Noel Thingvall Profile picture
Podcaster. Blogger. Collects far more comics, books, scripts, tv, and movies than I'll ever get to. He/Him.

Aug 24, 2022, 56 tweets

#NowReading Mario Puzo's Superman, which has finally surfaced and is making the rounds.

Krypton sequence is largely the same, tho sets up a slightly different group of baddies. Kru-El is such an 80s action figure name.

Puzo had a reputation for being a bit of a sloppy writer who didn't like to do multiple drafts, and so far the text definitely has that choppy feel of being typed up from either handwritten shorthand or stenographer notes.

Chekov's time reversal.

Amusingly, star athlete Clark Kent shocks his high school by quitting sports right before The Big Game. Not out of fairness or to preserve his identity, but just because he's bored playing against normal players. Reads like a Kurt Russel Disney comedy.

Smallville portion is brief. No time with his father, who doesn't die. No discovery of the ship, he's already grown up with the hologram of his parents. Just leaves as an adult, takes a northbound roadtrip, then spends 2 years in isolation building the Fortress. And kills a bear.

Good lord, he's slaughtering half the region, taking out entire packs of wolves, dear, and seals to make all of his Fortress furniture and decore with. Where nobody can keep an eye on these Ed Gein red flags!

Clark's inconspicuous introduction to Metropolis.

Instead of a reporter at Daily Planet, this is adapting the era where Clark is a tv anchor for Galaxy Communications under a cranky Morgan Edge. Perry White is a Producer, Jimmy an on-the-street reporter, and Lois wants to be a reporter, but has been demoted to weathergirl.

My problem with this is, beyond an anchor position not giving Clark the freedom to be roaming outisde the office, it makes no sense that he's been building a tv career during his time in solitude. Unless there's been an unstated jump in years.

Ok, so the sollution to get Clark out of the office is to send the entire news team (including sports & weather!) in a disguised newstruck to report crimes as they happen, then make it back in time to anchor the live show. Sure. And they instantly run afoul of... Luthor Lux!

p51-60. Luthor's bank robbery and kidnapping of Lois is straight out of Batman '66. Interesting that Superman entering his lair and walking thru all his booby traps (no Kryptonite yet) happens this early in the script. And love the note that looks like a murder scene.

Here's a little taste of Clarke/Lois banter, and Clark as an anchorman.

Wanna take my time with this script, so if anyone wants to keep checking in or following along, planning to do 10 pages a night.

p61-70. We get to see a full news segment of everyone being a disaster and Puzo feeling a need to describe what a tire looks like, then a slog of a comedy sequence of the jock sportscaster talking Clark into throwing a football, which Puzo insists "should be very funny."

p71-80. After the news crew gets in trouble with some drug dealers, Superman saves the day, and Lois gers her first interview with him. There's no real romantic chemistry there, and she's already suspicious of Clark, so I'm curious if she'll put the pieces together on her own.

Followed by a montage of Superman cleaning up the streets. We get him standing on the glass with the burglar, but most are subdued, and Puzo seems reluctant to show flying beyond distant blue blurs. Supes just appears and, distressingly, shakes criminal to unconsciousness.

Superman declaring "I'm not your average teddy bear" needs to be an issue cover. Seriously.

p81-90. Starting to cross over Luthor with the Kryptonians in the first half, who inspire him to steal the Kryptonite. Curious if we'll have a clear delineation between Parts 1 & 2, like the rewrite I've read by the Newmans, of if Puzo wrote one big story that they broke up.

There's been a developing background story about the same group of terrorists causing massive oil crises, but Superman ignoring (!) public pleas from the President so he can focus on Metropolis. Well now the entire newsteam is being sent to Iran!

We also get our heroes on a picnic, and 70s Street Toughs, and I'm amused by how Puzo emphasizes they're "really tough KIDS". @NightmareJunk

p91-100. Clark and Lois see the sights of Iran, with her swooning to his citation of local trivia. Then it turns out the entire terrorist threat was a ruse for Luthor to steal a jewelled throne. Then Kryptonite happens and we cut right back to Metropolis.

I love that Puzo wants to hit the budget with an uneventful 6 page trip to shoot in Iran, but then still wants to keep costs tight by rarely showing Superman flying.

p101-110. So they're not back in Metropolis! Luthor has an identical lair in Iran (?) where he's ransoming Lois & Superman for advertising time on Edge's network (?), and has been colluding with the local General to pull off the hoax terror attacks (?).

Jimmy and Lombard (the sportscaster) sneak around in disguise, Lois gets free thanks to the booby-trapped jeweled throne and letting a guard molest her (gah!), and Superman puts Luthor in jail.

And NOW we leave this chapter in Iran, with Lois taking home a special souvenir.

p111-120. Lois and Clark have their big date where she's put together the clues and tries using the Kryptonite to expose him as Superman. But he saw this coming and made his dress suit out of woven fibers of lead!

They of course never explain how his completely exposed head doesn't suffer any effects. And the whole bit of Lois taking off his coat and vest, which you think she'd notice is heavy metal, goes nowhere.

p121-130. So Lois did figure it out! She tricks Clark into getting poisoned, and they have a big exchange of their feelings. And because Puzo won't show flying, it's a hard cut to the Fortress of Solitude. Sadly we don't get her reaction to the animal slaughter decore.

