Thread by @sewistwrites

Monday Mashup time! There are just too many good quotes from this show to stop at Austen characters only, SO... Jane Eyre characters meet The Office. A thread.🧵

Edward Rochester: "Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable."

Blanche Ingram: "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

Mr. Brocklehurst: "I am instituting some changes to make this more like prison."

Mrs. Fairfax: "Edward and Jane? Absolutely not. He is a sophisticated man. He does not need to go dumpster-diving for companionship, OK?"

Jane to Mr. Rochester after the fortune-telling fiasco: "Identity theft is not a joke, Ed! Millions of families suffer EVERY YEAR!"

Adele Varens: "If I don't have some cake soon, I might die."

John Reed: "John Reed does not lose contests, he wins them. Or he quits them because they are unfair."

Richard Mason: "How many people need to get stabbed before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four? ...No, no, let me finish. Five? Six?"

Jane to Mrs. Reed: "Well, well, well. How the turntables..."

Helen Burns: "You know what they say in the Bible about forgiveness? Forgiveness is next to godliness."

Grace Poole: "I am the toilet of Thornfield Hall. I flush away annoying problems so others can keep their hands clean, and, just like a toilet, I am essential."

Miss Scatcherd: "You know, Jane, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight."

Mrs. Reed: "Who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?"

Rosamond Oliver: "I am one of the few people who look hot while eating cupcakes."

Mr. Briggs: "I declare... OBJECTIONNNN! I didn't say it. I declared it."

St. John Rivers: "Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will."

And finally, Bertha Mason: "Should have burned this place down when I had the chance."

The original thread with Jane Austen characters (and a different set of Office quotes):