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Average dude. Husband. Dad to 3. Unabashed freedom enthusiast.

Dec 30, 2022, 23 tweets

As 2022 comes to a close, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you of the high(and low)lights of the COVID-19 response in Ontario over the past year, as well as the goings-on of relevant personalities.

Join me for a long trip down recent-memory lane...🧵

January 5

After being told for months that vaccine passports were the key to keeping businesses open, Ontario once again forces gyms, restaurants, bars and large events to close down, proving that vaxports failed. Schools are closed for two additional weeks over the Christmas.

January 28

The Convoy arrives in Ottawa, becoming one of the largest grassroots protests in CDN history. It spurred reform of COVID-19 restrictions across the provinces.

Justin Trudeau opted to deploy the emergencies act to end the protest without ever speaking with protesters.

January 31

Ontario's merciful leader, Doug Ford, permits restaurants, gyms and sporting events to resume business while once again under strict capacity limits.

February 4

While Omicron rages in Ontario and ordinary citizens are asked to cancel their travel plans, #COVIDZero enthusiast Bruce Arthur of the Toronto Star makes the pilgrimage to his utopia, China, to cover the Olympic games.

February 14

As a valentine to Ontarians who oppose segregation and support basic human decency, Doug Ford signals the end of the vaccine passport program. "Verify Ontario" would later be deleted from app stores.

March 4

After years of demanding extraordinary sacrifices from ordinary citizens in order to "protect" Ontario's piss poor hospital capacity, Minister of Health and Deputy Premier, Christine Elliott, announces her resignation.

March 7

After collecting two years worth of six figure pandemic-related bonuses, Chris Mackie resigns as Medical Officer of Health for Middlesex-London amid reports of a toxic work environment.

March 11

After a thorough review, Ontario aligns its COVID-19 death reporting criteria to match that of the World Health Organization, retroactively removing 411 deaths from their database in the process.

March 21

Ontario officially ends its mask mandate and self-isolation requirements. Despite the fact that subsequent waves of COVID-19 would produce fewer deaths and hospitalizations, many strange people still yearn for a return to mandatory masking.

April 6

In an attempt to inspire fear and compliance, Peter Juni states that the province is likely seeing upwards of 100,000 cases per day. While likely an overstatement, that infection rate would indicate that COVID-19 had become quite mild.

April 25

Acclaimed shit disturber and twitter addict David Fisman manages to get a profoundly daft study published in a medical journal. In it, he crafts a model to show that if COVID-19 vaccines prevented transmission, then the unvaccinated would be a danger to society. 🤡

April 26

Ryan Imgrund has his teaching license suspended. Later, allegations surface that seem to indicate that he sent inappropriate pictures and messages with teenage students under his care.

May 7

On a campaign stop, while showcasing his inability to read the room, Steven Del Duca announces that, if elected, the Ontario Liberal Party would add COVID vaccine requirement for school attendance.

On election day, the Liberals got trounced and Del Duca was ousted.

June 2

Doug Ford wins a resounding majority government by barely mentioning the events of the past two years.

July 15

Ontario opens up eligibility for fourth doses of COVID-19 vaccines to individuals 18 or older. Kieran Moore chooses his words carefully, tip-toeing around a blanket recommendation, citing risk of heart damage in young people.

July 28

Despite the best efforts of Public Health officials, the vast majority of Ontario parents act sensibly by deciding against vaccinating their toddlers. COVID-19 vaccines have a terrible risk profile and their benefit for younger individuals is nil.

August 26

After years of terrorizing Ontarians with unfulfilled doomsday prognostications, the Ontario Science Table is unceremoniously dissolved and its members relegated to relative obscurity.

September 6

Dr Nili Kaplan-Myrth seizes an opportunity to shame herself by taking to TVO to debate Matt Straus on the usefulness of mandates. After the debate, Nili would cry that she was treated unfairly by the show's host; the near-universally admired Steve Paikin.

October 25

Nili Kaplan-Myrth is elected to a trustee position on the Ottawa-Carleton District School Board.

This could only be possible in Ottawa, which seems to operate outside the normal boundaries of space and time.

November 18

Just three days after defying all sanity and pleading with Ontarians to mask up in a futile attempt to ward off RSV and flu infections, Kieran Moore is spotted partying maskless in Toronto.

November 24

Dr. Nili Kaplan-Myrth's mask mandate fails to pass in her first trustee meeting, which was seemingly her only reason for running in the first place.

December 18

After galivanting maskless around Qatar during the World Cup, Bruce Arthur catches COVID-19.

Bruce spent the last two years moralizing respiratory virus infections, so he'd prefer that you not mention this inconvenient truth.

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