Meaning of Brahmacharya:
Brahmacharya is a thing, not a person. (Let's not confuse it with brahmacārī). It's a Vedic idea, so let's define it from a Vedic viewpoint.
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And Vedic Brahmacarya is not primarily about celibacy, but about learning and proceeding by the path of brahman - by seeking the knowledge behind mantras, by following a discipline that shows your commitment, respect and focus.
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Celibacy is only a background for greater focus, is recommended by sutras for this reason. Brahmacarya itself isn't celibacy & the house-dwellers who cohabit only for procreation are also fit for brahmacarya; they can continue to learn Vedas even post marriage.
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For now, practically as long as you don’t entertain lustful thoughts (by taking actions based on them) towards women (or whatever it be), and you are seeking the way of mantras, learning knowledge and showing discipline in it, you remain a brahmachārī.
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Provided you also abstain from other several unnecessary and ambiguous activities like eating meat, going after luxury, lack of guilt, not showing interest in seeking value and improving yourself.
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Replying to a chat or having to talk to a girl in your school or college or online doesn’t cause you to leave brahmacharya, as long as you don’t have any intention to sleep with her, or regard her potentially as one.
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Even if you supposedly drift away from a discipline due to human frailty, there are penances to bring you back. It is not designed to mess with you.
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Brahmacharya is there for every being, not just males, in Vedas. It is a state of discipline, of seeking Rta through being in a discipline, which ensures you are free from going wayward, and that you serve your true purpose. As Atharvaveda says:
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brahmacáryeṇa tápasā rā́jā rāṣṭráṃ ví rakṣati
ācāryò brahmacáryeṇa brahmacāríṇam ichate
brahmacáryeṇa kanyā̀ yúvānaṃ vindate pátim
anaḍvā́n brahmacáryeṇā́śvo ghāsáṃ jigīṣati
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brahmacáryeṇa tápasā devā́ mr̥tyúm ápāghnata
indro ha brahmacáryeṇa devébhyaḥ svàr ā́bharat
“By Brahmacharya, through tapas, does a king extend wide protection to his kingdom,
The Acharya, through Brahmacharya, seeks for a brahmachārī (to instruct).
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By brahmacharya, the kanya obtains her young husband,
By brahmacharya do the cart-bullocks and horses graze for grass.
By the tapas of Brahmacharya did Devas dispel death away,
Indeed by brahmacharya did Indra, bring the Light, for the Devas"
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This principle of discipline of doing only what is essential, and staying focused on it, is what is called brahmacharya.
Credit: Kiron Krishnan
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