At 24, Jamie Vardy was working in a prosthetic limbs factory and playing 7th tier football.

Five years later he was a Premier League champion.

As he finally bids farewell to Leciester, this is the story of football's greatest fairytale...

(Thread) Our story begins in Sheffield in the mid 90s, when a young Jamie kicks his ball into next door's garden.

His "miserable" neighbour pops the ball with a knife, so Jamie smashes her brand new window with a brick.

And the chaos is just getting started...

Eddie Jordan was F1's most colourful character.

The Team Jordan supremo battled one-armed go-karters, wrote contracts on napkins and catapulted Katie Price to global stardom.

From flogging fish to partying with Pierce Brosnan, this is the story of Eddie's F1 fairytale...
Our story begins in 1970, when a fresh-faced Eddie watches a motor race on Guernsey.

He's hooked.

Back in Dublin, Eddie buys a kart and wins the Irish championship at his first attempt.

But disaster strikes when a one-armed karter drives the wrong way round the track...

Dumping Liverpool out the Champions League marks the end of a weird, violent and sexually charged 5 years for PSG.

From curb-crawling midfielders to masked hitmen, the club has been a cesspit of scandal.

This is the sordid story of PSG's doomed galactico era...
Our story begins in 2021, when midfielder Ander Herrera goes for an evening drive through a Paris park notorious for curb-crawling.

Somehow, a prostitute "enters his car", snatches €200 and his phone, and legs it.

It marks the start of a terrifying PSG crime wave...

You’ve probably heard about the Lazio eagle handler who got sacked for posting pics of his brand new penis.

But who is the Spanish fascist with the big bird and the big knob? And what is a “penile prosthesis”?

Strap ̶o̶n̶ ̶ in for the full, NSFW story…
Juan’s been flying his pet eagle over Lazio’s Stadio Olimpico for 15 years.

But this week, the club “terminated” their relationship, after Juan shared graphic pics and vids of his erect wang on social media.

Why the sudden exhibitionist streak?

Coked-up refs, on-pitch arrests, and Vini Jr's hissy fit: it's been a wild season so far.

From the brothels of Johannesburg to the sofas of the One Show, there's been scandal everywhere.

As we hit the half way point, here's a rundown of the maddest moments...
Most managers prepare for the new season with gruelling fitness drills.

But back in August, Mikel Arteta unleashed a gang of pickpockets on his unsuspecting squad at a team dinner.

As Kai Havertz hunted for his Rolex, Mikel explained he wanted them to be “alert at all times”.

Before Luke Littler, darts was ruled by a deranged rabble of chain-smoking boozehounds.

The sport's biggest names stole cars, punched grannies, and romped with sex-starved American groupies.

From serial killers to bathtubs of wine, welcome to the golden age of darts...
Our story begins in 1974, when randy showman Cliff Inglis wins the World Masters.

He celebrates by asking a "busty lass" to take off her bra and put a penny on her breast.

He throws a dart and *ding*, knocks it off first time.

In 2022, Paul Pogba was snatched from a Paris street by a gang of masked man.

They held assault rifles to his head and demanded €13m.

Today, his own brother was jailed for his part in the blackmail plot.

But how did it come to this? Buckle in for the full, shocking story... Our story begins in the mean suburbs of Paris, where Paul and his brother Mathias are raised by a single mum.

Weirdly, Paul describes her as his "first girlfriend".

But while Paul's football career flourishes, his brother's goes in a different direction...

Faustino Asprilla once summed up his philosophy: "lots of sex, no rules and pure life.”

The Newcastle cult hero boozed on the team bus, brought a gun to training, and faced down bloodthirsty drug lords.

Meet Colombia's finest export...
Even before joining Newcastle in 1996, Asprilla had a reputation as a nutcase.

At Italian giants Parma, he misses a European final after gashing his leg by kicking in the door of a bus.

When his captain hands him a written warning, he grabs the letter and eats it.

David Beckham is England's naughtiest national treasure.

He scrapped with Fergie, played strip Scrabble with Page 3 girls, and skipped his son's birth to hang out with Beyonce.

From knobbing his PA to "the stag do of the millennium", meet the real David Beckham... Our story begins when Becks is born in the aptly named suburb of Whipps Cross.

He joins Man United as a schoolboy, and sneaks out to go raving at the Hacienda nightclub.

After graduating to the first team, he nets this stunner from his own half against Wimbledon.

The year is 2005.

Pep Guardiola is handed a suspended jail term for drug use by an Italian court.

But how did it come to this?

From sinister shamans to feuds with Mourinho, this is the story of City's slaphead supercoach... In 1986, a 15-year-old Pep watches Terry Venables guide his beloved Barcelona to the European Cup final.

Six years later, Guardiola wins the trophy for Barca himself, along with two league titles.

He's only 21, but an Italian magazine brands him the best player on earth.

Dennis Rodman is a one of a kind, certified, gold-plated, Grade A, unadulterated nutter.

He headbutted refs, went on benders with Kim Jong Un and flew 5,000 miles to shag Madonna. For cash.

From pasta up the ass to 9 day marriages, buckle in for his utterly insane story…
In 1981, 20-year-old Dennis Rodman is homeless and living a life of petty crime in Dallas, Texas.

