Thread by @AdamHighcliffe

So, the #NationalConservative conference is over.
Is #NatC the far-right future? Or the death rattle of a party at war with itself?
Let's take a closer look at what the National Conservative movement says about itself.

WARNING: this thread could make you combust...
1/

First, whatever's gone wrong with the UK, it's not the Conservatives' fault.
No, it's Liberals.
The last 13 years of Conservatism? You imagined that.
18 years of Thatcherism? You imagined that too.
UK media dominated by Conservatives? Meh.
Everything is the fault of LIBERALS.
2/

And what does the LEFT do? It "deliberately tries to polarise".
The cheek of it.
Countless polarising headlines in the Express and Mail?
Didn't happen.
Countless polarising statements by Conservative hard-righters?
Nope.
Immigration, borders, Brexit? Liberal obsessions.
3/

And how does the Left retain all this power?
That's right. They're underwritten by the biotech industry.
It's a radical conspiracy to hand over biomedical self-mastery. Obvs.
4/

The most important thing to remember about The Left is that they're "completely out of touch with normal ideas".
Got that?
Completely. Out. Of. Touch.
So, back to National Conservatism. What issues are they concerned with?
5/

Yes. Penises. That's what people want to talk about on the doorstep. Penises.
But the Nat-Cs aren't all about schlongs, you know. They have political depth...
6/

What else keeps the Nat-Cs awake at night?
Getting rid of renewable energy. Will no-one think of the birds?
Only NatC-ism can save us from the "post-apocalyptic landscape."
7/

Nat-Cs know the real threat behind renewable energy. Net Zero will leave Brits "cold and poor".
(Citation required.)
Because obviously the average Joe will have to pay for any costs.
Not the rich.
NOT THE RICH.
8/

And then there's marriage. It's not about you. It's a "public act". You're doing it for society.
(Unless you're gay.)
So, no pressure, but this is what people worry about on the doorstep. Whether your marriage will survive.
9/

And here's why. No marriage means no babies. And lack of babies is The Big Issue facing us all. Even more than neo-Marxism.
Yes, liberalism has failed to deliver babies, and only NatC-ism can show us the way. Give us babies.
(White babies only, obviously.)
10/

After all, "Britain is a Christian nation or nothing at all."
It's god or bust.
Which is why NatC-ists are so kind to other people.
(Don't mention immigrants.)
11/

After all. NatCs believe that it's not racist to endlessly rage at foreigners for the last decade.
Especially not at a far-right rally. Um, I mean, Conservative conference.
But wait. We haven't spoken enough on that subject...
12/

There's no racism in UK, and definitely not in the Nat-Cs.
But multiculturalism? That's not who we are.
We may be a genetic mix of Celts, Vikings, Angles, Saxons, Francs, Romans...
And people from all over the world might call the UK home.
But diversity? No, not here, thanks.
13/

But we need to look after our "natural population". You know who we mean.
And if we let The Others outbreed us, the country will be amok with dogs and homeless.
Just like, um, San Francisco.
14/

And of course, the rot sets in at school.
Today's kids don't sing the national anthem. And their parents refuse to move them to Non-Woke schools.
The Nat-Cs would discipline your kids, don't you worry.
15/

And the Nat-Cs don't hate Britain the way the LIBERALS do.
No, the Nat-Cs love Britain.
And they know that people around the world love Britain too.
They remember the good old days of colonialism and empire and brutality "with fondness".
No legacy issues there at all.
None.
16/

And people should be proud of nationalism.
After all, it's had a bad rep.
The Nazis just "mucked up" nationalism a bit.
Mucked. Up.
Got that? Are we clear about Nat-C views now?
17/

It's not nationalists with the crazy ideas.
No, it's the Left.
After all, the Left "want to replace the Holocaust with slavery."
The Left has "ire" for the Jews, because... jealousy.
(No-one's sure what the guy's saying here, but he hates the Left, so it's allowed.)
18/

Finally, remember that Nat-Cs support YOUR RIGHTS.
(As long as you're a straight white right-wing British Christian.)
The right to expression is so important.
That's why they restricted the rights to vote, strike and protest.
Because the Nat-Cs love freedom.
19/

Now, the haters will hate. Some people will even talk nonsense about what was said at the Nat-C rally.
But listen to the Nat-Cs in their own words.
Listen very, very carefully.
Because the Nat-Cs may not be able to run a bath.
But they run the Conservative party.
20/20