Thread by @nezumionice

okay aziraphale is DEFINITELY 6000% under some kind of influence like idk if it was the coffee or whatever but this is insane: A VERY LONG THREAD BUT ITS WORTH IT I SWEAR 🙏🏼

so first things first, metatron tells aziraphale about the archangel promotion, aziraphale turns him down IMMEDIATELY. of course he does, he‘s DEAD SET on staying on earth, he said he made his position quite clear and most importantly, he just wants to be with crowley.

but the metatron KNOWS this. so the very next thing he says, like he was preparing for it, is the offer to restore crowley as an angel so they can safely work together. a seemingly amicable but undeniably manipulative move.

now the funny thing is, WE DONT SEE AZIRAPHALE’S IMMEDIATE REACTION TO IT. but for now let’s assume, coffee theory and religious trauma aside, that this is still the same aziraphale we’ve seen throughout all of s1 and 2...

…the same aziraphale who has truly known and loved crowley, a demon, for 6000 years and looked at him with THIS EXPRESSION just minutes ago when gabriel and beelzebub were talking about starting a life together free from heaven and hell:

also the same aziraphale who had those 6000 years + ARMAGEDDON to understand and accept “shades of grey”, the same aziraphale who heard crowley talk about being on “their own side” ever since the biblical era… im convinced the minisodes were actually just there to prove that—

—aziraphale would have DEFINITELY known at that point during ep6, that in no way would crowley want to be restored. he KNOWS crowley so wholly, more now than ever, and how protective they both are of their lives on earth. they had a whole argument because of it.

the next chronological shot we see of that scene is this, after the metatron has laid down all his terms and sends aziraphale back across the street to tell crowley the “good news”. he looks TERRIFIED. like he doesn’t actually want to do this. there is CLEARLY something wrong.

and there is CLEARLY something that happened between this and the intercut scene, where they were at a table and now they’re on the street. they could not have possibly gone from the offer and then immediately to “well then, go and tell your friend the good news!”

aziraphale said something then, i highly suspect he rejected the offer, and then the metatron did something to him to mess with his mind a little, so that when he does give crowley the proposal it’s still authentic enough to go undetected.

NOW HERE’S THE TICKER. when crowley is all horrified, “tell me you said no.” aziraphale tells him, “if i’m in charge, i can make a difference.” BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT HE SAID TO THE METATRON WHEN HE WAS OFFERED THE JOB. HE SAID “i don’t want to go back to heaven.” HE *DID* SAY NO.

let me make this clearer. in regards to the job itself, aziraphale has EXPLICITLY rejected the offer multiple times. right. that much we very well know. he DOES NOT want to be the next supreme archangel. the assumption here is he ONLY WANTS TO DO IT BECAUSE OF CROWLEY.

but we NEVER ACTUALLY got his answer to the offer of crowley’s restoration. we just ASSUMED from this whole interaction that he said yes. but then CROWLEY BRINGS UP GABRIEL AND BEELZEBUB. who aziraphale looked at like this, and the wistfulness in his eyes at crowley afterwards:

but now for some reason, the mention of him and crowley being together in the same way makes him look like this??? aint no way. wtf happened

also side note but the repetition of this makes it so fucking unsettling. why is he so desperate when HE doesn’t even want to go to heaven himself????

i have a lot to say about “nothing lasts forever.” first of all, aziraphale’s tone of voice. i saw a tumblr post say that it’s aziraphale showing how he’s willing to give up the bookshop for crowley to be safe. okay understood. but he would NOT say it like THAT. “oh, crowley…”

that was borderline patronising, almost like how gabriel in s1 used to talk to aziraphale. this is also the same aziraphale who installed electric candles and multiple fire extinguishers and looked nauseous at the memory of the bookshop on fire.

second of all, people have been comparing this to what aziraphale said to angel!crowley about the universe getting shut down etc, WELL THAT’S THE POINT!! aziraphale hadn’t learned yet that it’s possible for the earth to live on and it’s possible for god’s plans to be different.

what we’re hearing during this entire scene just feels a bit like eden!aziraphale talking. i’m not saying present day aziraphale is completely free from religious trauma, and i do agree that he still has a lot to learn, but this is just OFF.

ok finally we’re getting to the main point. this is where i think the manipulated part of aziraphale starts to crack, the minute crowley starts leaving him. aziraphale almost instinctively calls out to him, and for some reason he adds “to heaven”. not “to me”, “to HEAVEN”.

another very suspicious pause between “we can be together” and “as angels… doing good”. he didn’t need to add that but he did, and it just sounds more unnatural the more u watch it.

ok im aware im probably overanalysing every single line at this point but when he says “i need you!” it sounds more and more like he’s been FORCED to go up to heaven and he DOESN’T WANT CROWLEY TO LET HIM GO.

anyways ‼️THE MAIN POINT IS THIS‼️ if aziraphale alr rejected the initial offer and is only CONSIDERING it at all because there’s a chance crowley might join him, he would have dropped the subject and told metatron to fuck right off the MINUTE crowley said no. do you understand

but now seeing the fact that he’s still insisting after crowley already said no + the fact that we never saw his initial reaction to the offer of crowley’s restoration + the fact that he would already have known crowley’s answer before even asking him this…

there is NO WAY he’s not under SOME kind of influence. i still think it could be a mix of both his own religious trauma (which caused him to drink the coffee in the first place) and the metatron’s fuckery, but there’s ABSOLUTELY no denying he’s not 100% himself at the end of s2.

oh and ofc we all know how during the kiss, aziraphale might be trying to fight off whatever influences he’s under, but since we talked specifically about suspicious pauses, he does it again when he says “i… i forgive you.”

i understand this may all be debunked because aziraphale might think this is a not-preferrable but necessary way to keep both of them safe from heaven and hell’s antics, but then again they just saw gabriel and beelzebub get their happy ending away from both supernatural realms

also crowley made it clear when he said “go off together” this time he meant just staying together on earth because he also said “you can’t leave this bookshop”, so why is aziraphale just so insistent all of a sudden? after all this time fighting to preserve their life here…

also. before the kiss vs after the kiss. do you see my point.

OK IM STUPID I WAS TOO EMOTIONAL TO NOTICE THIS ON FIRST WATCH BUT AZIRAPHALE WAS BEING SO UNCERTAIN AND HESITANT AFTER THE KISS LIKE IT REALLY SHOOK HIM AND THEN HE GOES:

THAT LITTLE “I THINK I…” AFTER LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AT CROWLEY. THEN THE WAY HE GOES BACK TO THE UNSETTLING SMILE IN A SPLIT SECOND. NO WAY

yeah nah…