This early in the first film, after their first formal date, Puzo is already rushing to the plot thread of Superman giving up his powers to be with Lois, complete with a half-hearted line that what's felt like a few days of story were actually 6 months. Mario, montage better.

p131-140. Powerless Clark & Lois bone. Then he has a strange monologue about how hard it is to be Superman. Then he gets hammered and the monologue goes full Dean Cain. I so want to see a table read of this awkward sequence.

Then they drive (!) away from the Fortress of Solitude and you get the scene at the diner where the truckers kick Clark's ass.

p141-150. Luthor is bragging to his co-horts about a massive 3-stage plan for the biggest crime in the world, but refuses to tell them what the stages are. Otis isn't here yet, Luthor's just got a group of 4 unnamed henchmen and Eve.

Luthor finally relents on the first stage, meant to be a distraction to keep Superman busy. This being a Puzo script, the plan is to assassinate the Pope. Cut to the Vatican where the entire guess who local news team has arrived to cover a story!

I'm trying to figure out if Puzo is intentionally leaning into the absurdity of an entire local affiliate news team being constantly flown overseas. Also, doesn't Clark being a widely seen TV personality increase the chances of people recognizing him thru the glasses?

p151-160. A full 6 pages of this stretch is sportcaster Lombard again making a bet with the now powerless Clark to throw a football. (A parenthetical from Puzo reminds us this should be funny.)

Then the mass happens where goons dressed as monks attempt to assassinate the pope, only for powerless Clark to still dive in and tackle them. Even with the added risk, he's a natural hero.

p161-170. The news team is sent to a nuclear plant to not only observe the workings, but assembly of an atomic bomb. And wouldn't you know it, Luthor sneaks in, triggers a meltdown, and steals some of the rods. A legit exciting sequence, ending with Clark exposed to radiation.

p171-180. With Clark dying, Lois brings Lombard & Jimmy in on things as they break him out of the hospital and to the Fortress. Lombard & Jimmy are apparently pilots too. Superman is restored and thanks them by slipping them a roofie that erases their memories. Superman's a jerk.

In a wild sequence, Lois tosses the roofie and sneaks to the molecular transfer, with a fantasy of making herself into a Superwoman to fight alongside Clark and make buildings quake with their fucking (really). Alas, Superman reveals she can't be changed, so she takes the roofie.

p181-190. Luthor finally reveal his master plan, to use his own nuclear bomb to ransom Metropolis for, among other things, $10 million worth of television advertising time. They hinted at this goal earlier. I still don't get it yet.

In a national address, the President refuses to give in to demands. Even one of Luthor's henchmen has a crisis of conscience, but fails to take the bomb out. Superman arrives, instantly captures Luthor, who brags about failsafes. We've got just over 30 pages left.

p191-200. So Puzo was intentionally sitting on portrayals of Superman flying to set up the big money shot of Superman grabbing the nuke, flying light years to a distant galaxy (!), and getting caught in the explosion.

We then hard cut to a presidential parade with Clark and Lois inexplicably accepting honors on Superman's behalf, and Luthor scowling as he watches it on TV. Why is he not in jail!? He's still in the same hideout which Superman just left!

But we're not done! No, in his distant x-ray vision, Clark sees that Zod and the Kryptonians have been freed from the Phantom Zone, leading to a nice sequence of Jor-El's explanation of their history intercuting with them flying closer and closer to Earth.

p201-210. It's wild seeing so much of Superman 2 play out in just 10 pages, with the initial onslaught of the Kryptonians being an offscreen wake of devastation, and Superman cutting them off before the heart of the city in a lead suit with the Kryptonite belt on.

The leader of the group is Jax-Ur, with Zod as his lieutenant. The fight is MoS levels of brutal with them still overpowering Superman in spite of the Kryptonite, and even our hero levelling buildings and blocks full of people.

Cleverly, he retreats into Luthor's lair, striking a bargain with the mastermind, who then strikes a bargain with the Kryptonians as the action shifts to the Fortress of Solitude. Tomorrow will be the final stretch, curious to see if the time reversal will still happen.

p211-220. After a physical assault on the Fortress fails, Luthor delivers a grand speech that convinces Superman to let the Kryptonians in, leading to a big chase to, you guessed it, the molecular reconstruction room.

After Superman bats away the powerless Kryptonians, we cut to them moping on the couches of his living room as Superman and Luthor serve them memory roofied drinks so they'll completely forget who they are and can have a fresh start. Then the drink is offered to Luthor.

In a twist, Luthor's drink isn't drugged, as thanks for his help in stopping a larger threat. Thus the hero and his villain resume their status quo. As credits roll, anchor Clark gives us an epilogue editorial of all the other problems in the world.

Thus concludes the Mario Puzo draft of Superman.

In conclusion, the Puzo draft is a bizarre mess that certainly sewed seeds for what we'd get, but is also a testament for how foundational the rewrite by the Newmans & Benton was. Even as their script was a bizarre mess in its own way. And that's before we even get to Mankiewicz.

There's big problems with the Puzo draft. Superman is a jerk, eager to ditch his role for love even as he disrespects that love with a lack of trust. Luthor (why Lux?) is fun if anticlimactic (why the obsession with TV ad time?). And the Kryptonians just drop in last minute.

There's no romantic chemistry. Puzo tells us comedy is funny without actually making it so. Smallville is too brisk and lacks foundation. The local news team flying around the world is nonsensical. This is barely a coherent draft.

Mostly, it feels like Puzo's just not that interested, and that translates to a lack of heart. This was a big paycheck for him, so he hacked some notes together, had someone type them up, then threw the baton to the next team to make something of his mess.

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