Introducing Winter Olympics Curling Team USA:
Captained by Donald Trump's own Pet Poodle Sen Lindsey Graham, on loan from Russia, America's master of the lip curl
#LeningradLindsey
At Lead Brush:
Tucker Tuckums Carlson
Who after the Matt Gaetz interview, is utterly fuckered
On Right Brush
Eric 'Trump' the son of Gary Busey
As the Anchor Brush
Sarah Huckabee Sanders. When asked was she really on the US Curling Team, Sarah confidently responded "Not to my knowledge"
Team Alternate
America's most hated man, Rafael 'Ted' Cruz, fresh flown in from Cancun
#CancunCruz
And Team Mascot
Is one of the imaginary cows from the farm of Devin Nunes
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