Amy Colleen Profile picture
Nov 28, 2023 18 tweets 5 min read Read on X
Monday Mashup time! There are just too many good quotes from this show to stop at Austen characters only, SO... Jane Eyre characters meet The Office. A thread.🧵

Edward Rochester: "Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable." Image
Blanche Ingram: "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious." Image
Mr. Brocklehurst: "I am instituting some changes to make this more like prison." Image
Mrs. Fairfax: "Edward and Jane? Absolutely not. He is a sophisticated man. He does not need to go dumpster-diving for companionship, OK?" Image
Jane to Mr. Rochester after the fortune-telling fiasco: "Identity theft is not a joke, Ed! Millions of families suffer EVERY YEAR!" Image
Adele Varens: "If I don't have some cake soon, I might die." Image
John Reed: "John Reed does not lose contests, he wins them. Or he quits them because they are unfair." Image
Richard Mason: "How many people need to get stabbed before we learn a valuable lesson? One? Two? Three? Four? ...No, no, let me finish. Five? Six?" Image
Jane to Mrs. Reed: "Well, well, well. How the turntables..." Image
Helen Burns: "You know what they say in the Bible about forgiveness? Forgiveness is next to godliness." Image
Grace Poole: "I am the toilet of Thornfield Hall. I flush away annoying problems so others can keep their hands clean, and, just like a toilet, I am essential." Image
Miss Scatcherd: "You know, Jane, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight." Image
Mrs. Reed: "Who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?" Image
Rosamond Oliver: "I am one of the few people who look hot while eating cupcakes." Image
Mr. Briggs: "I declare... OBJECTIONNNN! I didn't say it. I declared it." Image
St. John Rivers: "Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will." Image
And finally, Bertha Mason: "Should have burned this place down when I had the chance." Image
The original thread with Jane Austen characters (and a different set of Office quotes):

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More from @sewistwrites

Jul 28, 2024
You've heard me blather on about quotes taken out of context; now let's talk about misattributed quotes! Because these are super annoying, rampant on the internet, and a symptom of unchecked misinformation. 😬

A thread (feat. Jane Austen, but of course), with sources. 🧵
“You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love you.”

Yes, it’s from the 2005 film adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, but it was crafted by screenwriter Deborah Moggach and doesn’t appear anywhere in the original novel. (Second screenshot is from a search of the e-text)
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"Well-behaved women seldom make history" is NOT by Eleanor Roosevelt; it's from a 1976 paper by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, a Harvard professor who later wrote a book on the topic. Kay Mills also published her own variant in a book subtitle in 1995, changing "seldom" to "rarely."

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Read 18 tweets
Jul 26, 2024
Look I know everyone has a hot take about the ballerina farm article but I simply must insist: if you say you homeschool, but you hire someone to teach your children and the parents aren't actually doing it, then you cannot call yourself a homeschooler. You employ a governess.
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Jul 1, 2024
Jane Austen characters × Barbie (2023) quotes. A thread. 🧵 (Sublime!)

Marianne Dashwood: "Do you guys ever think about dying?" Image
Charles Bingley: "I'm trained to stand confidently here." Image
Edward Ferrars: "I'm a man with no power, does that make me a woman?" Image
Read 22 tweets
Jun 28, 2024
Tonight I shall let my keyboard, if not my pen, dwell upon guilt and misery; let the Austentatious live-tweet of the presidential debate commence. This shall be a Thread. 🧵
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Mr. Colleen @Hubby2SewWrites
has just informed me, in a peculiar vernacular I can only imagine must be American, "Well, paint me orange and call me tan. Looks like Trump is actually gonna show up!"
@Hubby2SewWrites I appreciate the generosity of the moderators in informing us which gentle(?)man will stand at each side of the stage. Such obvious information must certainly be necessary for anyone dull enough to still consider themselves undecided at this juncture.
Read 41 tweets
Jun 25, 2024
Jane Austen characters × "10 Things I Hate About You" quotes. An irreverent mashup thread. 🧵

Mr. Darcy: "Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?" Image
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Anne Elliot (but not out loud): "I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time." Image
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May 20, 2024
Jane Austen characters × Arrested Development quotes. A Monday Mashup thread. 🧵

Lady Catherine de Bourgh: "It's one governess, Miss Bennet. What could it cost? $10?" Image
Emma Woodhouse: "I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it." Image
Elinor Dashwood, watching her mother and Marianne and Margaret going into various melodramatics: "Okay, is there a carbon monoxide leak in this house?" Image
Read 31 tweets

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