“I was stealing and robbing in the projects, but I never killed anyone”.

But after growing 12 inches in 18 months, he's recruited to play basketball for a rural Oklahoma college.

Mike Tyson's life is absolutely insane.

The heavyweight champ robbed houses, got his prison counsellor pregnant, and made Brad Pitt beg for his life.

And that's just the tame stuff.

From kilos of cocaine to tigers eating neighbours, meet the scariest man on the planet… Mike Tyson dropped out of school at 7 for a life of crime.

At age 11, he takes acid, robs houses and terrorises locals with a WW1 bayonet.

When a bully rips the head off his pet pigeon, Mike knocks him out.

Soon grown men are knocking on his door, challenging him to fight.

"This man is a genius", Man United tweeted about Erik Ten Hag in February 2023.

Today they sacked him after two years of bitter feuds, poisoned guests and disastrous results.

From miserable benders to firing Fergie, this is the story of Ten Hag at the wheel...
In August 2022, Erik Ten Hag's reign at Man United gets off to a shaky start.

Brentford thump United 4-0 in his second match and his sheepish squad are booed by their own fans.

The new boss cancels the squad's day off and makes them run 13km.

Jens Lehmann is a bona fide headcase.

The ex-Arsenal keeper strangled teammates, pissed on pitches, and attacked his neighbours in the dead of night.

From drunken arrests to chainsaw rampages, this is the story of Mad Jens...
Our story in begins in 1993 when economics student Jens Lehmann lines up for Schalke against local rivals Leverkusen.

But he's subbed off after conceding 3 goals in 7 minutes.

Rather than face his gaffer's fury, Lehmann legs it, borrows cash from a fan, and gets the tram home.

The year is 2018.

Ex-Liverpool star Jermaine Pennant is defending his countless threesomes to a jeering audience on The Jeremy Kyle Show.

But how did it come to this?

From cat murder cover-ups to cannabis farms in the attic, this is the scandalous saga of Jermaine Pennant... Our story begins in 1998, when a fresh-faced Jermaine stars for the Notts County youth team.

But his coaches despair when he falls in with a local gang.

One night, Jermaine dodges a gun fight by hiding in KFC, nicking chicken wings while his mates fight a rival posse outside.

They don't make managers like Neil Warnock anymore.

He gave team talks naked, cut his players' toe nails and picked the team based on his wife's dreams.

So by all means enjoy this thread, but "enjoy it by being fucking disciplined"... Our story begins in the late 80s, when a young Stan Collymore walks into the Notts County dressing room.

He finds manager Neil Warnock on his knees, cutting his players' toenails.

A trained chiropodist, Warnock fixes a few bunions as he guides the Magpies to the top flight.

For a man who captained his country, John Terry is a proper wrong'un.

The Chelsea defender scrapped in nightclubs, pissed in pint glasses and shagged on motorway hard shoulders.

This is the story of JT: captain, leader, bell end… Our story begins in 1994, when a teenage John devastates his family by leaving West Ham for Chelsea.

And when he scores against the Hammers, they go nuts.

He recalls: "I went to celebrate in front of their fans, I saw my uncle and my father screaming and insulting me.”

He was supposed to be the next Ronaldo.

But Adriano's career imploded thanks to a crazy cocktail of goals, guns and gangbangs.

From 20 person orgies to accidentally shooting his girlfriend, this is the story of a wonderkid gone wild...

Our story begins in 2004, when 22-year-old Adriano is a Brazilian national hero.

He top scores in the Copa America, lights up Serie A with Inter and is unplayable in Pro Evo Soccer.

But tragedy is about to strike...

Three years ago Dutch winger Quincy Promes was lighting up Euro 2020 and linked with Man United.

Now he's exiled in Dubai, fighting a jail sentence for cocaine smuggling and stabbing his cousin.

From hit n' runs to stolen necklaces, this is the story of a broken Promes... Our story begins in 2017, when Dutch bad boy Quincy Promes fires Spartak Moscow to the title.

He's named Russia's footballer of the year, gets a £15m move to Ajax and records a rap track with Memphis Depay.

But it's all about to come crashing down...

When Roman Abramovich sold Chelsea, the fans feared the worst.

And it turns out they were right! Todd Boehly's two year reign has been an absolute shitshow.

From 42 man squads to Tuchel's sordid secret, this is the story of Chelsea's takeover from hell...

In May 2022, white-toothed soccer chad Todd Boehly buys Chelsea from Roman Abramovich.

Keen to prove he's not a clueless yank, he proposes his dream starting line up to Thomas Tuchel's backroom team.

It has 12 players laid out in a rare 4-4-3 formation.

When Wayne Rooney burst on to the scene, there was only one nagging doubt.

Would he have the sordid private life to match his footballing genius?

It didn’t take long to find out.

From airport arrests to spiking his teammates with Viagra, welcome to the wild world of Wazza... Our story begins in 2002, when 16-year-old Rooney bursts on to the scene with a screamer for Everton.

But while his teammates rave about their new prodigy, Wayne isn't so impressed with them.

"I remember thinking: these are crap," he admits later.