Disney’s latest movie, #Encanto has hit us all in the feelings.
The film features the song ‘Surface Pressure’, and it details the underlying stresses and anxieties the character Luisa Madrigal experiences as the big sister.
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The song has become a viral hit, with many sharing their experiences of being the eldest sister in the family.
We spoke to Aiysha, who is the oldest daughter with four younger siblings, about her feelings of greater responsibility within her family unit.
‘Even in adulthood, when making decisions I was always taught to think of my siblings, to the point where my dad didn’t let me go to university until I was 21 because he didn’t want me to move out.’
But this sort of elder sister pressure isn’t unusual, Psychotherapist Caroline Plumer says it’s a learnt behaviour that starts at a very young age.
‘Eldest sisters will have spent at least a small portion of their lives as only children.’
‘This does not mean never lending a helping hand, but it does mean being able to kindly but firmly say ‘no’ to things that aren’t your responsibility and that leave you feeling emotionally and/or physically drained,’ Caroline adds.
Cultural factors also affect this family dynamic, Encanto tells the story of a family from Columbia and how their Latin heritage can contribute to their family environment.
Account director Whitney says ‘My family is from Haiti and I was always pushed to do and be the best in school and my personal life, which has led to a debilitating sense of perfectionism and fear of failure.’
This family dynamic can have a positive impact too, as Beth Greer describes: ‘I was trusted, whereas my sisters were treated like they were naughty (they weren’t, they were just more curious than I was).
What can be done to ease the pressure on elder sisters? Psychology coach and teacher Rebecca Lockwood says it’s important to be kind to yourself and remember it’s not up to you to fix everything.
Ultimately all families have a sense of responsibility to look after their own and encourage them to speak up if they are feeling stressed or under pressure.
Read the full story below 👇
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