Brazilian striker Romario was an absolute shagger.
In the words of one teammate, “He was only interested in two things: football and fucking.”
From gangland kidnappings to corrupting Ronaldo, this is the story of randy Rom...
Our story begins in the fearsome favelas of Rio, where a young Romario is savaged by a pack of stray dogs.
And he's never the same again.
In 1985 he's called up to Brazil's World Youth Cup squad, but is sent home in disgrace after coaches spot him pissing off the hotel balcony.
Despite his penchant for pissing, Rom catches the eye of Rio side Vasco da Gama.
And they're not the only ones...
In 1988 he marries his 17-year-old fiancee on the club's pitch, in a wedding screened live on Brazilian TV.
They met when she was 13.
After 5 years in Holland with PSV, Barca fork out to bring Rom to the Nou Camp.
And he soon makes an impression - he's sent off for punching Diego Simeone in the face.
In 1994, he begs boss Johan Cruyff to let him go to Brazil for Carnival.
He agrees, on one condition...
Cruyff strikes a pact with his star striker: if he scores twice the next day, he can go.
20 minutes into the game, Rom bags his second goal and turns to the bench, pleading to be subbed off.
When Cruyff asks what's up, Romario winks: "Coach, my plane leaves in an hour."
But it's not all samba dancing and caipirinhas.
In 1994, his dad is kidnapped by a gang of terrifying Rio gangsters, who demand £7m in ransom.
But Romario's old mates from the favela reveal the hostage takers' hideout, and armed police storm the gangland den to free him.
When the World Cup comes around, Romario is a bona fide star for his country.
He even starts giving coaching tips, demanding the manager pick his old pal Edmundo.
When Brazil legend Pele tells him to "let the coaches coach", he brands the national treasure "mentally retarded".
The gaffer refuses to bow to Romario's demands, picking bible-clutching striker Bebeto instead.
A furious Rom refuses to sit next to Bebeto on the plane, but the goal-hungry pair fire Brazil to World Cup glory.
Later, Rom reveals the sordid secret behind his success...
"Good strikers" he pronounces, "can only score goals when they have had good sex on the night before a match."
He claims a restless night of knobbing inspired the World Cup win.
Unfortunately his wife was nowhere near the team hotel... she divorces him.
Basking in World Cup glory, Romario embarks on the mother of all benders.
He samba-dances out of Barca and joins Valencia, where gaffer Claudio Ranieri confronts him over his non-stop partying.
A hungover Romario snaps: “I’ll worry about me, you worry about the team.”
Meanwhile, Rom releases a godawful rap song with old pal Edmundo titled "Bad Boys".
But their bromance implodes when Edders is picked ahead of him for the Brazil squad.
Fuming, Romario plasters the walls of his bar in Rio with ugly cartoons of the Vasco striker.
It's not the only teammate he's envious of.
When Ronaldo bursts onto the scene, Rom is terrified he'll take his spot.
So he convinces the youngster to scale the walls of Brazil's training camp, and takes him out on a heavy night of boozing before training.
It doesn't work...
Rom is dropped for the World Cup squad and returns to Rio, where he becomes increasingly unhinged.
In 2003, an enraged Fluminense ultra invades the training pitch and throws 6 live chickens at him.
A furious Romario attacks the supporter, before police drag him away.
After retirement, the drama keeps coming.
He's elected as a Brazilian senator, but his third wife divorces him.
So he hooks up with a friend of his daughter's, 19-year-old American singer Dixie Pratt.
She wasn't even born when he won the World Cup.
In fairness, he's always been keen to nurture the next generation.
When Brazil head to Russia for the 2018 World Cup, reporters ask Romario what advice he has for young striker Gabriel Jesus.
He replies: "The first thing I advise him to do is have lots of good sex.”
If you like South American party animals, you'll love our special on Maradona's wild time at Napoli.
From plastic penises to cocaine in the Pope's bathroom, this is the story Netflix won't tell you.
Read it here:
upshot.email/p/diego-marado…
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