When Wayne Rooney burst on to the scene, there was only one nagging doubt.

Would he have the sordid private life to match his footballing genius?

It didn’t take long to find out.

From airport arrests to spiking his teammates with Viagra, welcome to the wild world of Wazza... Our story begins in 2002, when 16-year-old Rooney bursts on to the scene with a screamer for Everton.

But while his teammates rave about their new prodigy, Wayne isn't so impressed with them.

"I remember thinking: these are crap," he admits later.

N'Golo Kante is the nicest man in football.

He drives a banged up old Mini, does his shopping at Asda, and meets up with fans to play FIFA.

As the midfield maestro lights up Euro 2024, here's the story of football's loveliest bloke...



Our story begins in the Parisian suburbs, where a teenage Kante stars in the youth team of local side JS Suresnes.

But he's half the size of his teammates...

When he wins a player of the tournament award, the mini midfielder (far left) looks on as his pals hoist his trophy.

England's stars take on Denmark tomorrow, and as your grandmother might say, "they seem like a lovely bunch."

But the current crop aren't complete angels.

From scrapping in pubs to propositioning pregnant fans, here are the squad's wildest moments... GK: Jordan Pickford

The Everton keeper doesn't take kindly to name callers.

His family changed their name from Pigford to avoid being called 'Piggy', and Jordan has got into at least two pub fights with hecklers who joked about his "T-Rex arms".

The England squad that flew to Germany in 2006 was packed with absolute wrong'uns.

From shagging grannies to battering DJs, meet England's last golden generation... Jamie Carragher (RB)

In what the tabloids called "the most debauched Christmas party ever", Carragher smothered himself in whipped cream before shagging strippers with a Liverpool teammate.

Michael Owen is said to have stood in the corner looking "stunned".

Jose Mourinho is so charismatic that John Terry said "I'd leave the pitch in a coffin for him".

But he's also a ruthless bastard who threatens ball boys, fights staff and spits poison at his enemies.

As he plots his next move, this is the story of Jose Mourinho v The World... Mourinho's dad was a top flight manager in Portugal, and Jose soon learns how cruel football can be.

“I was 9 or 10 years old and my father was sacked on Christmas Day", he recalls.

But it doesn't put him off: Jose bags his first job as a translator for Porto boss Bobby Robson.

Surprise stabbings. Crazed stalkers. Broomsticks up bums.

Neymar's life is like a Netflix drama.

From punching Parisians to bankrolling his dad's orgies, welcome to ludicrous life of football's biggest wrong'un... Our story begins in 2013, when Neymar's dad enjoys an orgy with several prostitutes at a swanky London hotel.

The gang bang is a sweetener in the €86m deal taking his son from Santos to Barcelona.

According to Santos' president, Neymar won't sign until the orgy is complete.

Gary Neville is a bloody intense bloke.

He bollocks innocent school boys, yells at potatoes, and humiliates his own brother in front of millions of fans.

Don't tell him we wrote this, but here's the story of Sky Sports' grumpy old man... Our story begins in the bungalows of Bury, where Gary relentlessly batters his little brother Phil at table tennis.

They join Man Utd, and Gary rooms with cheeky cockney David Beckham.

David decks their room with scented candles, but Gary enrages him with 5am alarm clocks.

Faustino Asprilla once summed up his philosophy: "lots of sex, no rules and pure life.”

The Newcastle cult hero boozed on the team bus, brought a gun to training, and faced down bloodthirsty drug lords.

Meet Colombia's finest export...

Even before joining Newcastle in 1996, Asprilla had a reputation as a nutcase.

At Italian giants Parma, he misses a European final after gashing his leg by kicking in the door of a bus.

When his captain hands him a written warning, he grabs the letter and eats it.

Shane Warne wasn't like other sportsmen.

A sex-mad cricketing genius, he once summed up his life: "I smoked, I drank, and I bowled a bit of leg spin. I don't have any regrets."

From sexting scandals to lasagne sandwiches, welcome to Warnie's World... Shane Warne's eating habits were legendary.

He ate lasagne sandwiches on Christmas Day, and took his own toaster to India so he could avoid the local cuisine.

On tour in 1998, 2,000 tins of baked beans arrived in a 3 ton crate stamped with the words "Shane Warne, India".

Formula 1 was once a hotbed of booze, drugs and shagging.

And that's just the tame stuff.

From shooting up pubs to "Nazi orgies", these are the stories Drive to Survive won't tell you...

James Hunt

The sport's most notorious playboy slept with an exhausting 5000 women.

In the 2 weeks before his 1976 world title win, he bedded 35 British Airways stewardesses.

Minutes before the decisive race, he was caught shagging a Japanese fan in the pit lane.

You might remember Jese Rodriguez as a misfiring Stoke striker with a penchant for awful sunglasses.

But his off-field antics are worthy of a soap opera.

From exploding apartments to getting run over by his fiancée, here's the story of his truly ludicrous life...

