Thread by @psychwrite

For some light hearted fun, i.e. don’t at me… (not exhaustive, everyone is valued, etc)

#MetGala2022 attendees as #mentalhealth staff; a thread 🧵;

Lacanian purist. Begs his colleagues to return to the unheimliche nature of of the Freudian discovery, locus of fantastical evanescent surprises such as the dream, the lapsus, the parapraxis, and the joke.

Perinatal specialist. Bubbly, calm-tempered, works at the Ainsworth Institute. Thrice-weekly Pilates and has a blog dedicated to her Fluvog shoe collection.

Professor of consultation liaison psychiatry. Knows everything. Regularly quizzes trainees on interleukins and neuromodulation. Interned at the WHO. Signed copies of Aubrey Lewis’ books in his office which is a paper cave.

Forensic psychiatrist, surreptitiously leaving court after giving oral evidence.

Psychodynamic psychotherapist. Couldn’t care less about your discomfort, this is MEANT to be confronting. Also lies awake at night holding you in mind 😳 Reminds you of your mother… no, your ex… no, your sister.

Practitioner of psychodrama. Ex-high school drama teacher. Entry to office via red velvet curtain. From Merimbula but practices with English accent. “I don’t trust words, I trust actions.”

Advocating for psychedelic assisted psychotherapy, has started own research company. ForEx trader for income, as there is no subjectively clinical role suitable as the current climate stands. Frequents ayahuasca retreats with Gabor Mate.

Outreach psychiatrist. Brazenly goes where others won’t dare. Nickname is Double D, big fan of the two depot regime.

Supportive psychotherapist. Not really sure what the clinical indication is, but is there, reliably. Has a great website. Own personal life is a total bin fire.

Acute inpatient psychiatrist. Rounds from 0830-1230 and not a minute later. Fantastic handbag collection in lieu of children. Strong Slovakian accent and incredibly hard to read. Takes vacation the same weeks thrice a year.

Psychopharmacologist. Has a newsletter they involuntarily subscribe peers to. Taking sponsorships from big pharma. Recommends <latest psychotropic agent> for everything, from acne to Zika.

ECT suite coordinator who just found out you didn’t fast the patient.

Enthusiastic trainee who has 73 publications under belt. Sits on 14 committees and three NGO boards. Biggest fan is: self. Hasn’t had own psychotherapy and too terrified to.

Music therapist. Nephew by marriage to Jimmy Barnes. Works three days a week and two at a record store. Posts motivational quotes about giving back on his Instagram. Makes TikToks with new lyrics to classics.

Geripsychiatrist. Doesn’t have time for your shit, especially when you suggest it’s new-onset schizophrenia in an 85-year-old. Drives a Volvo 840GL and parks on the curb after arriving at 10am.

CBT monogamist. Her tailor completed this outfit in six to twelve sessions, no more, no less. Gives you daggers when you suggest long term psychotherapy to address underlying patterns of interpersonal interaction.

Child and adolescent psychiatrist. Looks at you like this when you try and send your 12-year-old in by themselves to get “fixed.” Runs the psychoanalytic reading group on Reddit and a huge fan of Winnicott… Doesn’t really believe in “good enough,” though.

Addictions psychiatrist. Never prescribes something they haven’t tried. Real advocate for their patients, never shies away from academic invitations. Cycles to work in corduroy, votes Greens, lactose intolerant.

MH social worker. Loved by all. No, cannot organise accommodation yesterday. Practices jiu jitsu to curb their anger. Has a poster of a Vincenzo do Nicola in office. Will. Save. World. Dammit.

Clinical psychologist. That’s Doctor, to you. Yes, it’s taken me 638 years and 24,000 training hours to get here, but do tell me again what your life coach suggested to do with crystals? Ohhh she has a podcast? Tell me less.