Thread by @QuinnyPig

Having spent an hour or so walking the floor of @RSAConference, it's rather clear that #RSAC's not about security learning, but rather about selling security in a box. As @mattstratton famously said in a talk once, "you can't buy DevOps but I sure would like to sell it to you."

Here @SentinelOne teaches us that the tree of security must be refreshed from time to time with the logo of @hashicorp. #RSAC

Here we see that Angry Twitter is making its presence known at #RSAC.

The state of Georgia sponsors #rsac to convince people to move their companies there. Given that "being shitty to trans people" runs against our ethics here, I'mma pass.

Overheard in a @CrowdStrike marketing meeting: "What should we do for swag this year? I mean, we sure as shit can't raffle off a drone without rebranding the company first..." #rsac

Next time @AppgateSecurity might want to have a picture of a dolphin or something between the "Zero BS" and "A leader in the @forrester Wave" talking points. They kinda need something to help them flow together. #rsac

I pause here to note that @rsaconference declined to give me a media badge on the grounds of "I work for a vendor." (What the hell do they think I'd sell here, anyway?)

If I have to pay $50 for an expo pass, I am for damned sure going to get my money's worth. Onward!

I'll be sure to visit @FwdNetworks to verify my network security posture. I just need to stop at another #rsac booth first for a free password audit.

Gotta say, @RecordedFuture is making a strong case for "best FUD of #rsac 2022."

I see that Facebook's rebranding has reached their recruiting efforts. #rsac

Meanwhile @Microsoft is over here going for "Best Oxymoron Since Microsoft Works." #rsac

Look, I gotta level with you @RSAConference: given how devoted you are to slapping a sponsor on anything that holds still long enough, you're missing one hell of an obvious opportunity...

"Want to work at the FBI?"

No. You all wear suits, but they're *cheap* suits. Hard pass. #rsac

"The #rsac restrooms are generously sponsored by The @DuckbillGroup's @LastWeekinAWS; we're here to ensure you'll always have something to shit on."

Love @yubico though I do, I'm still not plugging anything I get for free at a conference into the USB port of a device I care about. Particularly #rsac....

"Okay, secure multi-cloud. I hear you. What if I'm all in on just one cloud provider?"

"Then we have nothing to sell you, so get the hell out of my #rsac booth."

Keeping in touch is important. I'll always make time to visit the @splunk booth to see how all the money I paid them is doing. #rsac

Ooh, the @awscloud database team is at #RSAC.

What an attractive advertisement at the @ThinkstCanary booth. I really, really like what they do: credentials that alert you when they're used.

It's innovative and different and effective; that's exactly the kind of thing that's not allowed at #RSAC. How on earth did they get a booth here?!

"Easy, we told @RSAConference that these were firewalls."

For instance, I see all the access attempts on this (neutered) keypair. If they were in my credentials file labeled as "prod" the alerts would be a pretty good indicator that something's compromised my laptop.

Good call on all the folks starting with GetCallerIdentity!

It feels like @GoogleCloud is double dipping at @RSAConference with their double booths--Google proper and their Mandoogle acquisition.

Outside the #RSAC venue, the state of Illinois has bought out the advertisements in the @SFBART station to smacktalk people into moving there. You'd think that folks in Chicago would know enough about public transit to just take the L by now...

This concludes my first day of #RSAC. I would have liked to have covered some session content instead of just dunking on vendors, but as I am "Not Media" I wasn't allowed to attend those via expo pass.

Perhaps next year @RSAConference will decide differently. I see you 'mirin!