The Spanish striker was once tipped as Real Madrid's hottest prospect, and ominously dubbed "the next Ronaldo."

But things didn't quite go to plan...

Frank Lampard has the face of an angel.

But behind the boyish grin and 25-yard screamers lurks an unexpected badboy.

From Ayia Napa sex tapes to benders on 9/11, this is the story of an extremely nice man who did some very weird things...

Our story begins in 1995, when a fresh-faced Frank makes his West Ham debut.

Fans brand him a nepo baby, but his uncle - manager Harry Redknapp - backs him.

A furious fan claims random midfielder Scotty Canham is better than Frank. He's later unmasked as Scotty's uncle...

Sure, Jamie Carragher gobs on children and smothers strippers in whipped cream.

But we all lose our heads sometimes... don't we?

From hotel room "hand shandies" to Tokyo police chases, this is a thread on the Red who lost his head...

Our story begins at Liverpool's rowdy 1998 Christmas party.

20-year-old Jamie Carragher dresses as the Hunchback of Notre Dame, smothers himself in whipped cream and "performs a sex act" on a stripper.

A horrified Michael Owen stands in the corner in "stunned silence".

Kolo and Yaya Toure are football's most scandalous siblings.

The Ivorian brothers hoovered up silverware, shagged in car parks and hired escorts for charity fundraisers.

From comparing knobs to secret alter egos, this is the story of football's friskiest fraternity... Our story begins in 2002, when eager young defender Kolo Toure rocks up at Arsenal for a trial.

After injuring Henry and Bergkamp, Kolo flies in two-footed on gaffer Arsene Wenger.

Wenger is left unable to walk, but tells his coaches: “I like his desire, we sign him tomorrow.”

They don't make managers like Neil Warnock anymore.

He gave team talks naked, cut his players' toe nails and picked the team based on his wife's dreams.

As the legendary gaffer heads to Aberdeen, enjoy this thread, but "enjoy it by being fookin disciplined"... Our story begins in the late 80s, when a young Stan Collymore walks into the Notts County dressing room.

He finds manager Neil Warnock on his knees, cutting his players' toenails.

A trained chiropodist, Warnock fixes a few bunions as he guides the Magpies to the top flight.

For a bloke who won the Ballon d'Or and lit up the World Cup, Michael Owen's life is comically dull.

The England legend has never tasted tea or coffee, and his mum managed his bank account until he was 38.

This is the story of England's weirdo wonderkid... Our story begins in 1999, when the Liverpool striker stars in TV series Michael Owen's Soccer Skills.

He's meant to be teaching youngsters, but Owen spends the show gleefully smacking volleys past a 13 year old.

“I just love volleying – poor old Jamie has no chance", he crows.

They don't make 'em like Harry Redknapp any more.

The West Ham gaffer struck deals like Del Boy, bollocked players on live TV, and sent fans on as substitutes.

From pornstar transfer targets to karate kicks in training, meet football's most triffic manager... In 1990, Harry's travelling near Rome when his taxi collides with another car.

He's dragged from the burning wreckage, but paramedics think he's dead and cover him with a blanket.

Unconscious for 2 days, he recovers but gains a facial tic and loses his sense of smell forever.

You might remember Nicklas Bendtner as a misfiring Arsenal striker with godawful tattoos.

But what he lacked in goals, he made up for in scintillating off-field scandal.

From bedding baronesses to boob job blackmail, welcome to the ludicrous life of Lord Bendtner...

(THREAD)

Our story begins in 2005, when the 16-year-old striker joins the Arsenal academy.

He's soon in trouble for hiding in the ladies toilets to avoid school classes, and is shipped out on loan to Birmingham City.

And that's where he begins his ill-fated quest for true love...

Arsene Wenger ran a tight ship at Arsenal.

But there was one player in his famous Invicibles squad who couldn't be tamed.

Meet the Gucci-flogging, ticket touting backup keeper Graham Stack....

In 1998, a cocky 16-year-old rocks up to Arsenal training behind the wheel of his dad's Ford Escort.

It's Graham Stack.

His hungover old man - landlord at the local boozer - is passed out in the passenger seat after a 4 day bender.

The academy coaches aren't impressed.

Mario Balotelli is an absolute lunatic.

He sets teammates on fire, punches club directors and flees burning buildings with suitcases stuffed with cash.

This is the story of The Italian Nutjob...

(THREAD) The hell-raising begins at Serie C side Lumezanne, where a teenage Mario specialises in a particularly unsavoury prank:

"He would pee on our bags containing our clean clothes" recalled teammate Marco Pedretti.

"And he would pee on people too."

Steve Bruce once said: "I'm not really into tactics".

But luckily he has a second career to fall back on.

Back in 1999, Bruce published a trilogy of football murder mystery novels starring his alter-ego Steve Barnes.

And they're absolutely amazing...

STRIKER, SWEEPER and DEFENDER follow Mulcaster United legend Steve Barnes as he guides Leddersfield Town to promotion, while simultaneously solving murders.