If you think Mario Balotelli has calmed down, think again.
The Italian nutcase spent last season punching club staff, sneaking girls into the team hotel and abusing his own fans.
Buckle in for the chaotic tale of Mario's latest adventure...
Summer 2022: Mario Balotelli has resurrected his career with Turkish side Adana Demirspor.
After 18 goals in 32 games, he earns a recall to the Italian national team for the first time in 4 years.
But he's still capable of the odd mental moment...
So when Swiss giants Sion come knocking, Adana cash in and flog Mario for £3.5m.
He's welcomed as a hero by fans.
They even defend him when the local press accuse him of drunkenly staggering out of a nightclub.
Mario rewards the fans' faith with 4 goals in 4 games in October.
But he melts down during a 0-0 draw with Basel, giving the crowd the middle finger and grabbing his dick.
The Swiss FA hit him with a ban, and Mario brands them "masters of corruption" and "mafia" in response.
As Sion slip down the table, the squad head to Marbella for a winter training camp.
But Mario leads his teammates astray.
He lures them to a bar, gets them pissed and sneaks a load of girls into the team hotel.
Furious club staff catch them and Mario gets a bollocking.
As his goals dry up, Mario gets a brief bit of good news when he's nominated for the Puskas Award.
He gets the nod for an audacious rabona goal he'd scored in Turkey.
In February, a fan finds an old signed photo sent to him by Mario in his Man City days.
But he's only just translated the message.
It reads: "To Sacha, fuck off. Mario Balotelli".
And things are about to get much, much worse...
Looking to cheer him up, Sion's sporting director Bartholemy Constantin drags the striker to a fancy dress party.
Mario slips into a Pikachu costume, but he gets in a fight and swings a punch at a guest.
The bloke ducks and Mario ends up smacking Constantin in the face.
Sporting a black eye, Constantin watches from the stands as Sion lose their next game 4-0 to St Gallen.
Disgusted Sion fans burn Balotelli's shirt and jeer him off the pitch.
In another game, he refuses to come on as a sub with the side trailing 3-0.
And just to make matters worse, Mario learns he's missed out on the Puskas Award to a bloke with one leg.
To be fair, it's a hell of a goal.
After losing a play-off to hated rivals Lausanne, Sion are relegated to the second tier.
Sporting director Constantin blames the Balotelli "soap opera" and says signing him was a mistake.
Still aged only 32, Mario is on the lookout for a new club.
Is anyone brave enough...
If you like nutters, you'll love our special on Maradona's wild time at Napoli.
From plastic penises to cocaine in the Pope's bathroom, this is the story Netflix won't tell you.
Read it here:
theupshot.beehiiv.com/p/diego-marado…
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