🗣 Rob Rosenberger Profile picture
#Retired I debunk #cybersecurity hysteria. Co-founder of critically acclaimed (now inactive) Vmyths•com that employed #sarcasm #burlesque #irony #satire

Jan 19, 2022, 16 tweets

Okay kiddies, get your jammies on! I'm going to tell you why the FAA wouldn't let you play a Sony Walkman on an aircraft for so many years ... then suddenly they were okay with it from soon after takeoff until just before landing. First, though: *I* need an introduction

I'm a retired 3H0x1 who documented classified air operations in Iraq in 2003 for Operation IRAQI FREEDOM. A "Deployable Enlisted Historian" is a freaky USAF job because I can stop a general in his tracks during a deadly crisis to demand a briefing, e.g.:

But what's important to our little bedtime story is that I started as a 3H0x1 for the 932d Airlift Wing, a special USAF unit that flew aeromedical missions. The C-9 "Nightingale" aircraft was a 500 MPH #ambulance and we had a fleet of them!

So one day, "Star Alliance" (!) wrote to the FAA saying "We give up! Our First Class passengers ignore cabin commands to put away their toys for takeoff & landing. Laptops, Sony Walkmans, stopwatches, you name it. It's up to FAA to figure out a solution for passengers' safety."

So the FAA issued a NOTAM ("notice to airmen") that Sony Walkmans can interfere with the delicate electronics in every aircraft from a Cessna 172 all the way up to a Boeing 747. This, despite the fact commercial aircraft get struck by lightning from time to time!

But the FAA's NOTAM had a loophole: "If your passengers strap down their toys in flight, then you can let them play minesweeper even during takeoffs & landings. Then it's not a skull-banging debris threat, which is our REAL reason for banning Sony Walkmans."

So the 932d Airlift Wing sent paperwork assuring the FAA "every piece of equipment is properly secured in flight. We'll continue to use laptops attached to heart monitors, incubators, etc."

A copy of the paperwork resides in the 932 AW's history reports because

...But now every First Class passenger knew they could terrorize a 747 by playing the last 43 seconds of "Sgt. Pepper's" on a Sony Walkman. Hurray!

One year later, all steward[esse]s had told the lie so often during their safety briefs that THEY STARTED TO BELIEVE IT!

Meanwhile, 932 AW "CCATT" medical folks are playing minesweeper on the laptop displaying their patient's vitals.

And in the photo below, the mission copilot remembered mid-flight to shut off her cell phone saying "ha ha, don't want to drain the battery!"

As a 3H0x1, I learned that every cargo aircraft wing in USAF had filed paperwork to avoid the FAA's "no toys" NOTAM.

This led me to ask "why didn't HAF or MAJCOMs file this paperwork?"

Reason: FAA studied each wing's mission statement 🙄 so they could deny it if unreasonable

And so U.S. air passengers flew for a while, unable to listen to music or play with their laptops.

BUT THEN...
(here's where I exceed my knowledge)

"Star Alliance" discovered they could #monetize the Internet on commercial flights! FAA repealed a majority of their NOTAM and

Okay kids, before I turn out the light ... let's review an important #cybersecurity lesson here.

We in the cyber community often LIE to our users/coworkers/mgmt. We do it because "they don't listen to us when we tell the truth." But we even lie to ourselves by saying that!

We in the cyber community lie to users/coworkers/mgmt because THEY WON'T TAKE OUR ADVICE.

They come up with shitty arguments like "I really don't think 'Russia going to war against Ukraine' is a legit reason to force a password change. And it's the military's job to protect us."

We're like the mother who gets tired of dealing with her kids' resistance and we shout "BECAUSE I'M THE MOMMY, THAT'S WHY!"

That's why your bank's webmaster replies "we take your security seriously" when they won't let you login with a password manager.

So! Now you realize the FAA lied to you for years, all because "Star Alliance" could no longer get their First Class passengers to put away their toys during takeoffs & landings for "safety" reasons. So they said it was for "electronic" reasons. And you BELIEVED it!

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