#APPLE UNVEILS IT'S NEW iPHONE 14
**Nothing really new
**Nothing really special
**Nothing really worth it.
cnbc.com/2022/08/29/app…
"It's just a stupid phone. What's the big deal?" asked an industry analyst.
"When has Apple done anything new? They stopped innovating when Jobs died." cnbc.com/2022/08/29/app…
"Tim Cook has turned #APPLE into a gadget maker. It's eventually going to go the way of Blackberry," said a company analyst.
"Tim Cook is too busy fighting for social causes and LGBTQ rights then innovating," said an analyst, "Apple has fallen woefully behind competitors in cloud computing, streaming and e-commerce. Tim's missed all those opportunities."
SELL ON THE NEWS
#AppleEvent (AAPL) a yawner after company fails to deliver innovation.
"We're just being shown the freak'n iPhone for the umpteenth time," said a company analyst.
"TIM COOK WOULDN'T KNOW AN INNOVATION FROM A WHOLE IN THE WALL"
Activist shareholder unloads on Apple (AAPL) CEO after the company unveils yet another iPhone upgrade.
"What has Tim Cook done except just tweak what Steve Jobs created? He's killed innovation at the company."
"Tim Cook is too busy wrapping Apple (AAPL) in rainbow color banners to really innovate," said an irate investor.
"Apple will go down just like Nokia, Motorola and Blackberry before them."
#APPLE (AAPL) UNDERWHELMS WITH NEW PRODUCT REVEAL
"First of all it's neither a reveal and it's not new. It's a plain ole phone. What's new about that? It even looks like all the other ones. Apple is living on borrowed time," according to one analyst.
#APPLE GIVEN LESS THAN 5 YEARS BY ANALYST
"The company is behind in cloud computing, streaming, e-commerce and innovation. It's still working on decades old product like iPads and phones. Tim Cook has lead them down a dead end. The company will be finished in under 5 years."
TIM COOK FED ONLY MICHELIN LUNCHES AT APPLE HQ.
Apple CEO flew in 5 star Michelin chefs to cater to his taste buds.
"Tim won't eat it unless it's organic, prepared by one of his Michelin chefs and totally vegan," said an inside source.
QUIRKY TIM COOK SAID TO USE FOOD TASTERS TO PREVENT POISONING
Inside sources at Apple say the notoriously private CEO employs professional food tasters and testers.
"Tim want's them to check on the nutritional value and if the food contains pesticides or poisons."
SOURCES AT APPLE SAY TIM COOK EXPENSED $1.34 MILLION IN COMPANY MEALS.
"He employs three Michelin chefs and only eats what they prepare. If he eats at a restaurant, he insists his chefs join in the food preparation. Tim's most expensive meal last year came in at $125,000."
APPLE CEO TIM COOK BRINGS OWN CHEFS TO RESTAURANTS
"He uses them to taste test the food before it's served to him," according to an Apple source, "And he even sometimes insist they do the actual meal preparation not trusting the restaurant's staff."
APPLE FOODIE CEO SPENT OVER $1 MILLION ON MEALS LAST YEAR
According to an inside source Tim Cook employs three personal chefs and insists Apple picks up the tab.
"This doesn't cost him anything. The company pays for it all."
TIM COOK EXPOSED AT APPLE
CEO said to spend lavishly on food.
Submitted over $1M in meals on his company expense account last year.
"Tim won't eat it unless it's prepared by a Michelin level chef," said a source who asked to be kept anonymous.
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