Thread by @MeatCubie

#Cubie the Intelligence officer MEGATHREAD adventure starts here 1/

#Cubie began life is a typical Russian household. His parents were not around much, so #Cubie watched a LOT of television. Such great messaging from the Motherland! 2/

#Cubie was a bit of a sickly child. Not one for the outdoors. So #Cubie was raised on Russian television. He admired all the characters on there and drank in the wonderful stories! 3/

#Cubie was an enthusiastic pupil of the Motherland. He was obsessed with Russia's great history! The glory of the Motherland was unsurpassed by any other nation on Earth! 4/

#Cubie did his best to stay in shape for the Motherland. He wanted to be the best #Cubie! 5/

While #Cubie was in school, he had a few hobbies. Here we see him playing with one of the neighborhood cats. They are having so much fun together! 6/

Still, #Cubie was obsessed with the wonderful stories of the Motherland. He was reminded daily that no other country on Earth was better than Russia. #Cubie liked this. #Cubie believed it in his heart of hearts. 7/

#Cubie graduated school. He didn't really know what to do afterwards. There were not many opportunities in his area. 8/

So #Cubie fell back on his hobby. Look how much fun #Cubie is having with all the neighborhood cats! This made #Cubie happy for a while. Until some neighbors complained about #Cubie and what he did to their cats. 9/

#Cubie was given a choice. Join the Military or go to prison. #Cubie being the patriot that he was, jumped at the opportunity to serve the Motherland! 10/

As luck would have it, #Cubie got a job as an Intelligence analyst. He liked this work. Lot's of information on how great the Motherland is and how terrible the rest of the world treats the Motherland. /11

When the Motherland decided to invade Ukraine, #Cubie had a lovely ride into the country. Not a care in the world as he was in the rear echelon. So #Cubie took in all the great scenery! He was as ready as he would ever be to De-Nazify Ukraine! /12

The first few days of the SMO, #Cubie helped set up the HQ and began his desk job. It was a pleasant time, and #Cubie was jealous of all the other soldiers talking about their battlefield experiences. Then #Cubie's commanding officer called him for a special job! Joy! 13/

#Cubie followed his boss down into a nearby basement. There was a Ukrainian soldier tied to a chair. #Cubies boss told him that the man was a Nazi and to extract a confession. #Cubie found this odd since the man claimed he was Jewish, so #Cubie attached some wires to him. /14

The the Electricity treatment didn't work, #Cubie got his tools out like he was shown. Eventually after cutting the mans fingers off, he confessed! #Cubie was so proud, but 6 hours of De-Nazification had really tuckered him out! 15/

After a few more clients,#Cubie went back to his tent, his boss told him that they were moving on to a new village in the morning.#Cubie didn't understand why all these Nazi's would protest the accusation so much. They should be as proud of it as #Cubie was of the Motherland! 16/

In the new village, #Cubie saw all the inhabitants assembled in one yard. #Cubie didn't understand why they all looked so scared. They were there to help de-nazify their village! There were surely filthy Nazi's among them, sowing discontent at their arrival! 17/

When #Cubie got to the house that was the new HQ, his boss had already gathered some Nazi's in the basement for him. #Cubie was happy to have so many new clients to work with. The other soldiers left him to do his work, some of them put ear plugs in. 18/

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Never forget, that there is no good meat cube. #Cubie is a product of the Motherland's system. #Cubie enjoys his work and does it so well that he was even promoted. #Cubie continues to de-nazify Ukraine to this day. 25/
FIN