congresswoman named Lauren Boebert or she just Louie Gohert in drag?

Flippathon Thread 21/

Similarly Vegas oddsmakers are bravely attempting to count the number of names, and number of toes with Marjorie Three Names. They steer well clear of House Gargoyle Gosar and have not approached the honorable Rapey McForehead at the Gaetz of Hell

As always, the Annual #Trumpomobster #Flippathon ends with the inspiring uplifting song of timing in taking a plea bargain:

The Ballad Of Lev Parnas