Thread by @Jordan_Boersma

This tweet did numbers (for me) and generated some new followers. Hello!

It was a bit "flexy", so now is a good time to share my long and unlikely (wrought with failure) journey to this dream postdoc:
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I failed my first undergrad semester @umontana (quite spectacularly, ~1.5 GPA), and never really gained my footing, graduating with a <3.0 GPA.

During my junior year I applied for many field jobs and got rejected by all of them. Summer was coming and I had no prospects...
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Someone dropped out of one of the jobs and I filled in.

I nest-searched the summer away in Montana and loved it.

As it turns out the research group I was working with (Tom Martin) also did research in Malaysian Borneo. Whaaa? I want to do that!
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So I put in another field season in Montana and made my case for Borneo, and I got it!

I spent 4 field seasons in Borneo and fell in love with the tropics. A friend on the Borneo crew (Ahvi Potticary) recommended me for a Fairywren project she was on in Australia.
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There's just something about Fairywrens...

At the end of my first field season I was asked by a grad student (Doug Barron) to return next year to run an experiment for him.

We translocated sexy old Red-backed Fairywren males from our population in Far North Queensland.
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Why? To determine how that affected physiology and phenotype acquisition in drab young males at the source population.

2.5 months into this experiment while catching some young males, I smelled smoke, and uh oh... fire!
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We rushed back to our house at the edge of the field site. I was recruited by our landlord, a curmudgeonly army sergeant and donkey bush trek leader to help drag a fire line to keep it out of the donkey paddocks.

We succeeded, thus saving the donkeys and providing some...
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refuge habitat for the Fairywrens. From the embers of this fire we designed a new project that I would lead studying how wildfire affected Fairywrens.

This study was (finally!) published in @AvianBiology last year: onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.111…
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The project required measuring hormones in Hubert Schwabl's lab @wsusbs.

During my time there Hubert was submitting a collaborative NSF grant to continue Fairywren work and I asked if he would take a grad student for the project. He said yes. I asked him if I could...
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be that grad student. He said yes, if it's funded. And we waited, and waited some more, and kept waiting, and eventually it was funded!

Small problem, @GradSchoolWSU required a >3.0 undergrad GPA. So Hubert petitioned the grad school to let me in.

They did!
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I got through my coursework and generated good data in the field in Papua New Guinea and in the lab. Many troubles were troubleshot. Things were going well.

I had so many formative experiences in PNG thanks to these two amazing people especially and many others. #blessed
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Then came time for prelims (quals, A-exam).

I failed.

A good friend (Chris Duke) offered to coach me through my second (& final) attempt; we met weekly to talk through topics. I developed study habits that worked for my oft-adrift brain.

I learned A LOT.
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I took prelims again and passed, maybe even with flying colors!?

I thought I'd feel like I belonged in grad school after this triumph. I didn't. I couldn't get over the feeling that I still wasn't smart enough to be a PhD candidate, let alone, someday, a PhD.
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During this time I met @MtnScience and asked him many questions about how he managed a successful grad school experience.

As he is wont to do, he wrote a paper about it: ojs.library.queensu.ca/index.php/IEE/…

He steadily became a close friend and mentor. I studied his ways...
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Scott kindly, and persistently, pestered me to start writing the paper for a project I had presented a few times.

I made excuses as to why it wasn't the right time, but the real issue was that I didn't believe my work would be accepted by any respectable journal.
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Scott continued to encourage me. I started writing. I enjoyed writing. Wait, I've always enjoyed writing! Why should this be different?!

Eventually, fearfully, I submitted the paper.
Eventually, joyously, it was accepted!

I embarked on a solo OR coast trip to celebrate
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It's my nature to diminish my accomplishments. Even typing "my accomplishments" feels gross. Blame a Midwestern upbringing, I guess.

But something changed. I'm not saying I solved my imposter syndrome (I haven't), but I've learned to manage it by acknowledging progress.
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I'm lucky to enjoy writing- I know this often isn't the case.

Once I realized I could write publishable papers the rest of my grad school experience was relatively uncomplicated. Just write and write a lot.

So now I'm here in Ithaca ready to keep writing about Fairywrens!
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Finally, some acknowledgments:

-I am privileged to have grown up in a supportive upper-middle class family w/ skin/status that didn't exclude me from spaces in the field or on campus

-I only named a few, but I am fortunate to be buoyed by so many incredible people

19/fin