Thread by @DaRumbling

Amazing

"He's the love of my life but I left him because I needed more me time"

I don't even think this is a kind of selfishness

I think this is the phenomenon I've talked about before were social media is causing young women to have para social relationships with themselves

Social media and influencers, and now particularly with TikTok

We have this very widespread behavior of watching yourself, talk to yourself

Social Media categorically requires a fair bit of ego, but this front camera day in the life of shit is a different monster

First and foremost, you're no longer living or experiencing anything, because everything is content

Everything is curated, everything is for an audience

Everything must be perfect within the definition of whatever "brand" you have established

But the bigger issue here feels like one of self-obsession, this is the parasocial relationship

It's most likely entirely unavoidable because you are literally spending large portions of basically every day looking at yourself that's looking at yourself

I would almost bet money that the issue with this guy was that he wanted to spend time with her, he wanted her to be filming herself less

He intruded upon the relationship she has with her other self, the self inside the phone screen

It's really sad, because she effectively found a soulmate

She decided at a young age she wants to live the luxury vagabond life and be a van hippie

And then she found a guy that she really likes, who's about the same age, who's good looking, who wants the same life

But because parasocial relationships are inherently bad, inherently toxic, it's always going to end up this way

I'm betting this is far more widespread than most people realize, as a lot of young women seek to become influencers

This is probably responsible for a lot of very questionable dating behavior among young women as well

Because you're inherently pre-selecting for men that aren't interested in you

A guy genuinely interested in you is going to require you to take time away from your other self

On the other hand, some scummy player who's only there to get his dick wet and eat your food doesn't care that you don't have time for him

Because he literally doesn't want that, he wants to get his dick wet and leave

I'm immediately reminded of the many videos I've seen of young women complaining about how many guys spend too long in the "Talking phase"

That's the part of the relationship that takes time, that takes time away from your parasocial relationship with yourself

Just imagine how frustrated guys have to be

You're a guy that found the perfect girl, the complete perfect match, who's also incredibly attractive AND she told you you're the love of her life

And it still isn't enough

I genuinely don't think so

The more I observe this younger generation the more I think the sexual behavior is downstream from this self parasocial behavior

It's a side effect of wanting to be your own spouse

Self imposed Truman Show is a PERFECT description

Normalization of extreme "selflove"

Straight men aren't given this, but you'll notice gay men are which is why they make up a noticeable portion of this kind of content too

You're probably right

But her self parasocial relationship means that true "alone time" is so incredibly rare as to be more important than anything else

It's self inflicted

This doesn't actually change anything

She's living in his self inflicted situation that is, in part, for her parasocial self, and stalling life indefinitely for it

Also the entirety of human history is built on young couples living in small spaces

No it's a thread about the ever increasing parasocial issue that's growing among young people in western society using this particular video as a jumping off point

It's pretty sure straight forward tbh

This is actually where I first started getting the idea of the parasocial self

They're obsessed with the person on the screen, the persona of who they are, it's one sided because your reflection can't love you back

It's unconscious narcissism

It's the entire premise of the thread, I literally went into great detail about it

See above

I wouldn't say faux because to them I believe the relationship *feels real* but the relationship can't be real because again your reflection cannot reciprocate

I would call it true narcissism, but I think that makes this sound like a personal issue where I think this is more a cultural one which is why I avoided it entirely

I can't imagine how you WOULDN'T

It's why I refuse to make any real attempt to monetize this account

I don't want ANY obligation to the "Skull King"

A big part of why this thread is so long and why I care is because I'm starting to believe this is "just what the kids do" in the same way in the 50s/60s kids suddenly went to burger joints and listened to rock & roll

And I think that's a problem

You'll notice that I never once said it was wrong

I said it was sad to find your soulmate and decide to leave them but never that it was incorrect

I have full agency and respect of that choice, intentionally

I avoided these kinds of tropes because of her age

Hypergamy is a learned behavior but my theory is that much of it modernly is downstream of something bigger, an overarching cultural quality something I'm gonna clean up and call Narcissus Syndrome

I want to differentiate from narcissism because by its definition narcissism is self aware and thereby a personal issue

Narcissus Syndrome is not personal, people are not self aware

This is what you'd expect right?

There is almost a feeling that we "older" people are functioning under a different set of definitions

If we take her face value and except her claim of love how does it reconcile with the older definition and behavior?

I promise I'm not trying to be mean

But even now in defense of yourself you are directing me to your CONTENT and self promoting

Even the wording feels a little overly congenial and hollow in the way an influencer would talk to up engagement

This will be the last thing I add and then I'm done with this because people keep bringing this up

You're correct, parasocial relationships are defined by lack of reciprocity

Why do you think she needed space and independence to go "find herself"?

I lied, one last thing

People ask why do I care, why put so much effort (lol) into this?

Because I want to do what nobody did for millennials, which is to actually take the time to understand what the internet is doing to young people, culturally and sociologically

20 years ago nobody asked what the internet was doing to young people, how it was going to influence them and how they would grow up differently because of it

Many of the issues we deal with as a people stem from this simple fact